Can Mama Get Her Groove Back? My Mind Has Gone to Sh*t

Can Mama Get Her Groove Back? My Mind Has Gone to Sh*t

It’s day 37 of my 60-Day Get Fit Challenge and I’m in a quandary. Wait. Hold on. Before I get into that, let me share the good stuff.

I’m fit. Not run-a-marathon fit, but there’s a lot less mush happening on my arms, thighs, butt, and tummy. I can rock that elliptical now for 45 minutes like nobody’s business. And I can see a difference. Heck, even people who have never met me notice a difference. I had a meeting with a woman on Monday who had only seen me on Facebook and told me, without prompting, that I looked 30 lbs. lighter than in my photo. After recovering from the simultaneous pride over my new look and mortification over how big I must appear in my Facebook photo, I was not entirely displeased.

But as we all know, this challenge is not supposed to be about my appearance. My goals are to get strong and healthy. That’s what I’m trying to teach my daughter, who is a bit obsessed these days with her clothes, hair, and any accessory that has glitter and sparkles glued to it.

“What’s important, what’s on the inside or outside?” I ask her.

“Inside,” she says, barely igniting a brain cell, as she knows the drill.

“What does that mean?” I ask.

“To be nice,” she replies with a barely stifled yawn.

At least I’m trying.

So back to the quandary. I’m feeling great physically and affirming that, yes, like I tell my daughter, beauty is all about what’s on the inside. But, unfortunately, during my workouts (and now even outside of them) I happen to be doing something that is filling my insides, my mind in particular, with shit. I’m watching the Real Housewives and reading Us Magazine again.


I have a tortured relationship with garbage reality TV and celebrity gossip. Tortured, because my brain lights up the way a cocaine addict’s does after snorting a line. I don’t want to support an industry that makes women look like morons, and I don’t want to contribute to the media’s invasion and exploitation of people’s – and especially their kids’ – privacy. Do I care about Reese Witherspoon’s and Drew Barrymore’s growing baby bumps? No, I really don’t. But faster than you can say “Tardy for the Wedding,” I’ve done an hour on the elliptical and am completely up to date with Giuliana Rancic’s baby nursery plans and not one but three cities’ Housewives’ antics.

Which leads me back to my Get Fit Challenge, since I fell off the wagon the moment I got back on the treadmill. In the last 37 days, I’ve whipped my body back into shape and poisoned my mind, all at the same time. C'mon, you scoff, is it really that bad to watch and read this stuff? My answer is an unequivocal YES.  Because watching the Real Housewives and Tough Love New Orleans while reading US Magazine on the treadmill clearly has a negative impact on how I see myself. And the worst part is that I can’t seem to stop.

I started this 60-Day Get Fit Challenge to kick-start a lifelong healthy living plan. I had no idea it would include a celebrity, Bravo-induced binge. Now what?


~ I got the pic from Let's All Get Fit.


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  • I listen to music on the elliptical. I heart radio or pandora. Type in black eyed peas and I've got enough energizing music to get me thru my workout. I save the us weekly for my trip to the nail salon which doesn't happen more than every other month these days.m

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