The 2012 Presidential election is a pretty big deal. Needless to say, some schmucks and schmuckettes are choosing to stand on the sidelines. Here are the top 10 things I plan on doing to people who I find out didn't vote on Election Day:
10. I'm sending 143 plumbers to your job just to bend over and pick up stuff all day.
9. I'm sending Shirley from "What's Happenin'" to bump with you because you pledged to never do it again.
8. I'll have Buckwheat to your house to serenade you with "Wookin' Pa Nub" for 8 days straight.
7. I'm putting a banana in your tail pipe a la Axel Foley.
6. I'm sending Aunt Esther to personally deliver her own face made gorilla cookies to your door.
5.I'm going to have a special Minny's chocolate pie like the one from "The Help" sent to your home.
4.I'm sending a ratchet female w/ long nails, a chalkboard & a mic outside of your window.
3. I will kindly inform Debo you have a shiny new bike at your house.
2. I'll have someone to hide a pot of old boiled cabbage in your house where no one can find it.
1. I'm sending a family of people with Jheri curls to come sit on your couch for 5 hours.
You've been warned.
Exavier B. Pope, Esq. is an entertainment and sports attorney, media personality, syndicated writer, Fortune 500 speaker and peak performance strategist, author, philanthropist, and sports business and law blogger for ChicagoNow. All opinions expressed are those solely of Mr. Pope.
(c) 2012, Exavier Pope
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