I felt compelled to break with the topic of my posts as of late due to the overwhelming social awkwardness that I've encountered from guys these days. Seriously guys, there are some things you should NEVER say to a woman. I could probably come up with a list that far exceeds 4, but due to time constraints, I'll give you four nuggets that I've endured over the last week (and it's only "hump day")! Oh, and all names have been withheld to protect the identities of the idiotic.
1. "You're so old, your @$$ is sagging...meet me for drinks."
Okay, I don't know what it is with kids these days, but being rude isn't "cute" nor does it make me want to go anywhere with you. It should go without saying, but alas, as this week has pressed on, I think men under the age of oh, say, 40, should get a refresher. Now I fully understand playful teasing, but if I haven't included you in that group of close friends, you should probably play it safe and remain respectful.
2. "Damn! I see you, shawty!"
I'm 35 years old. I'm no one's "shawty". If you want a grown woman to take you seriously, knock it off with the high school vernacular. The. End.
3. "Let's go out for drinks...but I'm not trying to get into your pants. Really!"
File this one under general creepiness. If you're already trying to defend your actions before I even agree to go anywhere with you, chances are, you're subconsciously defending yourself for a reason. I'm honestly not trying to get "too deep" with outright social misfires, but egad! Let's just be terribly honest with each other. Your confidence needs to see some rehab, or there is a reason you're already verbally defending yourself.
4. "I'm attracted to you. Yeah, you can be flattered."
Seriously, when I heard this, I really wanted to reply (in my best Tiny Tim impression), "Oh thank you kind sir! Were it not for your attraction to me, I'd have to go live in a cave somewhere!" Guys! There is a line between confidence and arrogance. Confidence is attractive. Arrogance is NOT attractive. It's very simple math. A man who is humble in the face of his accomplishments (or, attractiveness) is sexy.
I hope this short list of 4 things guys should never say to a woman simplifies a few things for some who may be a little in the dark.
Happy Hump Day!