Have you ever felt like you were sleepwalking through your day or week?
That's the way it's been for me. Once my mother told me she was admitted into the hospital, everything else became a sort of blur. It's kind of sad that it takes something like a serious illness that will cause your priorities to become crystal clear.
I had mentioned in a short blog post a few weeks ago that I had been "going through some thangs" during my mini-hiatus from blogging. These "thangs" mostly centered around guys (it's always about men, isn't it?)
It's honestly rough being a single thirty-something in this day and age. First of all, most men my age are typically married with families...which leaves me either the "dirty old man" crowd, or the "mid-to-late twenty-somethings" pool in order for me to pick my dates from. Usually, I tend to go for the "mid-to-late-twenty-somethings" as the "dirty old men" types are just...well, creepy.
Secondly, I have strong morals...which, in today's American culture, doesn't translate well in dating. Most guys seem to think, "What do you mean you don't want to sleep with me on the first date?! You mean I actually have to treat you with respect!? I don't know how to do THAT! Who wants to do that? What do you mean you respect yourself?!"
Anyway, I'm getting a tad off-topic... Seriously, I could probably write a book on dating, and trust me, I was going to dedicate quite a few posts to what I've been through with these dates.
But does any of that really matter when your mom is in the hospital?
It just makes me a bit disappointed in myself for the fact that I had to experience my mother's hospitalization in order for me to see what's REALLY important.
There is nothing in this life more important than our families. Sure, we all have that one, or two...or three relatives that just plain get on our last nerve...but the bond of family is everything!
This past week while helping my mother stand up just so she can get to the washroom, or while fluffing her pillows to make sure she's comfortable, all my other "problems" just drifted away.
The only thing that matters right now is getting my mom back to being healthy.
I rushed home after work yesterday to grab my car so I can go visit her. Now, I don't know about some of you Chicagoans, but traffic in and around this great city of ours can be absolutely BRU-TAL!
Why did it take me a half-hour to get from Forest Park to Berwyn on Harlem Avenue?
Anyway, so I barely made it out to the hospital before visiting hours were over...thank you traffic!
In spite of traffic however...I received some news-
THE GOOD NEWS:
I was able to spend some time with my mom. She and I watched the Bears lose to the Packers...which was nice to see her happy enough to boo Green Bay. I was happy that her spirits had turned around for the better. My mom told me that she had started looking on the bright side, reminding herself that "All things work together for good for those who love God." She said to me, "Maybe all this is happening so the doctors can catch whatever this is early."
That made me smile.
THE BETTER NEWS:
I spoke with doctor yesterday and he said that the blood work and the CT scans have both come back negative for myeloma!!!
I was so happy! Two tests down...one to go! Today she is scheduled for her bone marrow biopsy to determine conclusively that it is NOT myeloma! I was a tad worried for my mom because I've heard that bone marrow biopsies are extremely painful to the patient. Yet, the doctor who was performing the biopsy said that he would use a bottle of local anesthetic as well as send her off to "la-la-land."
THE DOWNRIGHT CONFUSING NEWS:
I'm happy that so far the tests have come back negative, but at the same time, I can't help but wonder...if it's not the myeloma...then what is it?? Whatever this thing is it's attacking my mother's bones! The doctor told me that she had lesions all over her skeleton. What is making my mom so sick?!
I hope this bone biopsy can give us some answers.
I guess all I can do is wait, hope and pray...and grab another cup of coffee.
This whole situation has left me both emotionally and physically exhausted.