Wanna go to the movies?

Nothing makes me angrier than people who go to movies for their first date.

What exactly does it mean that a guy wants to go to a movie with me? Does that mean he wants to hold my hand? Or does it mean he wants to cut a hole in the bottom of his popcorn and try to get a handy during a chick flick-- that he only wanted to watch in order to try and bring out the needy dependency that exists in 99.9% of girls.

Movies aren't a good "first date" destination. Movies are the places couples go when they run out of things to talk about. If you don't want to listen to your annoying liberal boyfriend talk about his "theories" all night--you take him to a movie so he shuts the hell up.

How do you get to know someone at a movie? If you laugh at the same part..or even worse if he cries at the same part..It's like he's saying that instead of wanting to talk to you he wants to take you into a dimly lit room and stare at a TV, which is probably a good indicator of what the rest of your relationship would be like (assuming you don't put out and he never calls you again).

Essentially going to a movie means that you will have zero conversation and you'll have to deal with him creepily staring over at you in the dark with nothing but the movie screen lighting your face. No one wants to be looked at while they're watching a movie. It's like watching someone experience an orgasm. You shouldn't look at their face because if you don't like what you see, you might as well surrender your relationship and find someone else whose face you don't feel an odd desire to peek at.

All going to a movie does is create a situation where you can maybe hold hands. And let's be honest, in this day and age who wants to just hold hands..but there are those weirdos who go to the movie and make out because they're both 29 and live in their parents basements and have no where else to suck each others' faces off.

Going to a movie only provides ten minutes of post movie conversation, if that. Then you have no choice but to try and act interested in someone, when you're probably not. You're just lonely and you figure it was either a boyfriend or a cat...and well cats need to be fed and taken care of, so the boyfriend was the cheaper choice.

After all this pessimism, I bet you think I can't think of one positive thing about going to the movies on a first date.

A movie on the first date is a great idea when you realize, after the first few minutes of a date, that you want to run straight for the door and probably never talk to the kid again (including deleting him from Facebook).  If you can't stand the person, then sitting through a movie and not having to talk is a dream come true..except for that uncomfortable moment when a foul odor passes through the theater and you're 100% sure that it was him.


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  • Sometimes...and I know this is crazy...couples go to movies to be entertained by a movie.

  • kook indeed. It says right there in the opening sentence of the post, "FIRST DATE". buffoon.

    Hey Christine... well done. That was an impressive read. I come from a very popular Bears football blog here on CN. From time to time a group of regulars (who are very diverse and intelligent) will 'blog bomb' another blog we see on the right hand sidebar there. Mostly... well, up till now it's been pretty much every time... it's been to make fun of the blogger for being shallow, silly, ignorant, or just plain idiotic.

    I have to admit, that I liked reading your post and was impressed with your overall tone. Well done. You sound like one of those rare girls with a bit of guy-sense and good sense of humor. Hard to find. Keep up the good work.

    (Oh, and don't worry if some of my boys show up and get a bit rowdy, they mean well)

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    "Movies are the places couples go when they run out of things to talk about"

    Maybe you just missed that line; I'll give you a pass since I love your "very popular Bears football blog".

    And for the record, I was just messing around w/her-not being critical.


  • In reply to koolking83:

    to-chet kook.

    If you do indeed read our little corner of heaven, then I apologize for the unprovoked attack... It's not often I get to defend a gal blogger. Just don't tell Irish I apologized.

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    Its cool

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