All Dolled up--to work out?

Often times I find myself acting and perhaps looking like someone of the opposite sex (that would be male). College has caused me to grow apathetic towards my appearance. Now, don't get me wrong I'm not troll, but the whole getting dressed up thing is kind of getting old. There are several occasions in which I find myself deserving of an extra appendage. However, there is one atmosphere in particular were I have been feeling extra boy-ish lately..the gym.


Working Out


Now, I don't know where everyone else grew up and how you were taught to exercise, but when I work out I wear baggy basketball shorts and some sort of t-shirt. My boobs are smashed by a sports bra (sometimes two) and I look like I'm twelve again. But some people really get dolled up to go to the gym. They'll have their hair down, tons of make-up on and some form of a sweat shirt they probably over paid for at Victoria's Secret. Not to mention those diamond earrings they put in just for this occasion. They'll have on leggings, which are really getting to know their vagina because they're constantly picking a front wedgie. I always thought the point of working out was so that you look good in real life, not to dress to impress at the gym. I mean how much can you work out with that off-the-shoulder sweatshirt and your hair NOT in a pony tail? You make me laugh. Oh and ps- I can see your thong.


Don't get me wrong I think dressing properly for the gym has a spectrum of possibilities, but leave your fake eyelashes and extensions at home. Girls aren't the only ones who seem to fail at dressing properly for the gym. Men, usually older men, have this idea that it's the 1960's and they are working out in extreme heat, hence they wear skimpy short shorts. Let me tell you an experience I had last year with these "short shorts." I was laying down doing sit-ups, minding my own business, when this elderly fella comes and sits on a machine to my right. As I go down from my sit-up I glance up wards and low-and-behold I caught a glimpse of that old man's sack. Now, what can I do in this like "Excuse me sir, you're scrotum is hanging out and I feel uncomfortable." No of course not. I wonder how many people have stories similar to that and have fallen victim to the old guy with short shorts at the gym.


The next group that doesn't understand how to dress at the gym, and don't even call me racist because we know it's true, are foreign Asians. I don't know if it's because they never really had to work out until they came to America because of our impure food, or if it's because they are working out between class and work and can't wear gym clothes, but why do they always work out in khakis or jeans. It seems like the most uncomfortable thing ever. They'll wear normal "street" shirts and normal wire bras, which I can't imagine being too comfortable. Don't get me wrong, they work out hard, but there has to be a lot of chaffing going on in areas I don't wanna think about.


So next time you go to the gym don't think about the hot guy you might see (because you won't) or the enemy you might run into (you probably will) and just dress how you need to dress to work out. Don't put on a ton of makeup just to sweat it off, assuming you're going to work out and not walk around aimlessly by the weight racks.


Stay Hard Chicago,



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