As a mother, you always wish you could do better or give more, but as a mother of three sets of girls--6 in total--there are times all I feel is extreme regret and remorse. I just wish I could give them more.
I know they feel that way too.
I have one daughter who is naturally gifted and plays the piano by ear and sings just as beautifully as Alicia Keys. I have another daughter who could certainly be a fashion designer. My older daughters rarely, if ever, say anything to me, and when they do, it's either strained or hostile; and my twin 9yr olds are the only two who seem to truly love me. According to the older kids, I think much of their hostility towards me comes from me not being able to do more. What they don't know is that it hurts me beyond what they know.
I come from a family that believes in keeping kids active and engaged. I took ballet classes, gymnastics, tennis, and swimming classes as a kid, but as my girls got older, I just didn't want to take them to park districts like I used to go to and formal training was outside of my budget. This is one of the reasons why I love the Salvation Army Kroc Center on West 119th Street in Chicago because it is a state-of-the-art facility that South Side residents of Chicago can enjoy and afford.
I did take my girls to many places and I know we've done a lot more than others, but since the inception of music videos, cable television, and social media constantly showing others doing things far more exciting than the people sitting hypnotized by the phone, it feels as if it's impossible to compare. Everyone is always doing something better than the next.
It saddens me, but I am getting over it. Looking over my life I realize I truly have done the best I could and when I didn't have beaten myself up long enough and often enough that I have finally come to a place where I can forgive myself.
Investing in children is important and I think people overlook how liberating and freeing reading is. Libraries are still open and a viable option of an adventurous place to take children. But nobody really posts about taking their children to the library and creating a space for them to live vicariously through a character versus comparing themselves to the latest post of someone on Facebook and all other such sites.
I know I may not have done as much as others, but I have done my best with what I have. I will continue to dream big and work to create my dream life so I can invest more in my children, looking forward with expectation to the day we are all reunited and happy as a family again.
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About Me: I'm a wife and mom of six daughters known as "The Fitness Evangelist" because of my ability to take ordinary fitness classes and turn them into worshipful experiences. I have graduate degrees in Writing and Exercise Science and Health Promotion, and I'm also a certified fitness instructor through the Aerobics and Fitness Association of America. I can speak on entrepreneurship because I help people with their health and fitness goals any where in the world through my business with Total Life Changes. For more information about me, you can visit my website at http://elanainspires.com or go directly to my TLC website for product information http://totallifechanges.com/elanainspires. IBO #8154411.