Travel Blogs Suck

It's no secret that I hate travel blogs. I really do. Most of them are geared towards SEO - the dreaded "search engine optimization" in order to game Google in order to get hits. It's not about writing quality content, mind you. It's about page hits and ads.

"So Nick, how do I know that a travel blog isn't to your liking?" Well kind soul, if they have titles like this, odds are they're full of crap and you should avoid them like the plague.

  • “Top 10 Tips On Crossing a Street”
  • “I Have Nothing Worth Sharing But Want Attention”
  • “Top 5 reasons a passport might be handy for international travel”
  • “Top N reasons I’ll give advice on someplace I haven’t actually been.”
  • “Top 10 reasons why what I’m doing is unique and I should be paid to do it, even though it isn’t”
  • “7 Reasons You Should Experience Backpacking in Thailand”
  • “oh, and I can’t actually write, hence I exclusively make lists”
  • “Top N reasons why you should travel to planets with breathable atmospheres”
  • “How I traveled rtw on $0.34 a day and will imply superiority over you unless you do the exact same thing”
  • “How I traveled India trying to find myself and then came home to realize my self was stored in the cupboard the whole time”
  • “Why you should haggle for an hour over a $2 plate of food with your $800 pack on your back”
  • “How I am unique for traveling in this place even though a hostel system’s existence implies I’m not the first to do so”
  • “Top Ways to Save Money: #1 stay at home #2 steal from people #3 keep your job and don’t travel”
  • “How I care about the environment while traveling, ignoring that I took an airplane to get here in the first place”
  • “Whiney song that was on my iPod at the time because I’m too lazy to think up a real title”
  • “how I escaped the corporate world I’m too cool for but will hype any company that offers me $20″
  • “How vagabond, traveler, backpacker, and tourist are different. THIS IS IMPORTANT DAMMIT!!!:
  • Top N reasons why you should quit your job and be like me – but buy my ebook with all my secrets first.
  • “How I worked 6 months in an entry level job and decided I’m too good for the corporate world.”
  • “How I saved $1200 by buying goods and services in a third world country.”
  • “How to use your iPhone in countries that don’t have running water.”
  • “How to pose native people for photos and exploitation.”
  • “Top tips for learning a language. Tip #1: Sit down. Tip #2: Study.”
  • “Top N ways to get upgraded on your flight that none of which actually works.”
  • “Top ways to travel. #1: Fly. #2. Train. #3. Walk.”
  • “How to save money while traveling by occasionally making your own meal.”
  • “Top N reasons why my entry-level elite status on a major airline is awesome.”
  • “My list on products I’m whoring myself out for because I can’t afford it on my own and want it for free.”
  • “Top x generalizations about Americans showing how snobby I really am.”
  • “Top y reasons to visit a certain festival complete with a picture I took off of Flickr that’s not mine.”
  • “Top 8 reasons why you want to take more pictures than less pictures on a trip.”
  • “Top 5 pieces of advice for booking a plane ticket on the internet”
  • “Short travel anecdote loaded with popculture references to show how clever I am.”
  • “my review of a hotel complete with photos used from their marketing department.”
  • “How to run a travel blog and be a snobby bitch at the same time”
  • “Review of my flight on X airline that’s positive because I want another freebie from them in the future.”
  • “RTing a popular news article that I don’t care about regarding something non-travel related so I can get hits”
  • “how I am clever by adding ‘nomad’ or ‘vagabond’ to my blog name.”
  • “a picture of a view from a resort that costs $1000 a night.”

 

Sure, there's a lot of good advice out there, but it's obscured by a lot of no-talent assclowns who douche up the internet. And if you do take their advice, take it with a huge grain of salt.

Happy Thanksgiving travels. Be safe, be kind and use your 3oz bottles to sneak in your favorite booze.

 

 

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  • Okay, I'm seriously cracking up. When I was a backpacker I wore two inch heels because that's just who I am. It literally never occurred to me to wear flat shoes. I need one of these very obvious blogs, apparently!

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