Forget Foursquare! These are the real travel badges!

Forget Foursquare and their stupid badges. Hardcore travelers should be getting real badges to wear because in the midst of the sea of humanity at an airport, we can't always find our fellow breathern with the thousand-yard stares.

Three Quarters of Europe Badge:
There are 50 countries in Europe. Have you been to 38 of them?

Two-Thirds of Africa Badge:
Including the islands off of Africa, there are 53 countries. Time to get crackin'! A mere 38 countries - c'mon - you can do it!

The Stans Badge:
This is only 7 countries: Afghanistan, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Pakistan, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, and Uzbekistan.

The Big Ten Badge:
Russia, Canada, China, US, Brazil, Australia, India, Argentina, Kazakhstan and Sudan. Ten bigass countries.

The Tiny Ten Badge:
They are: The Vatican, Monaco, Nauru, Tuvalu, San Marino, Liechtenstein, Marshall Islands, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Seychelles, and Maldives. Passport stamps from these places are truly awesome.

Century Club:
100 countries. And you have to do it legitimately - not this "counting it if I landed in it and transited through" crap.

Axis of Evil Club:
President Bush declared the "Axis of Evil" as Iran, Iraq and North Korea. Bonus points for being PNG'd out of all 3.

Alphabet Club:
No countries start with an X or W, so you've got to visit at least one country with a different letter of the alphabet.

The "57 States" Club:
Going to all 50 states is so passé, and President Obama knows it. Time to hit the other 7: Puerto Rico, Northern Mariana Islands, US Virgin Islands, American Samoa, Guam, the US Minor Outlying Islands and Washington DC.

Sex on Seven Continents Badge:
Why bother traveling to seven continents and bragging about it when you can brag about the wild hot sex you had in Antarctica? Bonus points if you bring that up in your house of worship or in casual conversation.

Got any other obscure travel clubs? Leave me a note in the comments...

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