"Taking the Lead (Chemistry Lessons)"

Last time I spoke with the women on how to go about “Offering Bait” to the men. This time, fellas, I must talk to us.

Conversation is the key to jumpstart any potential relationship and it must become the way we communicate. You cannot create a foundation without communication.

You can get your “boxers” in a knot if you want to when I say this: Gentlemen, we are stupid!

To the women who are reading this right now, before you gather up your cheering section, understand this one thing. Men are stupid because you allow us to be. Men are players. We play dumb; we will play shy; we will play sick; hell, we’ll play dead if we believe that we can get away with it. We play all of these roles because you allow us to.

Contrary to popular belief, most of us get tired of playing the field. We ask ourselves if a life of drunken nights with random women are in our best interests. Eventually we get lonely and we find ourselves wanting, needing a companion. We don’t want to live alone all of our lives. If a man tells you that bull, ask him about the relationship he has with his mother. There is always that “Number 1 Woman” in our lives. He has effectively put up a wall.

Most of us will play your lover if you let us, but you’ll have to lead us into believing that by loving you we will be led to the promise land.

We (men)want to be led. We (men)yearn for it, but it is time to reverse the trend. We (men) must become the leaders in our relationships. This starts at the conversational stage.

Men it is time to take charge.

We have become indecisive over the years. This is not what our mothers intended for us . They taught us how to treat a woman. They also taught us how to dance, open the doors, pull out chairs and take coats.

Somehow, we have lost our way.

Getting it back is easy. We must avoid a few things. One of those things being our reluctance to recreate ourselves for the woman we want to love.

We also have to avoid these traps; dishonesty and lack of passion. We have to take the lead here as well. We control our fate when we get out in front of those traps.



Women hate liars, men hate telling the truth. This is an inaccurate statement. We all lie, and we all hate telling the truth.

Ladies please let go of the notion that a man must tell you everything upfront. Are you getting married or did you just meet a week or two ago? Why do you want our life story in one conversation? We will never tell you everything, never, not in the beginning at least.

We would rather get inside your panties fast, while offering our history slowly.

Can I get a show of hands to all of the men who found the love of their lives this way. I’ll wait!

Keeping our history private rarely works but you can take the lead by displaying the man that you are.

A woman wants to know about the man that she’s with, and she wants details. As many details as she can get. If you do not want to offer much detail about your past, show her who you are in the present life. She does not need to know that you were a player back in 2008. What she wants to know is if you are willing to show that you can love her. She is led to believe that your history is the way to go. She is wrong. Your history defines who you are today. There is nothing dishonest about that.



Fellas if you don’t like public signs of affection, get over yourself. I rarely come across a woman who dislikes it. You at least have to take the lead and reach for her hand.

Why you ask?

Holding hands is one of the oldest forms of foreplay. It is the gateway drug to hugging, kissing, touching and hmm! You cannot deny a woman that moment. If the timing is right, you will be in position for other things. You might even get more than you originally thought.

It is also okay to kiss the woman on a first date if the opportunity presents itself. She wants to know that you can be romantic with her. That does not mean that you should grope her, just show her that you like her and wait for her to turn down your attempt at a kiss.

Passion can stimulate a relationship. If you are not passionate, you can find yourself by your lonesome. Is that what you want?

Women want passion. They want to be held and led into our arms. Far too long have we ignored them. This cannot continue.


In the end, we all want the same things. We just have different ways to go about getting it. For men, it is all about us taking the lead. We are too busy looking to be led when that is not our role. A good woman will follow her good man as long as they are walking in the same path. Being dishonest will throw off the course. So will a lack of passion. Fellas, let’s be wise and play our parts so that the relationships we want can flourish.

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