Love and lust is an interesting rollercoaster ride, full of ups, downs, twists and turns. When the fireworks are fresh, things get hot and heavy behind closed doors, in the car, park, beach, or wherever the sparks can fly. Things do go through a dry spell from time to time. When the dry spell happens, the B.B. King classic blues tune “The Thrill is Gone” weaves in and out of our minds.
“Thrill is gone, the thrill is gone away. The thrill is gone, baby. The thrill is gone away.”
Now that I have you singing along with me, how many of you fall into this category: Everything about your relationship, marriage, friend with benefits, fuzzy-buddy, etc. starts out with a bang only to fizzle out without warning. Sucks, doesn’t? You have no clue how it happened, what the hell happened, when it happened, all you know is that twinkle in your eye is no more. The sexy went to a galaxy far, far away and you don’t know how to bring it back.
Who took the sexy away?
Was it one of these usual suspects: Work, kids, fatigue, depression, family, guilt? Nothing puts the fireworks out faster than those five things. I have five conventional and unconventional things you can do to tune out the usual suspects and get your groove back.
1. Go Out on a Date:
This is works for the single, the bored and bothered and the “we’ve been together too damn long” couple. Nothing releases tension the way that getting free for a few hours can. This especially works for couples with kids. Find a capable sitter and enjoy a night on the town.
To my couples, stay away from the movies. Going to the movies do not put you in position to “hash out” your frustrations or discuss your desires. My suggestion would be dinner and bowling.
For the bored and bothered, hit a nightspot and have a few strong drinks. Keep your significant other nearby and reminisce when the two of you were wild and crazy like the couple that can’t keep their hands off each other.
If you are single, go on a date by yourself or hang out with a good friend. There is no shame in attending a wine tasting alone or with your confidant. You can peruse the scenery and perhaps find someone of substance.
2. Sing to Your Mate (If You Can Hold a Note):
Let’s say your mate comes home and they are tired. The workday was stressful and they don’t want to be bothered. After they reveal their problems, go to the kitchen, grab a glass of wine and serenade them. This might get you some quality time. Stay away from karaoke, though. You want you mate to be swept off their feet, not rolling on the floor laughing at you. The memories that you want to have after the night are the ones that end with the body chills, and I don't mean from catching a cold.
3. Watch Their Favorite Television Show With Them:
If she likes the soap operas, watch them with her. She will appreciate you showing interest in what she likes. If he watches basketball, join him and spark a conversation about the game. This works because you were able to tolerate these things when you first met. Why is it so different now?
We fall for the “illusion” that since we did all we could to reel that person in, we don’t have to do some of the same things to keep them around. Do not get caught up in this. If you used do what they like then stop, they’ll find or stumble across someone who will do those things eventually.
4. Go Shopping Together and Buy Each Other Things:
It is conventional to surprise your mate with a gift. What is unconventional is that you purchased it while in their presence. You can stir up the imagination depending on what you buy. Buy clothes for each other and while watching their faces as they model for you, hum the Usher tune “There Goes My Baby”. Kiss them afterwards because that shows you desire them.
This seems to be a lost art, but write a love letter, a poem or short story; write something to express how you feel. Make it sexy by adding a fragrance on it. You know the one that they like to smell on you. Top it off by adding purple roses with it. Everyone passes out red roses. It is a tired cliché’. Purple roses represent passion. You would set a tone for the things to come.