“It may be a long time before I find somebody else,” too often does a young woman come my way saying those words. Her head sunk low, eyes sullen from crying. A bad night’s sleep is the character of her body language. She doesn’t know what to do with herself. All she knows, or believes is that everything is her fault and the world is going to because of it.
After a long pause, the tears begin to swirl inside her eyes. She takes a breath then says, “it’s over between me and him.” With her hands shaking like leaves, she wails, “he left me. I was not good enough for him.” She is coming from a place of hurt and she has begun to doubt herself.
This has happened to every woman that I know. In fact, no matter how cold a person claims to be, they have been in this position at least once.
Ask anyone who is over the age of 16 has his or her feelings ever been hurt. The guaranteed answer will be; yes, yes and yes again! Women especially are hurt regularly. Some of them take the pain in stride, for them life goes on. For others, instead of being able to hold their heads up high, slip on the "F-him" dress, they wallow in depression and sorrow. They blame themselves for what went wrong. Their heartbreaker sold them the “illusions” of “always and forever”. The “I will never leave your side” dialogue that sounds nice. It is always the dream of the dreamer to have a love that will stand the test of time. But, when it ends, if it indeed does end, why waste the remaining precious moments holding your head down in shame? Life does go on.
You tried your best and did your part. They did not. You have more good memories than bad, why lose them. Just carry on with your life. Why not go out for a drink with a few of your girlfriends and drown your sorrows? It’s over between you and him, but it’s not over for you.
Take a moment to look in the mirror. Is what you see something that another man could desire? Aren’t you the same beautiful creature you were when the current ex was the newfangled-dangled toy that you wore on your arms along with your Gucci purse? Must I remind you that you still have breath in your lungs and love in your heart? You can love another and you will be loved by someone else, if you let them love you. Did you follow the rules by NOT putting in 100% in the relationship? Even if you gave 99% you still have that vital 1% left to help you pick up the pieces. You also have your friends.
It’s over between you and him, but it’s not over for you. Now let’s sit down and let's have a talk about what went wrong.
…to be continued…