Inspired by a few conversations with friends, and a book I finally got around to reading (The Good and Beautiful God) yesterday and today I drink my coffee sitting in my favorite chair in silence. Just five minutes. No devotional to read, no agenda. Just the idea that God speaks to us when we are quiet enough to listen.
To quiet my mind from worrying about the up coming day and everything I should get done, I thought about a time when I felt God was there for me. It was a specific moment when God intervened and interrupted my dark thoughts. Then out loud (yes, I broke the silence--I never claimed I was good at this), I thanked God for that moment and asked Jesus to be with me in that same way right now. I imagined Jesus sitting down across from me on the ottoman.
And, then it was like seeing a friend who had been away for a long time. The kind of friend that you can tell things that you can't tell anyone else. I told Jesus how I was feeling about every aspect of my life, about my marriage, about trying to start a church,about feeling like things are challenging, but I have to keep a positive spin on things.
About each concern that like a crazy person I spoke out loud to the invisible yet present Jesus, it was like Jesus was saying, "I got it, I'll take care of it." Then as I finished my coffee there was real silence, the peacefully full kind of quiet.
Today those five minutes were quieter. Again, I started by recalling a moment of God's presence with me. This time it was a memory that my mother has passed down to me.
In her recollection I was 1 year-old. Due to my premature birth, my bladder had not properly formed and after a year of constant UTIs and antibiotics, I had an operation to correct the problem. While I was still in pain recovering from the surgery, my mom laid me down on the changing table, and feeling ok. Instead of responding, I pointed up in the air and said, "Man." My mother has always been convinced it was an angel or Jesus.
So, in faith I took that moment as a God moment as well. Sitting in my chair coffee in hand. I pictured myself there as the baby, and Jesus standing right there with me.
Out loud I thanked Jesus for being there with me as a baby, and asked him to be there in the same way today. I felt a presence next to me standing strong, and I began to cry. Just little joyful relieved tears. The rest of my five minutes I rested in this sense of being protected.
I think this is going to become part of my morning routine.
Filed under: Spiritual Reflection