A Sort of Goodbye

Some interesting things happened to me while taking this break. Not only did I turn 41 but I was in an accident on the em . . . very day I turned 41. I was headed toward one of my favorite places in the city, Mojo Spa, for a complimentary birthday manicure. While I was waiting to cross the street a van parallel parked several feet away from me backed up and hit me. I didn't know what hit me as I was paying attention to the traffic, cause you know that's what you do before you cross the street. I thought someone pushed me to the ground. When I got up I was very surprised to see the back end of a van.

A few things certainly saved me. 1. The driver wasn't going very fast. 2. I didn't see it coming and I didn't have the chance to tense up, which could of made things a lot worse. 3. Thank God for the crowd waiting for brunch. The driver didn't know he hit me until this crowd starting yelling. I have one bruise and feel a bit fatigued and sore but otherwise I'm doing remarkably well.

As cliché as it sounds the accident got me thinking about who I am and how I want to spend the rest of my life. The truth is: I'm burnt out. When I think of the approaching holidays it just feels like a Herculean effort to write another post on how to have a gluten-free Thanksgiving. I think the world now has enough gluten-free girls, guys and goddesses.

I also recognize my own limitations. I can easily work 24 hours a day but it's costing me a lot to keep at this pace. I don't know how things are going to unfold but I need to start bringing in the gluten-free bacon. I also want to make time for my art. I notice whenever I have "wasted time" I think to myself, "Oh I could have been painting. That boring party cost me four hours of time in which I could have been painting."

I believe I started on this journey, not only with the blog but also with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, because I needed to heal my own relationship with food. I learned the importance of "primary food" which is the things that feed your soul like your work, spirituality and relationships. "Secondary food" is really just the food you eat. As I have begun to heal I have become less into food and more into my life. I used to plan my trips and special occasions around the food I was going to eat. Now my life is equally as delicious. Food has now found its right place in my life.

Some believe there are no accidents. I have to say in many ways this accident did parallel my life. The driver didn't see me at all. There are so many areas in my life where I feel invisible. I can’t tell you how many times I have fallen in love with men or situations that just “didn’t see me”? I’m still pondering how to be more pure and impactful in the lives of those around me. I also take responsibility as I did not see the van coming. Perhaps if I did I could of moved out of the way. What am I not seeing in my life? Where are my blindspots?

I will still continue to write my other ChicagoNow blog The Eclectic Body. I feel passionate about helping others love their bodies. I will also be doing some guest blogging as I still enjoy the creativity of food. I just need to make time for the other things. I have to say I'm so grateful to have met so many lovely, wonderful and creative people. I will continue to be active on Twitter and Facebook. I also look forward to creating e-books and vlogs. I'm still in the process of incubating a lot of ideas. I've always wanted to put it together: art, writing and food. I'll keep you posted.

 

Filed under: spiritual, workaholic

Tags: body image, goodbye

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