True Confessions: I Miss Eggs
Dear My Former Breakfast Favorite:
It's been over a year since we parted ways and I still think about you. After many years of eating you for breakfast and drinking down egg white protein smoothies I just couldn't tolerate you any more. I thought we were so good together but then I took an IgE test that said I was severely allergic to you. No wonder I always felt tired after I ate you. I didn't realize the effects of you because I often had you in your perfect sunny side up state with coffee. That caffeine totally masked the effects of you. Sometimes when I ate you I would get dizzy and feel like I was getting the flu. I had no idea it was YOU! I just thought I was getting that cold that was going around. I admit that sometimes I'm a fool in love. Dang, I was so blind.
Maybe because Easter is coming up I'm sentimental about you. Lately I miss how easy you were to prepare. You cost a lot less than other protein sources. I respect that you are so humble. I miss getting protein into my diet so effortlessly with you. I know you are seeing a lot of other people. I miss you at diners especially after I've had a little too much wine the night before. You were so good to me then and I really needed you.
Every time I watch Anthony Bourdain eat you on the Travel Channel I miss you a little more. You are the most versatile food ever. I liked you poached, fried, scrambled, or just boiled. I confess I even like you in your raw state. I used to add you "just the way you are" to my protein smoothies. Talk about unconditional love. It breaks my heart that you don't love me too.
I even liked you when you were so cold. I miss that lunchtime classic: The Egg Salad Sandwich (that stoner food favorite). I can't even do the vegan version of that as I'm also allergic to Soy. I will have to send a letter to Soy later. I can only handle one heartbreak at a time. It's so hard to get over you when you are everywhere! You are in cakes (even gluten free cakes), scones, muffins, meatloaf, egg foo young (one of my favorite Chinese dishes), pies, cookies, tarts and meringues.
What am I going to do if I meet the love of my life and he says to me after our third date, "How do you like your eggs?" And I reply, "I'm allergic". Totally ruins the mood.
Now when I bake I replace you with soaked ground flax seeds (BTW Readers here's what you do: replace one egg by measuring 1 TBS flax seed and then grind in coffee blender). It has a similar gelatinous feel like the white more sensitive part of you. Although it lacks your substance. I somehow have managed pretty well but if you ever want to come back the door is still open.