I am Vulnerable

Today's post was inspired by Christie Inge, a fellow health coach and blogger that I have had the good fortune of meeting recently. Her blog, Honoring Health, is a guide to mindful living, intuitive eating and abundant self care. As she says, "Health is about so much more than the calories we've eaten or the miles we've run." I invite you to check out her website as it is rich with a lot of valuable information. Recently Christie wrote a post titled, You May Not Know That . . ." as part of the Self Discovery Word by Word Series which is currently being hosted by Karen C.L. Anderson. The word for November is Vulnerable. The series is intended to get us thinking about ourselves in a new way and exploring our life through words. Bloggers and non bloggers alike are encouraged to participate so be sure to write your entry and email it to Karen by the 16th of November. So here's how mine goes:


You May Not Know That . . . 

I'm dyslexic. I was in the lowest reading class growing up. I can read perfectly now but I struggle with parallel parking. 

I had a growth disorder as a child. I reached adult height by the time I was in the second grade. It's actually a condition called Precocious Puberty. Experts say that this phenomenon is happening more often now because of our toxic environment as well as the extra hormones we get in our dairy products. 

Because of my rapid growth I could not get braces and my teeth pushed forward. I have seriously pointy teeth. I have fangs. I never need those waxy candy fangs at Halloween because I've got my own. I've heard negative and positive comments about my teeth. Once a woman at a cosmetics counter asked me if I was an actress. She said I would make a good witch with my teeth and wild hair. Then again some people tell me they think my teeth are "cute" and to never change them. 

I watched the entire first season of Brett Michael's Rock of Love

I had a Duke of Hazard's Lunch Box.

I have crystals, fairy decks, tarot cards, pendulums, wish boxes and a vast collection of essential oils. I vacillate between complete faith and sometimes not believing in God at all. 

I used to smoke. I quit in 1996 while my mom was recovering from her mastectomy.

I have recovered from a wide variety of eating disorders. I've starved myself, thrown up it up, spit it out, over-exercised, etc. etc. What a waste of my creativity. 

I never really balance my checking account. 

I have ADD and when I'm meditating I think about all the things I have to do or my grocery list. I'm a very eclectic music appreciator. 

My ipod is a place where Scottish Bagpipes and early Madonna co-exist. As well as cheesy 80s music (any John Waite fans?) and Jay Z. Avril Lavigne and Henry Rollins. Boston and Pavarotti. Old School Jazz and Old School Rap. Lady Gaga and Journey. Tibetan Singing Bowls meet Tesla. 

Even though I am an advocate for being "natural" I do have a list of things I would like to fix if I ever won the lottery. Would I really? I don't know but I sure fantasize about it. (i.e removal of sagging skin, butt lift, teeth fixed, hair extensions, scar removal, nose job). 

I'd like to be a housewife. I have more than one apron.

I grew up in a very messy house. My mom was also seriously into Early American decor. We had a butter churner for real. Everything in our house was brown. I wish our house was more like my neighbor's down the street where everything was white and really well organized. We were the brown house, they were the white house.

I have a fascination with jellyfish. I think they are the most exquisitely beautiful animal. They look so vulnerable and fragile but they have been around since the beginning of time. 

I sometimes fantasize about moving to a foreign country where my looks and talents are appreciated. I wish the arts were more appreciated. I wish women with wild curly hair were more appreciated. I've never fit in. I fit out. 

My mom requested that Kansas's Dust in the Wind be played at her funereal. She liked the meaning of the song and the fact that it probably pissed off all the right people. Years later when I saw Old School I had to smile at the fact that they chose that song for a funereal.

I have always had nightmares about quicksand. I guess I saw too many disaster movies in the 70s.

I eat chocolate every day. 

When I was layed off of my corporate job a year and a half ago I was actually relieved that I wasn't in trouble or about to be yelled at. 

I fear that I will as Wayne Dyer says "die with my music still in me". I worry about not having enough time to do all the things I want to do.

We don't have time to do to go into my full version of the After-School Special but I've had to work very very hard for every little kernel of self esteem. 

I think everyone should have a fake funereal before they actually die. When would you ever hear compliments about you on that level? Or share them about someone you love? 

You would never believe the joy that this blog gives me even though I don't have as many readers as some of the other ChicagoNow bloggers. I truly appreciate you! 

I am vulnerable.

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