The following conversation was inspired by this photo:
Shaun White: Mr. DeNiro, I’m like so honored to meet you right now.
Robert DeNiro: Nice to meet you too.
SW: I’m such a huge fan of all your movies. Analyze This, Meet the Parents, Killer Elite…
SW: Yeah, whenever I get nervous before a run at like, the X-Games, I totally stream Meet the Fockers and it calms the chi.
RDN: X-Games, huh. You some kinda….sport guy?
SW: I board.
RDN: Board, huh. Wuddya mean, board?
SW: Board! Like (mimes snowboarding).
RDN: I don’t get it.
SW: Snowboarding, chief!
RDN: Chief? Do I look like a Chief? Do you see me wearing a hat and cooking a rigatoni asparagus quiche?
SW: That’s a chef.
RDN: You some kinda wiseguy?
SW: No. Sorry. No offense, Mr. DeNiro.
RDN: (starts chuckling) No offense! This guy ova here with the no offense. Come’ere you! (RDN grabs SW’s cheeks and gives them a playful slap). If I were offended, you would know that I was offended. I would say that I was offended. Did I say that I was offended?
SW: I think I see some mini hot-dogs over there…
RDN: You gotta red mop sitting right there on the top of your head.
SW: It’s rad.
RDN: Did I say it wasn’t red?
SW: No, I said rad.
RDN: Are you correcting me? Are you saying I said something that I didn’t say? Or that I heard something that you didn’t say? Are you saying that I heard something you said that wasn’t what you said and then asked you about what you didn’t say thinking it was what you said?
RDN: (Smiling) I’m just fuckin wich you!
SW: (Breathes sigh of relief)
(A hot model comes up to Shaun)
Model: Hey Shaun, which after party you going to?
SW: Probably the one at Hyde. I dunno yet.
Model: Text me.
RDN: (smiling and nodding) That’s a good looking woman. Goood looking woman.
SW: Yeah, she’s alright.
RDN: (Pause) You ever eh…(raises an eyebrow)
RDN: You ever eh…(continues to raise eyebrow and rotates neck)
SW: Oh, you mean fucked her?Not…yet.
RDN: Not yet! Not yet! This guy ovahere with the yets! Love this guy. Alright, get the hell outta here. Fucking Carrot Top. Hilarious.
SW: I’m not Carrot Top.
RDN: Are you correcting me?
SW: No sir.
RDN: Good. Now take your props and get the hell outta here.
RDN: (Takes a deep breath and exhales.) New York City.