No, this time he won't be actually running for anything...well other than for VP of the nation. He'll be on stage dressed in a suit that covers his washboard abs and bulging quadriceps -- the same muscular build that allowed him to turn in a "2 hour and 50 minute" marathon time in apparently the only marathon he's ever run in.
Or was it 4 hours?
Well, as all marathon runners know the difference between sub 3 and 4 hour marathon times isn't much. Just the difference between an Olympic athlete and a weekend warrior.
No, this marathon will be an in place race to see who can out....out....I guess out talk the moderator and repeat as much as they can from the first debate between President Obama and Mitt Romney. And this will be the same marathon we've seen over and over and over again. Candidates running for the finish line that is our election day.
There should be some surly facial expressions from crusty Joe Biden, some "we've run the numbers" followed by "it'll take too long to explain" regarding the budget by Paul Ryan, and of course, lots of shout outs to a "Mary-Anne of Duluth, Minnesota" and a "Chris Frederick of Little Rock, Arkansas." They understand exactly what its like to be earning below the poverty line, have 4 kids, be a teacher, have lost a son in the war, have a pre-existing health condition, and be approaching the age when social security should kick in.
I wonder, is it even a question of who is in touch anymore? Do we still believe this line of reasoning? If we do, we are stupid.
For instance, if we wanted one of our teams in Chicago to win the championship, would we care if they were in touch with the average fan? Or, would we be more interested in them coming up with a magic formula involving transactions and money to bring us a Championship? Will New York be upset if the new Brooklyn Nets win the championship now that they have a Russian owner, or did it bother New York Police officers and Fire fighters when Steinbrenner was winning all those rings with the Yankees?
If I were going to need a heart transplant surgery, would I pick my surgeon based on how well he relates to me? To be honest, in that case, I'd choose an alien to perform the surgery if was more highly reputable.
This repetitive campaign tactic of getting to know the middle class, relating to the middle class, fighting for the middle class...are we not annoyed yet? Do we not realize where they sit once they are elected? And, frankly, for them to do an effective job should they be able to relate to people that serve hamburgers, are plumbers, or are schoolteachers? I'm sure they've all eaten a burger, taken a crap, and been to school, but that doesn't make it relatable.
And its not to demean any one of those careers. We need every job we have in this country. The only difference is that we rely much more on jobs in the middle class in our daily lives than we do on the President and Vice President, yet we make them of paramount concern.
We rely on our boss, local restaurants, grocery stores and supermarkets, doctors, and police men much more than we do anyone "running" the country. Yet, I'll never actually know the person running the country, but I'll be expected to have a strong opinion of his track record. I'll know my doctor, and I'll probably think "he seems like a nice guy."
So let's all stop falling feebly for these election cycles. We can decide to be better than that, because we created it in the first place. The billions of dollars that are being spent and invested, the 1,000's of interviews that are being conducted, these are all things that we've told campaigns, magazines, and TV networks through analytics that we want. But we desperately do not need it.
What we need is security. Arguing with your neighbors and fellow middle-classers only heightens our insecurity. Let's all take a breath, get to know our neighbors and townsmen a little better, and let these politicans know we don't need to know each other.