Category: grief

It would have been your 29th birthday...

It’s the day before my sister would have turned 29. I’ve been feeling it all day. It’s a feeling I can’t quite describe. I don’t want to go to bed, because if I do, and I wake up, the day is there. It will even be more than halfway gone in the Netherlands. That’s why... Read more »

Why I was very grumpy packing for my long needed vacation.

Why I was very grumpy packing for my long needed vacation.
Preparing for a great trip should bring someone happiness, you would think. Of course there’s always a bit stress too, but that’s how it should be. Somehow going on a trip just doesn’t make me feel happy today. I was very grumpy, and I had no clue why. Until I starting thinking about why going... Read more »

Mourning my sister, it's so overwhelming.

Today I am finally able to sit down, and write about the grief I have been going through lately. So far, I just couldn’t. I’ve had more grief to endure, I lost my most important aunt, I lost my father-in-law, but it never was this up close and personal. Somehow this grieving process feels different.... Read more »

Mourning because of the elections: my posts reflect the stages of grief I went through.

Yesterday, during the day, I was still expecting Hillary Clinton to win.   Yesterday, when I went to bed at about 11:30pm, I was still hoping that Hillary Clinton would win. I wasn’t exactly rooting for her, but I did know that I was against Trump. During the night I woke up a few times, but... Read more »

What you left behind, three years after you passed away, dear aunt Bep.


One of the art pieces that was hanging in your holistic practice, at your home. From the moment I saw it for the first time, which must have been 1995, because that's the date on there, I adored it.
I never really took the time to read it totally, because it felt like reading something secret. I wasn't sure if you wanted me to read it. I remember walking into your practice room, staring at it. I always found it fascinating. It has your whole life story on it. 
After taking the picture a few hours ago, I asked my husband to see if he could find the name of the artist on it. He immediately found it. I never saw it. 
Of course I googled it, but I always assumed he would be deceased by know, because I remembered you telling me it was an older man who made it for you. 
Well, he wasn't, and I e-mailed him to ask him if he could do me the honor of making a 'horoscoopprent' for me too. 
Hopefully he answers me, and tells me that he can. 
I will put it close to yours and see if there are any similarities between us. 
Actually, I think I already know, but I would like to get that confirmed.
Even with her death being three years ago, I still think about her a lot. She has always been my example and she still is, even though I changed a lot in the last three years. We still talk a lot about her and we have a lot of things hanging and standing in our house... Read more »

About life and death

While I was walking the dogs this morning, I suddenly remembered I wrote something down in my phone , while we were on our way back from the Grand Canyon to Aurora, to the Netherlands. A lot of people probably read this blog post and thought I was losing it. I kind of was.  And... Read more »

Mother's Day, not the greatest day for everyone.

Mother’s Day isn’t a happy day for everyone. I know a lot of people who will struggle on Mother’s Day, that’s why I made this photo message for them: Because I am not sure if everyone will be able to read the small letters in the picture that I made above, here is the text:... Read more »

Today, 2 years ago, I lost the best aunt and friend I could have ever wished for.

Today is exactly 2 years ago that my dearest aunt Bep died. I wrote a blog about her exactly one year ago:I miss you so much, in loving memory of my aunt. I just reread it, and since then a few things have changed. Some feelings are stronger, some aren’t. A few months ago, when someone... Read more »