If Kim Jong Un is Rocket Man, What Songs Apply to Trump?

The president addressed the United Nations yesterday, and to no one’s surprise he often sounded more like Bruce Willis’s character from Die Hard than the actual leader of the free world. The only thing missing was “Yippee Ki-yay Motherfucker” as he disposed of the bad guy.

His speech included a reference to Kim Jong Un as Rocket Man. I don’t know if Trump’s an Elton John fan (that’s a weird combo), but anyone with ears would recognize Rocket Man as one of his tunes.

So if Trump thinks that the North Korean little man is Rocket Man, then what songs should we identify with Trump?

I have a few suggestions.

Let’s start with “You’re the Best Around” by Joe Esposito, from the Karate Kid soundtrack.

Just kidding! I’m not that type of person and this isn’t that type of blog.

Let’s go a different route.

First up: “Sympathy for the Devil” by the Rolling Stones. I suspect he’s the devil, but truth be told, I have no sympathy for him. What are the most apropos lyrics from the song?

He’s a man of wealth and taste? Nah, gold-plated everything disproves that. He rode a tank, held a general’s rank? Nah, he wimped out and avoided combat. Instead, how about this: I stuck around St. Petersburg/ When I saw it was a time for a change.

St. Petersburg. As in Russia. Apropos.

“Loser” by Beck. Do I even have to explain this? Yes? All right. Soy un perdedor/ I’m a loser baby (I’m intentionally leaving out the next line.) But really, have we ever had a bigger loser as a president?

Predator soundtrack. I’m not familiar with this music at all, but if you have any doubt as to whether it’s appropriate for me to include it here, try asking one of the contestants in the Miss USA pageants in the years that Trump owned them, or any of the other women who Trump think it’s okay to grab by the p***y.

“Creep” by Radiohead. While writing this post I thought of “Loser” and it seemed that no single-word title could sum up Trump better than that song. And then I remembered this 90s classic. (Which, by the way, is just about the only Radiohead song I can do. Yes, I know, they’re geniuses, they’re artists, blah, blah, blah. No thanks.)

Pertinent lyrics: I’m a creep/ I’m a weirdo/ What the hell am I doing here?/ I don’t belong here.

“I Fought the Law and the Law Won” by The Bobby Fuller Four. This song is still wishful thinking on my part. The (grand) jury’s still out on this, but I don’t think anyone will be surprised when Robert Mueller reveals what he’s found during his investigation, and it turns out that everything that Trump said wasn’t true about Russia’s influence on our election actually was true.

The Clash did this song, too, but I like the original better. The title provides the pertinent lyrics.

“God’s Gonna Cut You Down” by Johnny Cash. There are many recordings of this folk classic, but Johnny Cash’s version is especially haunting. And if you haven’t watched the video for it, you should do so.

Trump claims to be religious, but anyone who thinks his claim isn’t just a way to appeal to his base but a genuine belief is a fool. He’s an entertainer. A snake oil salesman. He knows what his supporters like, so he becomes that.

Pertinent lyrics from this song: You can run on for a long time/ Run on for a long time/ Run on for a long time/ Sooner or later God'll cut you down/ Sooner or later God’ll cut you down

Although I can associate these songs with Trump, there’s only one song that actually is associated with him right now: Hail to the Chief. And as much as I hate to say it, one line from the little-known lyrics to the song actually are Trump-esque: Yours is the aim to make this grand country grander.

However, the very next line makes it clear that the song doesn’t apply to Trump: This you will do, that is our strong, firm belief.

Now, where do I find songs about impeachment?

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