I Created New Pokemon for My Son's Birthday

My oldest son turned thirteen years old yesterday. He’s one of my favorite people in the world. He’s got a sharp mind, kind soul, and is quick to laugh. But one of his best qualities is his excitability.

The kid likes what he likes, and if you spent ten minutes with him you’d know what he likes and you’d see his passion for it. One of the things that he likes most is Pokemon. He’s been deep into it for years, and shows no signs of letting up.

He’s got Pokemon video games, trading cards, and figures. He’s drawn Pokemon, created them from perler beads, and even eaten pizzas with pepperoni arranged to look like a Poke Ball.

In case you’ve never taken the deep dive into the Pokeverse, let me explain. Pokemon are characters in a video game and card game, and they have special powers. There are hundreds of them and the object of the game is to create your own team by choosing Pokemon that complement each other and will do battle against another player’s team by using special powers such as fireballs, smashes, floods, and other things that I don’t understand.

There are hundreds of Pokemon, and my son knows them all. Even if you don’t know anything about the game it’s fun to sit down with him and quiz him and marvel at how much he’s memorized.

I sometimes makeup Pokemon names to make him think that he doesn’t know them all. I can’t tell if this amuses him or annoys him. Often he rolls his eyes, says, “No, that doesn’t exist,” and then keeps on talking.

So in honor of his birthday I’ve decided to create some Pokemon based on my son’s personality. I can’t draw, so we’ll have to stick with verbal descriptions rather than visual representations.

Sleepamore—This Pokemon has a special power that he uses to make sleep more efficient. Ben often stays up late and wakes up early on days he doesn’t have school so he can maximize his gaming/drawing/hanging out time. Sleepamore would let him get ten hours of sleep in just six hours.

Maxcacopun—This Pokemon is the king of bad puns. (My younger son’s root word studies at school have taught me that caco means bad.) My son comes up with puns as easily as most people breathe. He came up with my favorite ever last fall when we were in a corn maze with his siblings. One of us joked that we were just going to trample over the corn to get out, and someone else said that we shouldn’t because it would be illegal. Without missing a beat my son said, “What are you going to do? Call the cobs on me?” Genius.

Muteanote—This Pokemon might turn out to be his favorite. Whenever a song came on the radio that he didn’t like, and one of his siblings refused to turn it off, he could employ Muteanote to end the cacophony. (Bad sound. Thank you fifth grade.) There’s already a Pokemon called Mewtwo, so I like that Muteanote has a similar ring to it.

Vaultexcite—This Pokemon might be the most useful Pokemon ever created for the entire world. She has the power to corral my son’s excitement and store it for later use. Perhaps when things get a bit too humdrum, others can tap into the vault and get some excitement for themselves. And believe me, there’s no excitement that can match a kid’s excitement on a snow day, or opening birthday presents, or smelling his favorite meal cooking for dinner!

Everfloat—This Pokemon never leaves the water. Ever. On a summer day at the beach everyone else will be out of the water, discussing where to have dinner, having had their fill of water, sand, and sun, but Everfloat remains in the lake, perhaps floating on a boogie board, unwilling to end the fun until he has no other choice. Sounds like a kid I know.

I suspect my son won’t find these Pokemon in the Pokedex (directory of all Pokemon) any time soon, but that doesn’t matter. It’ll give me a few go-to names when trying to stump him before he tells me, “Better luck next time!”

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