Archive for December 2016

How To Get Your Hatchimal to Work

I’d love to know how toys become popular. Not just popular, but must-haves. Actually, not even just must-haves. I want to know how they rise to the level of “I’ll stand outside for three hours before the store even opens just in case one came in on the delivery truck overnight.” This year’s must-have—in addition... Read more »

I Don't Worry About Being Kidnapped Anymore

I’ve written before about the time my parents thought I was kidnapped. It was around 1985, when I was seven, and it involved a clown. Stephen King’s It wouldn’t come out and transform clowns from friendly, creative characters into menacing murderers for another year. But my friend Sam and I were plenty scared of that... Read more »

Money Can't Buy What We Want the Most

In May of 1998 I was in the middle of an Elvis Presley obsession, so I went to Graceland. Everything about the place seemed awesome to me, from the giant Corinthian columns out front, to the purple and yellow room with three televisions built into the wall, to the big man’s grave out back. But... Read more »

True Horror of Gun Violence in Russian Ambassador Assassination Photos

The picture accosted me without warning from my Facebook feed. It looked like a scene from some idiotic action film. A man in a suit sprawled on the floor, flat on his back. Next to him another man in a suit wielded a gun pointed at the ground. People in the distance scattered for cover.... Read more »

Thinking of the Sandy Hook Victims Four Years Later

Yesterday I read an article about a study in Japan that determined that eating ice cream for breakfast may increase mental sharpness and response time. Regardless of the study’s validity, I thought it would be fun to surprise my kids with ice cream for breakfast. I imagined the stunned look on their faces when they... Read more »

Tips to Make Your Sledding Experience More Fun

I checked the weather forecast for Chicago and saw that the high on Thursday is supposed to be seven degrees. And, oh, by the way, winter doesn’t begin for another six days after that. Mother Nature—cruel, demented lass that she is—graced us this past weekend with a preview of what’s to come: snow. Days and... Read more »