Trumpists Punish Starbucks By Giving Them Money

America is nothing if not a land of protests. In a country as diverse as our there’s always bound to be some group that’s unhappy, and thanks to the Constitution those unhappy people have the right to assemble peacefully and state their grievances.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but for the most part, any major change in this country began, or was forced, by protests. I’ve mentioned before one of my favorite quotes ever, by Margaret Mead: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”

I love that so much. Power to the people, indeed.

The latest protest in the news involves Donald Trump and Starbucks. Apparently, a Trump supporter went into a Starbucks and told them his name was Trump, and the person serving him refused to acknowledge that and put Trump on his cup. Of course, this dude was filming the interaction, and posted it to social media where the video took off.

Then, some well-meaning souls decided to take up the cause and order their own Starbucks and say their name was Trump, too. Unsuspecting baristas would have to write Trump on the cup, and when the order was ready they’d call out “Trump!”

Those crazy protestors! They’re getting Trump’s name written on cups. AND they’re making those bleeding-heart baristas say Trump’s name. Boy, they really know how to punish Starbucks for their CEO’s opposition to Trump.

Just to recap: Trump supporters are protesting Starbucks by giving Starbucks money, and then taking pictures of their cups and posting them on social media, giving Starbucks additional free advertising.

If this were a plan devised by some savvy Starbucks advertising executive it would be the most impressive thing ever.

That’s not the case though. Instead, this is some Trump supporters’ idea of how a protest works. Perhaps that’s why they were so upset at Clinton supporters holding protests after the election: they don’t understand what a protest is.

This anti-boycott of Starbucks is even more interesting after the confusion earlier this week over Pepsi. A fake news story on Facebook (who could have ever imagined such a thing?) claimed that the Pepsi CEO said some bad things about Trump, so it called on all Trump supporters to boycott Pepsi.

I had a good time reading the Facebook posts of indignant Trump supporters who claimed they’d never drink Pepsi again. Some of them claimed not to even like Coke, but that now, even though Coke was gross, they’d much rather drink that then Pepsi.

At least they’re consistent in their “reasoning.”

Turns out that the Pepsi CEO didn’t say anything about Trump, making the boycott silly and useless. I don’t know if Pepsi was sweatin’ it anyway. They’re already the number two soft drink company in the U.S., and I doubt they worry too much about falling behind RC.

Anyway, I’m rather amused at the trouble Trumpists are having at putting together a decent protest. It’s probably a good thing though. They’d look awfully hypocritical if they were to actually arrange a protest after making such a big deal over the whiny, everybody-gets-a-trophy brats who took to the streets after the candidate who won the most votes didn’t win the election.

Perhaps victory caught Trumpists by surprise, too. They were all ready for armed insurrection—they had their muskets ready, by God!—if Hillary “stole” the “rigged” election. Then a funny thing happened: their guy won. And now, instead of taking their country back through the barrel of a gun, they discovered that they could take it back through voter suppression and rules written 220 years ago by men who governed a vastly different country.

The need for working out their trigger fingers and pumping some hot lead into some wimpy liberals evaporated, so now they’re left to protesting a company by giving it money.

Makes sense. I mean the company is named StarBUCKS.

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