Archive for March 2015

Do You Know Where Your Dog's Tongue Has Been?

I should start by saying that I don’t own a dog. In fact, I don’t have any pets, unless you count the opossum that visits our recycling bins a few times every summer. So maybe I just don’t get it. However, I have owned a few cats in my life. I liked them. I even... Read more »

Keep Your 'No Regrets' to Yourself

Regret can be tricky. I suspect that has to do with the whole issue of time. We’re here on Earth for a few years and then we’re not. This moment will never return. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. This is the part where we turn to Cher for wisdom. Her song “If I Could Turn... Read more »

SB101: Indiana's Shameful Discrimination Bill

A soldier returns from war. He has just served his fifth tour of duty in some far off land and has been away from his family for more than a year, just on this deployment alone. He’s never seen his six-month-old baby. His four-year-old barely remembers spending time with him. All is well now though.... Read more »

George Zimmerman's Video Interview is Like a Horror Film

Dear Georgie, You remind me of Jason from those Friday the 13th films. As far as I know you haven’t had an axe bashed into your head, or been tied to a boulder on the bed of a lake, or frozen to death in a cryonics chamber, or even been killed in a setup by... Read more »

Hey Idiots, Thanks for Ruining my NCAA Bracket

Thanks for nothing, Harvard. I was counting on you and you let me down. I had big things in store for you. After beating North Carolina you were going to win a couple of more games and even take down the number one seed in your region, Wisconsin. Instead, you lost. Losers. Sure you fought... Read more »

Why Your Neighbor's House is Cleaner than Yours

The other night a friend somewhat unexpectedly dropped by late at night. As I answered the door, my wife and I kicked some shoes out of the way, threw some jackets into a closet, and closed the door to hide the mess. “Just cleaning up a little,” my wife told my friend. “It doesn’t have... Read more »

The Truth About The A-Team Van Changed my Life

I defy you to name a better cast of characters than those from The A-Team television series back in the 1980s. If you’ve never seen The A-Team, then I suggest you stop reading, secure season one on DVD, and get ready to be amazed. I don’t think that’s what the A in A-Team stands for,... Read more »

Your Perfume Stinks

Years before I began making bad decisions about food in restaurants, such as eating buffalo wings from a stranger’s plate, I made a bad decision about some food in a grocery store where I worked during high school. I worked most evenings, and one night I hung around for a little bit after we closed... Read more »

Donna Day: We Can Beat Childhood Cancer

You know how you crack open your kid’s bedroom door late at night, and peek in just to check on them, and then breathe a silent sigh of relief when you see them lying there, chest moving up and down with every breath, and know that they’re just fine? Or the joy you feel when... Read more »

Indiana's Sunday Alcohol Ban Should End

Here’s a way to entertain yourself if you’re bored on a Sunday afternoon. Go to a grocery store that sells alcohol and wander around until you find someone with some beer or wine in their cart. Then go up to them and tell them that Indiana prohibits alcohol sales on Sunday. Then wait. First they’ll... Read more »