These Things Happened on Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! If you’re taking time away from your family and friends to read this, then I demand you walk away and go spend time with loved ones. I don’t have anything interesting to say anyway. In fact, if I wasn’t trying to post every single day for this dumb National Blog Posting Month, I... Read more »

It's Thanksgiving, Not Turkey Day

Perhaps it’s contradictory to the spirit of Thanksgiving, but every time I hear someone say “Happy Turkey Day!” I want to punch them in the gizzard. Newsflash: the name of the holiday is Thanksgiving, not Turkey Day. In fact, turkey wasn’t even the centerpiece of the meal at the first Thanksgiving, so cool it. Also,... Read more »

Zenithichron, A New Holiday to Celebrate Summer

August is begging for a holiday. The weather’s always nice, it’s 31 days long, and it’s smack dab in the middle of one of the longest holiday dry streaks of the year. By my calculations, there are only two months—June and August—that don’t have a holiday of their own. Unless you count Flag Day, which... Read more »
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I Wish I Could Live my Kids' Dreams

I think that most of the world’s problems would probably go away if we could remember what it’s like to be a child. A child doesn’t know they’re supposed to hate. A child doesn’t know there are limitations on what they can do in their life. A child doesn’t know there are bad people in... Read more »

Hey Kids, Michelle Obama Didn't Make your School Lunch

It’s been about nineteen years since I was in high school, but things appear to have changed a little bit since then. When I was in school we just had regular women as our lunch ladies. Now, apparently, the First Lady of the United States prepares school lunches. That must be what the recent #ThanksMichelleObama... Read more »

How Did I Become a Beer Snob?

I was the rare high school student who literally never had even one drop of alcohol. I’m talking nothing. No beer with friends, no quick swig from a bottle of vodka, not even a taste of Purple Passion. Nothing. I didn’t start drinking until I turned twenty-one, and even then I didn’t really like the... Read more »
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The Red Cross Really Wants my Blood

I wish the American Red Cross would quit calling me. They’re like that dude you were friends with twenty years ago just because he didn’t have any other friends, but he still calls just to let you know he’s still around. “Oh, and by the way, if you’re not doing anything two weeks from Tuesday... Read more »

Turkey Facts to Amaze Your Guests

Lately I’ve been thinking about Thanksgiving pretty much non-stop. With the help of my four-year-old daughter, I’ve already baked and frozen some dinner rolls, my wife and I have discussed the menu, and I’m watching my calories so I can have some guilt-free revelry next week. I can practically already taste the sweet potatoes, stuffing,... Read more »

The President's Immigration Actions, and Our Response to Them

Immigration has been a difficult subject in the United States for a long time. Even before 1776 there were endless questions of how to protect borders. Just ask the Native Americans. Over the past few hundred years we’ve had various laws designed to limit immigration of a variety of people. Among them: Chinese, Southern Europeans,... Read more »
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Ladies and Gentlemen, Dick Cavett

Dick Cavett turns seventy-eight today. Unfortunately, that means that most people my age and younger probably don’t know him and his work, since it’s been forty years since the heyday of The Dick Cavett Show. He did host variants of his original show over the ensuing thirty years, but it’s the first show for which... Read more »
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    Mid-thirties, wonderfully happily married guy with four kids and a lot to say. Fan of: Cubs, Pearl Jam, traveling, movies, books, history, and blogs. And peanuts.

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