I've been wearing hijab for a month now and, for the most part, it has been kind of tough. And I'm not talking about all the side-eyes and weird passive aggressive crap from the alleged Christians in my life either. (Oh - and Jesus just texted me about this too and said y'all are ridiculous.)
I'm talking about how I am proud to stand in solidarity with my Muslim sisters by wearing hijab...but then I'm ripping the damn thing off my head as soon as I get home. I do not have my hijab game down yet. I have had issues with my hairline showing too much, with the scarf slipping around, with stabbing my earlobes when trying to pin it on and - most irritating of all - with the way it would kind of move when I would turn my head. With this last one, when I would take off the scarf, I would have a static "fuzzy" look because the fabric had been rubbing around on the top of my head. And yes, obviously, these are all first world, white lady wahm-bulance problems because - right - no one is making me do this.
The under scarf came into my life.
So a big part of my February has been to check out the beautiful Muslim ladies who shop at our local grocery store. I'm looking at how they wrap their scarves (so elegantly), looking to see if their pins are showing (they're not), looking to see if there are issues with their purse straps hitting the scarf ends on their shoulders (never seems to be a problem), looking to see if they are in danger of it slipping sideways (of course not).
I'm looking at these ladies and feeling like I'm a twelve-year-old girl who does not have a clue. I'm half a step away from making other twelve-year-old girl mistakes, like wearing turquoise mascara or peg rolling my jeans again. The struggle: it's real, friends.
As part of these I'm-looking-at-her-wait-no-I'm-not-because-I-don't-want-her-to-think-I'm-a-creeper! observations, I finally figured out that the under scarf seemed pretty important. Important: as in, everyone on the South Side was wearing one except for me. Even the little girls.
I finally ordered one from Amazon and it arrived today. I couldn't believe the size. It's smaller than a handkerchief and fits snugly around my head. And it feels SO NICE. I was happy just having it on without the "real" scarf over it. I mean, we're talking a big "aaaah!" moment when I put it on.
The best part was that, after we got home from our yadda-yadda tonight, I forgot I had it on. I probably had on both layers at home for over an hour before I remembered that I could take them off.
Mom Life Note: I took my "hooray, I have an under scarf!" pic in the bathroom. See the towel rod? I had to lock myself in there. Mr. Sass was chattering away about dinosaurs versus prehistoric beasts' death matches and who did I think would win...mother of pearl, we have been talking about this for four days straight now...Jesus just kill me now, please...and I needed to go hide in the bathroom for a few moments. Anyone else with me on this life?
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