By now you have heard the news. Scientists are expected to release the first picture of a black hole, the incredibly dense spots in the universe with so much sucking gravity nothing can escape their pull. Einstein's relativity theories predicted them, Hollywood made films about them, and Soundgarden sang grunge songs about them. We know that if you travel past a black hole's "event horizon" there is no way back. But until now, we have never seen one.
That is about to change. The pictures are expected to show us Black Hole Sagittarius A, 26,000 light years away, virtually a next door neighbor in space-time measurement. It's just a mere moment or two at warp speed, Mr. Sulu.
We are all tingling with anticipation. No one knows exactly what that hole in the universe will look like...or what has been sucked into Sagittarius A's massive maw.
In an effort to solve this mystery, I emulated Professor Einstein and did my first ever thought experiment. After some deep introspection, I can predict 10 items that will be found at the bottom of the Sag A, things we thought were gone forever.
10 Things at the Bottom of Sagittarius A
- The hosts of the last 10 Oscar telecasts.
- The polar ice caps.
- Merrick Garland's Supreme Court Nomination.
- The Chicago Cubs 2017 and 2018 baseball seasons.
- The last 15 Chicago White Sox baseball seasons.
- North Korea's denuclearization plan.
- Aunt Becky's Mother of the Year Award.
- Harvey Weinstein.
- Fourteen recently excused Cabinet Secretaries and members of senior White House staff.
- Rahm and Toni.
I am sure there will be more, but my thought experiment cap has burned out. We will just have to wait to see what all those scientists find.
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