You won't see these headlines in your morning news feed any time soon.
- Archer Arrows Kill 10 in Crowded Club
- Crazed Slingshotter Stones 15 on School Playground
- Upset Jockey Whips Seven to Death in Paddock
- Frenzied Fencer Fatally Fragments Five
- Neo-Nazi Lumberjack Axes Four to Death at Rally
- Slighted Sumo Wrestler Stomps Eight
- Ancient Mace used in Mass Murder
- Crowbar Criminal Kills Nine
- Former Spy Wielding Poison Tipped Umbrella Kills 17 at Festival
- Beleaguered Butler Bashes Seven at Gala Dinner
And one headline that never seems to go away
Mass Shooting in (fill in the blank). (Pick your number) Dead
Isn't it time we do something about it?
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