10 Ways Neil Diamond Should Sell Out--Can You Guess Number Nine?

neil-diamondDid it make you laugh? The first time you saw the Hyundai TV commercial using  "Sweet Caroline" to sell Sonatas? It suddenly seemed as if it were everywhere. The bum-bum-bum sing-along between the guy and gal commuters  ranked as the most frequently viewed car commercial for a week over the summer. And audiophiles like me know that there's a radio version too. Much to Barb's delight Neil Diamond was back in our lives.

So with a song catalog that stretches back over 50 years, I thought I would give some thought to how Barb's favorite singer-songwriter could cash in on a few more of his hits. Here are 10 for his consideration:

  1. Chicago Tourism can link in with The Last Picasso. The last Picasso may be in some old museum, but we have our own rusting in Daley Plaza.
  2. Kentucky Bourbon and Kentucky Women. A match made in whiskey heaven.
  3. Nature Valley should be pushing product using Crunchy Granola Suite.
  4. Joel Osteen and Rick Warren can battle it out over the rights to Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show. They can afford it.
  5. Red Red Wine will make Gallo fine.
  6. And while we're drinking, Cracklin' Rosie will fill the bill for Aldi's $9 a bottle Rosé award winner.
  7. In concert Diamond likes to show a video of his youth while he sings Brooklyn Roads. Sell the rights and let all the roads lead to The Barclays Center and the Brooklyn Nets. Grab some of that NBA cash, Neil.
  8. And how about  September Morn for the beginning of the NFL season? You've got more fans than Hank Williams Jr., and we all need Sunday Morning Football.
  9. President Trump might like the rights to Coming to America. "On the boats and on the planes, they're coming to America--that's because I built my wall and they can't get here by land."
  10. And of course, Levi's will pay whatever it takes to have the world Forever in Blue Jeans, even if it's mostly those funky dad jeans now.

If some of these are a stretch, at least none are quite as much of a grab as the Cherry Cherry Christmas song from a few years ago; the one with the "Holly Holy, Rocky Rolly" lyrics where you wedged in as many of your own songs as you could. As one nice Jewish boy to another, all I can say is oy vey.


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