10 Differences between Chicago's Lollapalooza and Donald Trump's Trumpapalooza

trumpapaloozaIt's that time of year. Beginning tomorrow, Chicago will once again host Lollapalooza, one of the countries largest annual music festivals. Four days of music, sun, and traffic jams. In the meantime, Washington DC, continues to host the nation's other ongoing source of entertainment, as the Trump administration lurches along from one calamity to the next. So how do the two compare?


  1. Lollapalooza loves coming to Chicago every year.

Trumpapalooza wants to “send in the Feds” to Chicago.


  1. Perry Ferrell, the Lollapalooza organizer, played in “Jane’s Addiction.”

John Kelly, the Trumpapalooza Chief of Staff, played in “The United States Marine Corp.”


  1. Lollapalooza brings in new acts every year.

Trumpapalooza brings in new players every week.


  1. According to Maxim Magazine, Lollapalooza attendees are looking for sex with partners.

According to now vanquished Anthony Scaramucci, members of the team Trumpapalooza are  looking for sex with themselves.


  1. Lollapalooza bands play at lots of aftershows that come as a surprise

Trumpapalooza players leak lots of news that comes as a surprise.


  1. Lollapalooza tickets sell out in about 30 seconds and everybody shows up.

Trumpapalooza claimed the Innauguration had the biggest crowd in history, but nobody showed up.


  1. Lollapalooza wants to bring in people from all over the world.

Trumpapalooza likes to keep things home grown.


  1. Lots of people at Lollapalooza will be on drugs.

Everyone in the Trumpapalooza administration seems to be on drugs.


  1. Lollapalooza headliners include "Arcade Fire" and "Lourde."

The President of Trumpapalooza loves to fire people and thinks he IS the Lord.


  1. If we are good boys and girls Lollapalooza will be back next year.

If we are good boys and girls Trumpapalooza will be gone by next year


I'll stick to Lolla--even though I hate crowds! What about you?

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