Can President Trump Follow These 10 Commandments?

mosesToday marks four weeks since E-Day, the most startling election in my lifetime, surpassing even my surprise loss in a youth group election in 1970. The pollsters had that one wrong too.

My loss had very little consequence, Mr. Trump's victory has all the consequence in the world. I have not been reassured in these past 28 days, as I hear, see, and read less and less that convinces me of the stability I seek as I enter my pre-Medicare years. What would make me a little more sanguine? I know the President Elect (can I call him the PEPOTUS?) likes pledges, maybe I could ask him to sign the following declaration--and yes, my dear Republican friends, I would have expected the same from Hillary.

I, PRESIDENT ELECT DONALD TRUMP, DO SWEAR THAT:

  1. In order to defend the Constitution, I will actually read it, or at least listen to the audiobook while jetting around the country/world.

  2. I will treat electronic communications with due diligence. I will not install a private server in my office. Anyway, who needs a server when you have a Twitter Account?

  3. I recognize that while business is business, being President is NOT business as usual. There are goals and objectives beyond making the most money, having the most property, and having the highest rated TV show. Also, bankruptcy is NOT an option.

  4. I love my family. For the next four years I have committed to love my country more. If I don't like that order, I never should have run for this office.

  5. I love to keep them guessing, However, I realize this is not the best way to deal with foreign leaders who have devices that can wipe out civilization in less time than it takes me to comb my hair.

  6. For every wall I build, I will also build a bridge. And in honor of Governor Palin, my bridges will lead somewhere.

  7. I will work with Congress, even though I can't understand why the Democrats re-elected that crazy Pelosi woman as Minority Leader. California can't fall into the sea fast enough for me.

  8. I will stop talking about illegal voters. In fact, I will stop making things up entirely. But what will happen to my Twitter account?

  9. I won't put my Presidential election opponent in jail. Yes, Ms Stein, this mean you. But I think your recounts should be illegal. I won.

  10. I swear to be President of all the people, all the time. So help me God.

    As it is written, so shall it be.

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