Divorced and Dating? What is Their Divorce Style?

Divorced and dating--do you know what their divorce style is?

Divorced and dating? Although Valentine’s Day is but a distant memory now that tax season is full on, a thought occurred to me: Do you know the “divorce style” of the guy [or woman] you are dating?  It is Saturday night, date night!

If you are divorced or single and in the dating market, you are sure to meet other singles who are divorced. If you are getting serious and thinking of exchanging credit reports, there is another item of info you need to know: his/her divorce style.

For example, are you dating someone who is constantly litigating against his former spouse? Does he blame the other person for the failed marriage and/or the constant litigation? Gently ask questions to find out. Also have you examined your part in your divorce? What would you say to the person you are dating?

Well, then, before you go further in the relationship, may I suggest that you do a little research of your own to validate or confirm that the reason your lover is litigating is for good cause. If there have been trials [extremely rare, but two in my case], consider going to the courthouse and read the file. Divorce records are public documents. A recent Chicago Tribune article* discusses how rare it is to have a sealed court case.  Judges are human, but they often see things from a more objective viewpoint. Read the briefs, orders and opinions in the files.  Is the person you are dating overly aggressive in these proceedings?

Are you dating someone, who is constantly taking his former spouse back to court? Do you want to be dating someone who does that to another person?

You can tell a lot about someone when you know how he (or she) has handled divorce. Don’t pass up the opportunity to find out.

*The judge cited in the article, Judge Jacobius, is the presiding judge over my second trial, which like the first trial, lasted 19 days!

If you know someone going through a divorce, forward this post to them!





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    I filed for a divorce in 2003. I had no idea that ELEVEN years on, that I would still be in divorce-related litigation. There have been two trials, an appellate court decision affirming the original trial decision, numerous other hearings, depositions and more. A second appellate court decision is pending. I write mostly from the woman's point of view. Or rather, the spouse who stayed home and raised the children, the one who gave up a career. When first married, I worked as a law librarian and do have a law degree but never practiced. Having that law degree has given me insights into the often mysterious ways of the legal system, especially in Cook County. Recently I have reactivated my law license, became an Enrolled Agent [a license given by the IRS after taking a series of tests] and prepare tax returns. Please share your experiences or ask me questions. Email me at divorcechicagostyle@gmail.com Follow me on Twitter for articles and and news about Illinois Appellate Court divorce related decisions.

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