Education News From The Onion

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Weird Kid Shines During Dissection Project:
Hollis' crooked glasses and musty odor were all but forgotten as he
briefly transcended his social awkwardness in a recent dazzling display
of frog dissection....Area Man Lives Vicariously Through Son's Bully: Mike Zerbe, 39, father of bullied son Timmy Zerbe, 8, expressed avid interest in the fighting stance and other qualities ...Majority Of Parents Abuse Children, Children Report:
"My parents force me to finish my math homework before letting me watch
TV," admitted "Derek," 10, a study participant and abuse victim...Gap Unveils New 'For Kids By Kids' Clothing Line: Brian Scott reports on a popular new Gap clothing line hand-sewn by children overseas.

Plus a couple of Chicago headlines: This American Life Completes Documentation Of Liberal, Upper-Middle-Class Existence:  Producers
have documented every single existential crisis or self-congratulatory
epiphany that has been or could be experienced by a left-leaning
agnostic....Mayor Daley's Son Appointed Head Of Illinois Nepotist Party: Mere
weeks after his unusual mid-March graduation from Northwestern
University's School of Law, Shaun Daley, son of Chicago mayor...

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