Ask a Mexican!

15askamexican
As readers of my other site know, I'm a big fan of the Orange County Weekly column "Ask a Mexican!," in which gabachos (aka gringos) like me can ask their ridiculous and sometimes offensive questions about what is now the city's biggest minority group -- and get seemingly reasonable, informed answers. 

It's not for the easily offended, however.  This week's installment asks among other things why Mexicans "always" cut in line and why dark-skinned Mexicans aren't always very nice to their lighter-skinned guero neighbors

Dear Mexican,

Why do Mexicans always find the need to cut in line? I see this happening in la carniceria, the airport and everywhere else there are Mexicans.
A Disappointed Mexicana

Although I have great empathy for the plight of illegal aliens and their families, their illegal cutting in line ahead of others has resulted in depriving other law-abiding families waiting to legally immigrate from the same entitlements, opportunities and citizenship they so righteously and aggressively defend. At its core, it just isnt right and cannot be justified with hard work or innocent children. My wifes brothers and sisters live in near poverty in the Philippines, but theyre waiting so they can become LEGAL immigrants.
Waiting and Waiting

Dear Wab and Gabacho,
I get this question asked every week, so to Disappointed, Waiting and all other curious minds: grow some huevos. Mexicans cut in line not because theyre rude but because they have lives to live and places to go. Disappointed: Are you going to patiently stand there like a pendeja as Mexican after Mexican cuts in front of you? Do what Mexicans do: cut in front of them. Or at least slash their tires afterward.

And Waiting: lets be realistic. The only reason Mexicans come into this country illegally is because its easy for themjust one hopped border and youre here. If the Philippines werent thousands of miles away, your impoverished in-laws would swim over faster than Mark Spitz. Why wait years and years just because its the right way? Waiting to immigrate legally wont calm those hunger pangs. Besides, entering America illegally, agitating for rights and watching as a foreign government grants you recognition under pressure isnt a sin: its called the Declaration of Independence.

Im a Mexican gero: light-skinned, green-eyed and blond/brown-haired. I experience more racism from my own people than gabachos. Why so much hate toward Mexican geros by my darker-skinned raza? Do I remind the pinches indios too much of their Spanish conquerors? Are they just jealous that their horny rucas and sisters keep putting the moves on me? All of the above?
Gero and Loving It!

Dear Pocho,
The only thing Mexicans alternately love and hate more than los Estados Unidos are gero (light-skinned) Mexicans. Blame the Aztecs: when the light-skinned, bearded Spaniards showed up in Mexico in 1519, Moctezuma and amigos thought the conquistadors were manifestations of Quetzalcoatl, a light-skinned, bearded deity that oral tradition promised would return to save mankind in 1519the very year the Spaniards showed up. The Spaniards quickly put that myth to waste by destroying the Aztec empire, but that initial reverence for geros seared itself in the Mexican psyche.

Light skin became synonymous with power, wealth, destruction. Dark skin meant indio: loser, poor, estpido enough to believe that marauders were gods. Not even the efforts of Mexican intellectuals during the 1920s to popularize the idea of Mexicans as la raza csmica (the cosmic race, made up of black, Indian and white blood) could destroy the stranglehold guerismo has on Mexico.

Thats why you see light-skinned Mexicans on television, in the presidential palaces and in corporate offices. Being a Mexican gero takes you only so far, though, Gero and Loving It: youre still Mexican, after all.

Got a spicy question about Mexicans? Ask the Mexican at garellano@ocweekly.com. And those of you who do submit questions: include a hilarious pseudonym, por favor, or well make one up for you!

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