9 Signs You Are Watching a Feel-Good Teacher Movie

1. Opening credits begin to the sounds of vaguely ominous but still mainstream-friendly hip hop.  Cut to scenes of abandoned buildings, girls with gel curls making out with guys in basketball jerseys, furtive drug deals taking place in front of chain link fences.  Everyone, without exception, has an empty backpack slung over one shoulder.

2. All student roles are played by actors age 32 and up

Dangerous Minds

3. Classes are exactly three  minutes long: one minute for the doe-eyed new teacher to try, futilely, to calm down the roomful of scary ghetto teens before being silenced by the surly (but brilliant) ringleader; one minute for the smirking ringleader to deliver one perfectly tuned insult which exposes new teacher's greatest insecurities and fears, one minute for the teacher to have her introduction to Macbeth foiled by a group of beat boxers in the back of the classroom,  aaaand bell rings.

4. It is not possible to truly make a point unless you stand on a desk.

Dead Poets Society

5.  Lou Diamond Phillips is wearing a hair net.

Lou Diamond Phillips

6. The students show their approval of the new teacher by accepting her cutely ironic attempts to act black

Fist Bump

7. The requisite choreographed hip-hop-in-classroom scene

8.  An old, boring, and unattractive veteran teacher tries to thwart the young, attractive, beloved teacher: because it is only young, inexperienced teachers who could possibly actually care about kids (this, in fact, is the entire premise Teach For America is based on).

Freedom Writers

9. Wealthy Hollywood actresses get paid millions of dollars to portray the greediness of teachers' unions

Maggie Gyllenhaal

 

 

 

Type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Leave a comment

  • ChicagoNow is full of win

    Welcome to ChicagoNow.

    Meet our bloggers,
    post comments, or
    pitch your blog idea.

  • Advertisement:
  • Meet The Blogger

    Jessie Ann

    Jessie Ann is a writer and high school English teacher from the Northwest Side of Chicago whose first novel, The Carnival at Bray, is forthcoming from Elephant Rock Books in fall 2014. She is a graduate of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and holds an MFA in Fiction Writing from Columbia College. Her fiction and essays have appeared in Salon, xoJane.com, The Madison Review, The Chicago Reader, McSweeney's, Great Lakes Cultural Review, Hypertext, Sixfold, Word Riot, Hair Trigger and other local publications. She lives with her husband in the Jefferson Park neighborhood.

  • Advertisement:
  • Fresh Chicago News