Waking up, sprinting to the bathroom. But not making the toilet. I’ll assume I don’t need to add details for sake of, well, details. This scene is exactly how I like to envision myself as a sex-pot. Toilet: sex pot, is that a pun? Anyway, shit happens. Hmmm... maybe that’s a pun? Either way, when a woman has a night filled with PMS and whiskey, and believes she’s falling in love with someone who "betters their life by consuming no alcohol", there are bound to be consequences. Or, for some weird reason, things just always happen to backfire when I'm drunk and cross eyed. Except for one thing: My hangover. After a wild escapade, I can always count on a hangover and a crazy craving, waiting for me in the morning. I mean, at least there's something to be said about consistency. But, I like to think boozing on occasion and maybe sometimes having more of my share than I should, is not necessarily a bad thing. It's typical behavior for a “fun” person. You know, like your typical 30 something, bombshell-wannabe, unhitched, writer-in-the-city, big dreaming, fun person... but, who knows. Actually, who cares? Because, really, what it boils down to is a bullshit hangover. A hangover is hangover, is a hangover. It doesn't matter who you are. The wrath of binge drinking can be a bitch. And when you’re like me, all that should really matter is: What I’m going to eat to make it all go away. Feeling close enough to my deathbed on some hangover days, I need something along the lines of The Last Supper. I mean, if I have any chance of making it through the day, I need a lot of hangover food. Some good mood food, indeed.
Good mood food is the cure for hangovers and heartaches. Any starch that involves butter and cream works for me. That goes without saying; I am willing to whip up something fatty and homemade if it is going to help me make it through a fun filled Sunday of heaving and sobbing. A good n’ greasy Whopper would do the trick but Burger King doesn't deliver and I’m in no shape to be seen in public. (simply because I don’t want to wash off the dried up, mascara-streaked tears on my cheeks. Or the tips of my hair laced with throw up- washing involves too much work, especially for me, The Hangover Sally).
A mind-numbing day is due, for someone in dire need of good mood food the morning after. A day with a killer hangover consists of watching box office flops on WGN. I like to inflect myself with pain of locking myself in a small high-rise apartment, inhaling the stale stench of beer, cigarettes and my own BO. Then I like to force myself to watch Hugh Grant act horribly in pathetic romantic comedies. It’s not until I decide I've put myself through enough hell for the day for the previous night’s bad decisions, that I allow myself to eat some good mood food and I deserve something deliciously fatty. I may sabotage good influences in life, but I do not deny myself good mood food.
So what does any normal hung-over person do? They order pizza. But not me. I cook. Something like, orzo with garlic, mascarpone, butter and cream. Sha-wing! Yes. Shaw-wing worthy orzo for a hangover. A mirapoix reduced with Pinot Grigio, dripping with Greek spices, is a well-deserved treat for any occasion- this hangover is definitely one of them. I may or may not have to take sweat breaks and naps in-between chopping the vegetables, but shoot, I love to cook!
If you know how to cook, put together the ingredients like you would a homemade macaroni, with a béchamel sauce. Then fold in everything else.
There is a catch. I usually can’t eat whatever I make because I’m too hung-over. So, I eat while I’m cooking. Like Saltines, or an entire cinnamon fudge coffee cake... a box of chicken wings leftover from the night before... plus, whatever I order to get delivered after I break down and just pick of the phone and have someone else cook up something greasy for me. I figure, when I throw up all day because of reckless drinking, I deserve it. Now that’s some good mood food.
Happy hangover! Fatty foods, bad TV and makeup sex also help recovery from rough weekends. So, what’s your hangover recipe to make it through the day? Here’s to good mood food (and other cool stuff for what ails you!)