Why I voted for Frank Underwood in the Illinois presidential primary

Jeez, if Frank Underwood, the evil protagonist of the Netflix award-winning series, "House of Cards," were on today's Illinois presidential primary ballot, some of us would have a tough time deciding between him and the rest of the field. (Spoiler warnings!)

At least with Frank Underwood, and his wife, Claire, who is running with him on the Democratic ticket as the vice presidential

Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright as Frank and Claire Underwood.

Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright as Frank and Claire Underwood.

candidate, we'd all know what we'd be getting. Back room deals, back stabbing, intrigue, total narcissism,  dishonesty and corruption. The series makes no bones about the evil that lives in the hearts of Frank and Claire. They're proud of it.

Which brings us to the frontrunners in Tuesday's "real" Illinois presidential primary:

  • Republican Donald Trump.  Ack. Gaff. Retch. Yeah, we're supposed to respect the people who are picking him because his voices their "anger." Sorry, voting for someone because you "respect" the people who support him is stupid. And, how can I respect them, when I can't respect Trump? They haven't created enough adjectives to describe Trump, but I'll go with "dangerous." He will solve every problem, but he doesn't say how, only to promise that we should "trust him."  And how do we do that when he says he'll make "deals, great deals," when we don't know what those deals will be? I thought that "outsiders" hated Washington because of it too easily makes deals.
  • Democrat Hillary Clinton. Double ack. Assuming she isn't indicted before the election, throwing the country into an orgy of confusion, she could do the country a big favor, like Jeb Bush, and remove herself from the presidential race.  We already know a lot about her--more than we need, despite her "trying not to lie" to us. And what we know qualifies for for a lead role in "House of Cards." Or a term in the slammer.
  • Democrat Bernie Sanders. This is a 1968-style Chicago hippie who never grew up. Where the hell are his beads? Like wow, man. Right on and power to the people. I thought when Baby Boomers finally ungracefully stumbled into old age, shedding their self-defined assignment as America's "greatest generation" that we'd finally hear the last of bell-bottomed political philosophy. How sad it is to see a younger generation pick up where the old timers left off. I suppose because so many of them are uncritical students of the last resort of the beatniks--university faculties.
  • The rest of the Republic field. You're getting what you deserved, sucking hind teat. Your ego-addled brains wouldn't allow you to see what you were creating. Too bad the rest of the country will  pay the price.

"House of Cards" along with Frank and Claire Underwood and the rest of the self-aggrandizing, vile and dishonorable characters probably started as a satire five years ago showing how Americans can elect the most incompetent, self-serving and corrupt leadership if we're not careful.

That would have been a good lesson, until the 2016 presidential campaign came along to prove the point. You can't make up this stuff. I voted for Frank and Claire Underwood because compared to the rest of the front-runners they look sane and appealing.

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  • Mmmmk........Vote Trump!

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    As someone who has fought the establishment for a few years, defended our constitutional rights, and is hated by the DC crowd, Cruz is also the angry guy but he says it nicer and in complete sentences. Even Rubio was an outsider til he got sucked into the amnesty disaster. I am not surprised so many people have been dazzled by The Donald, but Really?

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