This is a parody of a Slate article, "If you send your kid to a private school, you are a bad person: A manifesto," by Allison Benedikt, Aug. 29. 2013. She posits that the best way to improve public schools is for all parents to send their children there. Her article is not to be taken seriously, which explains this parody--the only response that it deserves.
You are a bad person if you send your children to public school. Not bad like murderer bad--but bad like ruining-our-nation's-system-of-private-schools bad, the only hope for parents who want to choose what's best for their children. So, pretty bad.
It seems to me that if Americans were more invested in private schools, public schools would be forced to be better. If your local school stinks--but many don't--you need to vote with your feet. Demand a charter school. Or a voucher school. You don't cure an illness by feeding it, even though people like Allison Benedikt think that everyone going to lousy schools is just the ticket.
What's going to convince them to change if people are banging on their doors to get in? Just say: "Oh, we know that your school isn't all it should be, so we're sending you our children. It might take a generation or two for your school to get better, but that's all right." At least with Benedikt.
So, here's the solution: Everyone pull their kids out of public schools. If there's no place else to send them, that's okay. It might take a generation or two for enough charter schools to get set up. Or it might take a generation or two for government to come up with enough vouchers to satisfy the demand.
What, but the heck, you're children will be suffering for the common good, as Benedikt would have it.
And if you think that I've lost my mind, remember that I'm not serious. But Benedict is.
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