New takes on 17 old sayings

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a mechanic.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

 I didn't write this; it arrived in my email, so I don't know who should get credit (or blame).

Filed under: Uncategorized

Tags: old wisdom, sayings

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    These are good. What happened to 10 and 11. Here is another. "All things come to those who wait" is a warning, not a blessing. All things means all things.

  • For confirmation of #3, think "Singing in the Rain" and how the talkies punctured the careers of some silent movie stars.

  • Apropos #17, Ogden Nash wrote:

    "Senescence begins
    And middle-age ends
    The time your descendents
    Outnumber your friends."

  • #12 wouldn't apply to that Mayhem guy in the insurance commercials.

  • The version I heard of #6 had "Nuclear War" instead of "War".

  • #1 sounds like a Grouchoism.

  • As for #4. to say that if you agreed with someone, then you would be both wrong suggests that you knew the truth in the first place, which means if you did agree, you would be guilty of lying. And who can trust a liar?

  • Does #15 have anything to do with the auto-da-fe?

  • I've never put much importance to sayings. For example, which one do you follow: "He who hesitates is lost," or "Look before you leap?"

  • In reply to Dennis Byrne:

    Both: If you hesitate, you're lost, so don't hesitate to look before you leap.

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