I never thought I would be contemplating the significance between weekend versus weeknight dates; and here I am giving it possibly too much thought. That being said, it’s a topic that I think is becoming more and more talked about in general considering the frequency and quantity of dates that we (or all of our friends) are going on.
Because I’m feeling abnormally organized today, I’ve decided to create a list of first date pros and cons for each:
Weeknight dates: Pros and Cons
- Pro: for a first date, it seems like a weeknight date is probably the safest option for both parties. You automatically go into the date with the assumption that you probably both have obligations the next morning. You already have an pre-determined and justified “excuse” to bounce early if the date is going to shit.
- Pro: there’s a pretty general understanding that a weeknight date is pretty casual. After work happy hour on a Wednesday night sounds like a lot less pressure than a Saturday night date right off the bat.
- Con: waking up potentially hungover for work the next day is not top on my list of things anyone really enjoys.
Weekend dates: Pros and Cons
- Pro: typically, there are a lot of fun things you can do over the weekend without too much concern about a time schedule or getting off of work later than expected. Specifically when thinking about summer plans, you can expect for a fest or some bar event going on at least every weekend that makes for a great first date.
- Con: how much time is too much time for a first date? If you ask a girl out on a Friday night, and the date itself was pretty damn miserable, you have a little bit of a harder time using the “work the next day” excuse. You've got to get creative and (quickly) come up with something else.
- Con: what happens after the date? The assumption in most cases is that you both could potentially have made plans with friends for later in the evening. So does your date then become a “tag-a-long?” This could potentially become a very awkward situation.
- Con: sleepover or no sleepover. When it’s a weekend and you don’t necessarily have any responsibilities the next morning (laundry and grocery shopping can be saved for 3 days later), it becomes a little more enticing and possible to sleepover at your date’s apartment if the date actually went well. Nothing wrong with this, but I think the expectation of a sleepover on a weekend can sometimes create unintended pressure.
- Con: the dreaded or not-so-dreaded morning after. Directly related to my last point. If the sleepover does in fact occur, you’re now left with the morning after situation that can go one of two ways. One, you two continue to have a great morning with a bowl of cereal in bed and the mutual feeling that this wasn’t a one-night-stand. Two, you lay there in uncomfortable silence while internally wishing that your Lyft driver picks up the pace and arrives 5 minutes earlier than he’s predicted to.
If we’re talking numbers here, clearly weekend dates outweighed weeknight dates in their amount of cons. On the other hand, I’ve heard concerns countless times from friends as to why they haven’t been asked on a date over the weekend. And I think the concern stems from a couple different things. Primarily: weekend dates somehow have begun to symbolize exclusivity. A weekend night is typically spent with whoever you’re dating at the time (whether that be coming home from a date together, or a mutual agreement that you two will end up together at the end of the night after your separate plans). When you’re first beginning to date someone, and consistently only going out on weeknight dates, you do begin to wonder why or whether your assumption of exclusivity was wrong. Weekend dates automatically feel a little bit more commital.
My response to girls: biologically speaking, we are better at recognizing emotional cues. When you’re out on your 3rd consecutive weeknight date, my guess is that you’re able to tell what his intentions are. And if his intentions don't align with yours, stop wasting both of your time and put your thumb to good swiping use. Also, if having a weekend date is really that important to you, just ASK.
My response to guys: a weeknight date is most definitely appropriate (and preferred) for a first date. Also, be aware that at one point or another, a weekend date becomes this unsaid expectation. It’s up to you and your date to determine “when feels right." And in the end, it really doesn’t need to demand too much thought.
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