How an American Girl Views the EuroCup

I played soccer in high school and I've played on a few rec leagues on and off since then throughout the city.  Candidly, I suck.  I can run pretty fast, but I fatigue very easily and really can't do too much with my feet.  Should've stuck to softball, I guess - then maybe my thighs wouldn't be so big.

As a kind-of soccer player, I can appreciate the game, I know the rules, etc.  While soccer has become much more popular as a sport to play as kids grow up, I find it still hasn't taken root in America as a sport to watch on ESPN.  It makes me laugh because GOLF is highly regarded and watched, and yet many say soccer is boring.  Give me a break.  I'd rather watch hot, sweaty Europeans/South Americans run around then see a middle-aged man with a gut scratch his chin and use a stick to wack a ball.  Stupid.  And seriously, so little effort needed in terms of tough brute man strength.  High-five, you can aim.  Have you seen a soccer player's six pack?

Which brings me to the purpose of this blog.  The EuroCup is well underway, and with it brings a flurry of excitement that I can even feel here to a certain extent.  The energy is so high, that is floats all the way across the Atlantic into my little lap.  Hooray!  I guess it doesn't hurt that I take French class twice a week and am surrounded by les Francais.  I myself am 25% French (yes, I took the time to calculate it - I am also 12.5% Polish, how do like that?).  I am a Francophile through and through, and if you couldn't tell by the title of my blog page, I am rooting for France.  I probably should be rooting for Italy as my last name is extremely Italian, but they always win.  I say give someone else a shot (on goal) - ha!  Get it?

But really, unless you adore soccer, the only reason for an American gal to watch is to observe the players, not the game!  At this point, my beloved French have beat the Ukrainians and are fighting against the Swedes tomorrow.  Based on the little I saw in the match against Ukraine, the French had better get their DEFENSE in order.  Reminder: open net is a bad thing, cover your home, mes amis!  C'est terrible!  Allegedly England is favored to win it all, which makes me laugh out loud.  As much as I adore me some Kate Middleton, I really can't recall a time when they were considered good compared to teams like Italy and Spain.  I don't know, something about dark hair and olive skin must give you an advantage when it comes to fancy footwork.

But to get back to the point of this blog, the other bonus to the EuroCup going on is that European soccer players at HOT.  Beckham didn't do the USA any favors by coming over all used up.  You want to see some hotties?  Well, look across the Atlantic.  (Disclaimer:  I am married and I adore my husband to bits and yes, he already hates this blog).

Let's just call out the obvious to start - Portugal has Cristiano Ronaldo.  OMG.  I mean really.  I've heard he has a love child with a woman who wishes to remain anonymous, and I can't comprehend why.  If I was her, I would shout it from the rooftops.  "Look what I made!"

Next, France is celebrating Mathieu Debuchy. He just has this sweet face that makes me loves France that much more.  He is a defender, so I am assuming partially to blame for my frustration with the Ukraine match, but hopefully he can rally and pull it together for tomorrow's game with Sweden.  And then France has Olivier Giroud.  Sacrebleu, maintenant, je suis stupide.  Really?  Do the other teams even stand a chance against that?  Talk about a revolution starter.  Off with his, uh, jersey!

Let's move on to Spain.  Jesus Navas and Fernando Torres.  Ay dios mio!  I just blanked for a second.  Jesus' eyes remind me of Jonathan Rhys Meyers and I think about the Tudors and Henry the 8th and I'm like, "maybe England has a chance after all..." They just beat Croatia so we shall see how far they get in the tournament.  Fernando has hair so pretty he should be in a Pantene commercial.

Next - Denmark. Sadly, they have been eliminated from the tournament - ze Germans took them out - but that doesn't mean we can't still look.  Nicklas Bendtner.  Wouldn't he be the only reason to visit Denmark?  Perhaps.

For ze Germans, they have some lookers, but my keyboard can't handle that double-dot thing over the "u"s, so just have a looksie yourself here.  Candidly, I call fowl, as they have a Mario Gomez on their roster.  Yeah, right.  That's like saying Tsing Tao is Chinese beer (Germans occupied this part of China way back when and made their own get the picture.  Just take a sip and you'll know that ain't a Chinese recipe).

And finally, Italy.  My guess is they will win given that they've won almost every other major European soccer anything since I took my first breath, but looking through their roster, I find myself wanting...I mean, they aren't bad, but being of Italian decent myself and seeing how arrogant we all are, I figured there would be a better, va bene!

Best of luck to the remaining teams.  Tomorrow, France plays Sweden and England plays the Ukraine.  We all know who my vote is for.  If you are like me and don't expect England to win, be on the lookout for this guy: Bohdan Butko.  At least the Ukraine has one!  But seriously, he is only 21 which officially puts me in the creeper category.

To check out more on the players, head here - you can even tweet them!  Them Europeans are so savvy!

Viva la France!


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  • This article almost made me gay......almost.

  • Believe it or not, the hubby called at lunch to make sure I DVR le match on ESPN. Yes, soccer is alive and well in our household thanks to my husband who plays in two leagues (one of which is old man soccer, to his dismay) and our soccer starlet daughter who is 10 and plays travel soccer in Park Ridge as a kick-*ss defender and midfielder. All we can say is Allée, Allée, Allée!!!

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