Posts in category "marriage"

Be the king of Valentine's Day

Be the king of Valentine's Day
Every year in the weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day there is a flood of advertising aimed at men.  Obviously the idea is to hock  chocolates, roses, teddy bears, pajamas, lingerie and piles of other wares.  Most of the adverts depict a clueless man that doesn’t know what his lady wants and must be saved... Read more »

Baby shower no man's land

Baby shower no man's land
It is on the calendar, the baby shower.   For sure a baby shower is necessary in my view but that doesn't mean that I have to attend, and I won't.  It's no man's land, women reign supreme in that world of spritzers, cup cakes and tiny clothes. There was a some wonder as to when the baby shower would take place.  My wife's mother is a Serbian immigrant and all that entails; stubborn, cheap and locked in the old traditions.  Initially she told my wife that she would not host a baby shower for her because it was bad luck to have the shower before the birth. "What if something happens because you planned too far ahead and then what?" That's how I imagine the conversation going, one way. When Tetka Z talks the wife listens.  Done.  I'm probably not too far off the mark with my quote. So my wife put the word out to her family, friends and my family as well.  Her side, the Serbs, weren't a bit surprised by this as they are a superstitious people, and here's the proof.  So it rolled right off of their backs, NBD.  My mother and sister, to my surprise, took things in stride and I didn't hear a thing about it, until last week when my sister sent the following:
....mom and I were talking about having a shower for you.  I know that your mom wants to have one after the baby is born, but we are concerned the you are not going to have all that you need once he arrives.  We would love to host a shower, but don't want to steal her thunder.  What are your thoughts?  If we going to do one, we need to get moving!!"
Truth be told I was actually relieved when my sister brought it up, I was starting to think she'd gone soft.  I know she had many sleepless nights sitting in the dark plotting on how to pull it off.  She is not one for inactivity, if there is an opportunity for pink shit, hors'douvrs and booze she is ready with a clip board and guest list.  Thanks for not letting me down. All this means is that now the wife will have two showers, just as she did when we got married, (she had three).  The American shower will be laden with practical gifts and the Serbian one will be heavy on cards with cash.  The two will have few similarities; one will be modest in size, the other will be hundreds.  One will be in a home, the other at the church.  One will have finger food, the other will have sarma and burek. What they will both have in common is that I won't be there.  I got guilted into going to the bridal shower and it was a nightmare, I hated every second of it.  There are few times in my life that I felt more uncomfortable and out of place and that was one.  After I vowed "NEVER AGAIN!' and I'm sticking to it.  I'll play my part and swing by afterwards to pick up the gifts, and if I'm not too loaded, her.  During the Serb shower I'll be over at my Kume's pounding down rakija and eating salted-cured meats.  Delish! Call me what you will but I am past the point of doing things because it's expected.  I do what is necessary for the family and my wife, but this isn't one of them.  My time and energy will be focused somewhere, anywhere else on an early spring day.   Take a look at my Facebook page for other baby shower running-away-from nonsense.  https://www.facebook.com/DaddyDiaperDanger Sign up for automatic updates to your email! Never any spam, cancel whenever. But you won't want to silly! =====================>  ...

Scene from a basement; dialogue

Last night the wife and I were riding out the snow storm in the basement.  The night was boring, frankly, to the point that she began humming while chilling in the recliner, cat in lap.  Both of us staring at the TV not saying much waiting until bed time. I will be looking back on moments... Read more »
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Saint Valentine's Day Massacre

Saint Valentine's Day Massacre
Saint Valnetine’s Day Massacre might be a touch strong but the point will be made.  Valentine’s Day to me has never really been more than an inconvenience.  Valentine’s Day in my younger years meant taking little paper valentines for all my friends in grammar school and stuffing their shoe box taped to their desks.  Teenage... Read more »

Sleeping with a hot ass woman

Sleeping with a hot ass woman
For those of you hoping that this is going to be some kind of 50 Shades of Grey smut-fest, sorry.  The title should probably have read “hot assed woman”, but I had to get your interest somehow. Sleeping in the winter time is the best time for me.  Winter sleeping offers everything that is great... Read more »

I had Subjugated Myself and Didn't Even Know It; My New Life as a Pet

A typical Wednesday night, just like hundreds before it.  I’m sitting on the couch, the wife is on the other and we are mindlessly staring at nothing on T.V.   The television is an unfortunate byproduct of my love for the NFL and all things Bears.  Only during football season do we have cable, the rest... Read more »
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