The wife is pregnant with kid number 2. I never want to bury the lead.
This is not really breaking news to most around us as we made the annoucement at Vlad' first birthday party in May. In this time of instant news and information spreading like a VD in Bangkok this is tantamount to reading about it in the Sunday edition of the Trib. However, this is news to some and an attempt by me to get back in the game. Maybe I can even ruin my child's life by posting embarrassing pictures on the internet, for use at a later time when he brings home his first biscuit.
Alas, it was a glorious day. The sun was out and warming the earth to lovely 78 degrees, a temperature now that seems gone until next June, thank you very much Polar Vortex. We had over 100 in attendance, a giant tent, piles of roasted meats, baskets teeming with bread and a jumpy thing to intern the kids in while the adults drank, and drank. Hands were slapped, drinks were slammed, teeth were shown and crude jokes were told in a celebration of procreation.
Now that the wife and I have a year of parenting under out belt there has not been as much hubub and worry during the run up to this birthday. We know what we are in for and aren't sweating too many details. We have all the necessary accoutrements and what not to deal with another child, so there is no need for last second showers and trips to the store for whatever. To be honest, there have been times that I forgot the wife is pregnant. Horrible right? I think that she has noticed too. Lately there have been more demands to "say hi to the baby" and "rub my belly". But, aside from the shit-ass weather the summer has been grand, all is well.
Last week the wife had her 20 week sonogram. No problems, things are progressing as they should.
The question that we had, and I will ask now is;
Should we find out what the sex of this child is, given that we found out for the first one?
As with everything, and I mean everything, the wife and I have different views on this matter. Shocker. I want to know and she wants to be surprised.
To me it makes no sense not to find out. We found out for the first so what's the big deal? It's better to know ahead of time. What if it's a girl? Then we have to go out and start buying everything pink; Pink dresses, pink hair bows, pink shoes, pink toys, pink binkys, Pepto-Bismol, the whole shot. This facility as it stands is barely suited to handle one female, it can't be expected to handle two without the proper preps, like more alcohol for me.
In a stunning first for us, the wife and I compromised. She will let me find out the sex but I have to keep my trap shut, to everyone, making me a modern day Cassandra.
Ok, no problem, I can do that. I can keep a secret for 4 months. I got it. Although, my busy body 11-year-old niece Brynn has been badgering me already trying to find out. Even going so far as to use my father's phone to try and Catfish the information out of me.
Last Friday and the appointment come and go. Friday evening is upon us and as I'm leaving the house the wife hustles out the door and hands me an envelope,
"What is this?" I shout.
As I sit in the driveway I look at the envelope and then it dawns on me what it is, it's the results of the sonogram. I open it, take a look at the contents and drive off.
When I got home later that evening I sit down and we talk.
"Did you open the envelope", she asked.
"Did you tell anyone yet?"
"Who would I tell? I've known for 4 hours and those were spent with Grant. And NO, I didn't tell him. He was indifferent to the whole thing and just wanted to drink, which I was fine with."
"Well, it doesn't matter because I already know. Tell whoever you want."
"How is that? Did you look at the envelope or something," I asked.
"The stupid ultrasound tech. When I went in I told her what the deal was, that I didn't want to know but to write it down and put it in an envelope for you. She said no problem. So she starts doing her thing and smearing that goop all around and rubbing the other thing to see what's up. Then she grabs a sticky and writes it down and hands it to me in a sealed envelope. But I can see right through the damn thing. Did she use a damn magic marker or something? So just like that I new, in an instant.
Trying my best to sound compassionate I say, "oh man that sucks".
"Yeah, but even if I hadn't read it through the envelope I would still have known. After she found out the sex and while she is still rubbing the x-ray thing on me she starts using pronouns all over the place like a f*****g idiot. 'HE is really active, HE is looking healthy, HE is big', I swear that woman is a moron".
So, Brynn, it's a boy. Stop bothering me.
What do you think? Is it better to be surprised?
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