Crappy Hallowieners!

Recently there was a discussion about Halloween and what we were going to dress the boy up as.  The thought hadn't occurred to me at all to take him trick or treating, thankfully the wife is always thinking of things that I am not.  Always.  I can see the merit in it, I suppose, it would give us a crap load of free candy to eat. We can dare each other to eat the home made treats that may or may not have a razor blade in it, in a game of Candy Quarters, make the shot, eat the treat.  Or, we can try to find the best flavor of domestic beer to complement each type of candy, or best scotch, vodka whatever.  I just convinced myself that this is a good idea.  In taking the boy out we could also get to meet our new neighbors that we have been avoiding for 2 weeks, we can do a booze cruise while walking through the hood too.  Why do I always think about drinking?

So, we may or may not take him out.  It won't be for him so much as for the wife so that she can buy something and dress him up is some goofy costume.  The later on in life that he becomes aware of Halloween the better.  For most boys the holiday starts out all about the candy and somewhere around 13 when they feel trick or treating is lame it turns into an orgy of mayhem and vandalism.  Without incriminating myself my teenage years and Halloween were spent hurling toilet paper and running the streets causing problems for unwitting homeowners.  The college years were spent in the bars drunk and drooling over the skanks on parade in their naughty nun or naughty neurosurgeon costumes, it was always something naughty.

There isn't any rush to get him into Halloween from where I'm sitting.  But, in researching for this post I came across a costume that had me laughing, and wanting to buy it on the spot.

gnome costume

Bwahahahahahaha!!  That beats all.  Don't ask me whey I think that is so funny but I do, it's flippin' hilarious.  It's better than any biker costume, caterpillar, lady bug or whatever other nonsense is out there.  Even now I'm giggling.  When he out grows it I can repurpose the beard, ears and eyebrows for my "old Ben Stiller" costume.  My fear though is that by endorsing this I may be opening Milena's Box and subjecting myself to all the other holidays that we have ignored for years; Valentine's, Sweetest, Anniversaries.  It's a tightrope.

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