The following is an interview I conducted with myself, just now.
In my career as a blogger I have interviewed so few people that I can't remember how many it's been but if I had to guess I would say it has been zero. But, it is now time to dust off the imagined skills and put them into use to recapture what audience I had and have ignored. I am effectively starting over at day one.
Soooo, where have you been?
Well, you know it's interesting....nowhere. I have gone nowhere. Somewhere in April the wife and I moved from one suburb to another. I'm not sure from where to where but I do know that there is more traffic and construction so we must be closer to the city.
I see. Is that a slam against the homogenized suburbs and their dead eyed denizens?
No, no, not at all. I identify with them more than the pompous elites of the major cities I think.
This interview is dying quickly so why don't you tell me what you have been doing for the last two plus months.
As I said, we moved mid April, which was a hassle but all it cost me was a rental truck, two cases of beer and a lunch tab to my guys for helping. We got settled in and got on with things. In early May we were expecting the baby to come but he decided that he didn't really want to show up for the party so we ended up waiting and extra 10 days for him. We were patient initially but eventually we decided on induction. We packed up the car and headed for the hospital.
So no home birth?
No, because we moved from our house the wife didn't feel comfortable birthing in the place we are renting so plan B was the hospital in Elkhorn, WI.
Why Wisconsin? Is that where you moved to?
The hospital in Elkhorn was the backup because the midwife and the OBGYN there have worked together before and they are more sympathetic to the natural birth movement and didn't suggest drugs at any time. Interesting side note, that is the same hospital that I was born at. So, I was pretty excited for that.
Wait, what? What the f**k did you just say? You're a......a cheddar huffer?! Don't answer that, it's too horrible, I can't even deal. No drugs, so the wife made it?
No epidural or nothing, not even a damn aspirin. The staff did have to give her some drugs to get the labor started. That whole process took damn near 48 hours. They tried to induce slowly but it just wasn't working so they had to amp it up to get the kid out before there needed to be any talk of C-sections and all that bull crap. It was around 3 in the morning that Vladimir Aaron DeDobbelaere made his way into this world. The family made it up there and all so it was a good day. I tell you what though, it was about 3 hours after the birth that the wife was asking the nurses what she had to do to get released. No joke, at about noon that day we were in the car on the way home.
Fantastic, that is just super duper. So you got home, then what?
Not much really, I've been adjusting to being a dad and taking care of things. For the first couple of weeks we had a lot of visitors, friends, family and what not. Things didn't change a whole lot. When people were over we would drink and celebrate and have kick-ass times all while the kid slept. The best part is that when the wife's family and friends came by they all would stuff cash into the cradle! It's like he has a hustle already! Makin' dat cayeesh. I didn't know about that custom from the Serbs but it's been nice. Having a start on his college account can only help because who the hell knows how much that will be in 18 years. Frickin' community college will probably run 20 G's a semester knowing how this state is run I wouldn't be surprised.
Now we are looking for a house so we can get out of this rental and get settled in and get on with things.
It sounds like you are doing well and I am happy for you all. You are enjoying time off work with the family and are loving the summer. I'm left then with one final question, "why haven't your written anything since?? You have time, you have material!! Get your ass moving and do some work!
Fair enough, fair enough. I have no answer or defense for that. Initially I was focused on the birth but after that it was......nothing. There is no reason for it. This interview, for me, is my way of getting back into the spotlight, getting my head right and writing again. So get ready.