Top 10 names that my kids will NOT be calling their grandparents; because they suck

Top 10 names that my kids will NOT be calling their grandparents; because they suck

Cute adorable nicknames for granparents make me want to vomit from my ears whenever I hear them.  The trend is repulsive.  I don't even know if it is a trend because it has probably been going on forever.  I have been exposed to it to one degree or another my entire life.  It may be just ever so precious when a baby is first learning to talk and struggles with words but eventually those kids grow up and, depending on where they live, have a command of language and the option to call their granparents whatever they want.  So what are you left with then?  A grown-ass man calling his grandfather Pop-pop that's what!  It's re-god damn-diculous.

I was always able to hide my disdain from a distance because it was always a co-worker or friend that had some asinine name for their grandparents.  But, things got all up in my face when my sister had her first kid and Nana and Poppa were born.  Then my brother had his kids and Nana and Poppa redux sprang forth.  Frankly, I don't know if I've ever voiced this opinion to anyone but my wife, so it may be a lonely Christmas coming up for me but the truth had to be told!  No longer will I be kept silent!

The only names that will be acceptable for my kids to refer to their grandparents are; Grandma & Grandpa D and Grandman & Grandpa H.  And, when they go visit the wifes parents, the Serbs, they can call them Baba and Deda.  Guess what the translation of those two words is.  GRANDMA AND GRANDPA!!

Here is my top 10 list of dumb-ass grandparent nick names.  There will be no individual commentary on these because the suckiness of the names say enough.

10. Nana

9.  Poppa

8.  Pop-pop

7.  Gee-Gee

6.  Gammy

5.  Momsy

4.  Pepop

3.  Doody

2.  GeeMa

1.  MeeMaw

If you care to see some more names there are dozens of web sites and articles devoted to them.  There are even suggestions on how to come up with the best names and how to pick the one that is right for you!  Yipee-skipee!! 

There will be no debate on this in my house.  Mom?  Dad?  I'm looking in your direction now, this won't be one of those situations in which you love to tell me "just wait, you'll see, it'll all be different when it's your kid". 

Not on this one it won't.  My brick wall of stubbornness has been fortified with a rabid piranha infested moat and samurai scorpions with Adamantium claws. And it won't be penetrated.




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  • Wait! People really call their grandmother MeeMaw? I thought that was something the Big Bang Theory writers came up with just for Sheldon.

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    In reply to Shari Schmidt:

    I knew I heard that on some bad sitcom. By the way, I don't care what it means and what language it is...Baba and Deda suck.

  • In reply to Shari Schmidt:

    I worked in a restaraunt in high school and that is what the owner's kids called their grandmother. That's where it all started for me, she was patient zero.

  • In reply to Shari Schmidt:

    My son calls my mother something that sounds like "Mamau". It's because he's less than two and cannot say "Grandma". My father is "Ampa". I was cool with just Grandma and Grandpa - it's what I called both sets of my grandparents.

    My inlaws (all three of them) picked the names they wanted to be called: Nanny, Granny and Grandpa. Nanny he can say (Nan/Nana/Nanny are all very common English names for the grandmother figure), Granny not so much. Grandpa is something like "Grrr-pa."

    My parents found it a bit ridiculous that they'd pick out their own names, and said, "He'll pick out a name for us and that is what we'll be called." While that may morph into Grandma and Grandpa over time, I kind of like 'Mamau' and 'Ampa' - it's grown on me. I find them a whole heap a lot more endearing than the insistence that a child master difficult randomly chosen names.

  • I couldn't agree more!!! My in-laws picked Nana and Papa because they have some weird thing that kids shouldn't have more than one set of "grandma and grandpa." My sister-in-law loved it, so now I'm stuck with it when we have kids. My ears bleed every time I hear it.

  • Yes, this "trend" that annoys you has been going on forever.

    40+ years ago, my maternal grandparents became "Nana" and "Poppy" because my aunt & uncle wanted an easy way to differentiate between two sets of grandparents with similar names. So me & my siblings called 'em "Nana" & "Poppy" and loved it--not only were they special people for whom we had special names, there was absolutely no confusion, ever, about which set of grandparents we were referring to.

    Cruel fate took Nana and Poppy from our family way too soon, but I've already decided (and my wife agrees) that someday when we're lucky enough to expect grandchildren of our own, we're going to sit our kids down and tell them that we'd be honored to be Nana and Poppy to their kids.

    Some of the names on your list are, to my ears, foolish and goofy. But when they're spoken by an adoring 5 year-old... or remembered lovingly by a 40 year-old, what matters is what the names mean, not what they sounded like.

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    11. Grandpa DeDobbelaere
    Latent name anxiety?

  • Gotta love these kind of "crap all over other people's preferences" posts from the blogosphere. Even better, in this case it is really crapping all over kid's preferences. Young kids. Bravo. You tell those kids how stupid their names for their grandparents are, you difference maker!

    If your ears are bleeding because of the word "poppa," you might consider why you are so bothered by something so innocuous. It ain't that bad.

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    Sorry, Aaron. Don't buy your argument. Some names are derived from ethnic heritage. Your list except for 3,4, and 5 are all legitimate.

  • In reply to River North Mike:

    You're not the first person to say that. Can you give an example of the ethnicity of one of them? I'm curious. These are all names that I have heard.

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    Yeah, I don't get the goofy names either. I called my grandparents Gramma Scherrman, Grampa Scherrman, Gramma McBride, Grampa McBride. My nieces and nephews all call my parents Gramma Pearl and Grampa Ray and then suddenly out of nowhere, my nieces son starts calling my brother poppa and my siser in law KK. The poppa thing I get .. but KK? WTH is that? And I'd like to think I'm a hip aunt .. but seriously ...with all due respect -- there needs to be a little respect.

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