A Clean Chicago River as likely as....

First, the Obama Administration demanded Chicago clean up the Chicago River and now Mayor Emanuel is jumping on the bandwagon. The plan to clean up the Chicago River is very noble, health-conscious, and idealistic.  Though, the chances of the Chicago River ever getting cleaned up to federal standards is as likely to happen as:

- Chicago being free of cronyism and nepotism

- Bears offensive coordinator Mike Martz not getting Jay Cutler killed by calling pass after pass with no protection from Cutler's teammates.

- CPS not facing huge budget deficits or Driver Ed. cars which date back to Fred Flintstone.

- Former mayor Richard M. Daley and Ald. Ed Burke paying for their own security details out of the millions of dollars in their campaign war chests.

- The Chicago Police Department to stop playing the 'We Swerve and Deflect' game in the death of David Koschman.

- Potholes not resembling huge sinkholes on Chicago streets.

- Chicagoans not fearing parking meters and red-light cameras.

- The Bulls playing this year.

- White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen being with the team next year.

- The Cubs winning the World Series

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    Walter "Butch/Bearstradamus" Brzeski

    Life story in 50 words or so: Born in Bucktown to a middle-class family and has lived in Chicago his entire life, now residing on the far Northwest Side. Attended St. Hedwig, Lane Tech, Triton College and Eastern Illinois University. Has worked myriad jobs in the city, including many years as a bartender; is now a substitute teacher. Currently, is working on finishing his Masters in Education along with studying for his National Strength and Conditoning Association (NCSA) certification test ..................................................................................... Self-description: An avid sports fan, he describes himself as an average, "300-level guy." "I've never been a rich man, I've never been a poor man; I've been in-between." He is as much of a through-and-through Chicagoan as one will meet. He is proud of his Chicago accent and works to give back to the community. A humble man, he values a strong work ethic, which his dad instilled in him............ Writing experiences: Describes himself as the "most opinionated person in Chicago." He tries to get the average guy's voice out there, modeling his writing after the conversations he had with patrons when he was a Wrigleyville bartender. "I'm trying to let people know what is going on. Most of the things I write about, people are thinking about." He considers himself the voice for the working Chicagoan who doesn't think his opinion can be heard. His favorite topics to write about are sports and observations about what's happening in Chicago, and the two often mesh................................................................................... Unique traits: He attended EIU on a football scholarship as an offensive lineman and has been an athlete and sports fan all his life. A favorite childhood memory is racing home from school to catch Cubs games. His house is decorated with Chicago sports memorabilia; his favorite item is a letter written to him by former Bear Dan Hampton. He hopes to one day open an upscale sports bar (in Chicago, of course) and put his collection on display. — By Dan Waters, Tribune reporter

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