Joe Anderson is Headed to Canton & Other Coming Camp Observations

Joe Anderson is Headed to Canton & Other Coming Camp Observations

A well-dressed, downtown man walks into a Chicago dive bar on the corner of Nowhere Street & Future Is Bleak Boulevard. He asks the bartender for a wine list. The bartender is caught off-guard by the request. He takes a bar napkin and a pen from beside the register and writes in capital letters:



He slides the napkin across the bar. The well-dressed looks at the writing, smiles and says quickly, "Old Style".

Does this story have any meaning or relevance? Not really. Is it fun? I think so. And that's how I feel about training camp and the preseason. Shakespeare wrote better than I do and he said it pretty damn well. Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. I spend a vast majority of the next six weeks muttering/writing a refrain that seems to drive a stake through the vampiric heart of the Bourbonnais die-hard: it's all meaningless.

There will be things to look at this summer. Young linebackers attempting to meld their skills into a veteran defensive unit. A new group of offensive linemen trying to find themselves as a unit. A quarterback-guru head coach and a quarterback looking to get on the same page.

These are things worth looking at but you will never have the opportunity to see them. Every moment of practice shown to the public is a mere performance. Nothing of value is implemented or practiced. Teams are far too secretive for that. And preseason games are intriguing for the those hovering around the fifty-third roster position. You know, those who'll make the roster and spend an overwhelming majority of the sixteen-game schedule in jump suits on the sideline.

Watch it. Enjoy the hell out of it. Just don't come to any conclusions based on what you're seeing because the truth is simple: you're seeing nothing.

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  • First? Aw shit!

  • hahahahaha... that headline will make yonny go crazy. funny.

    I have one for you guys...

    Bear walks into a bar. Goes up to the bartender and says, "I'll have a gin and............................................................................................................................................................... (after a minute or so of silence) tonic."

    Bartender says, "sure. But what's up with the pause?"

    Bear says, "What, these? I've had 'em all my life" (holding up his paws)

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I'm going to use that one, MB, I like it.

  • In reply to ben in norcal:

    it's just a cute one that I told my daughter (it was a tearoom and not a bar in her version. ; ) ), use at will sir!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Me likey. Using it tonight.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Right on, now I know a version to tell my neices(age 4 and 6) tomorrow when I head up to Sonoma to see my bro.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    lll use that next time im trying to get a chick to drop her panties.

  • In reply to Fresno,Ca Bear Fan:

    Oldskool Fres! Make 'em laugh ......

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I like that joke. Totally family friendly too if you move it to Arby's or some such.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Mwah! (applause)

    Two nipples walk into a bar.
    Barman says "Nah, can't serve you guys, sorry."
    "Why not?
    "You're off your tits."

  • As far as what you're saying Jeff, I agree and disagree simultaneously.

    I agree that camp and PS are pretty meaningless. But one very important thing they mean to me is that real FB is right 'round the corner.

    Even though it seems meaningless, I enjoy this time of year because it's just the beginning. We have all successfully navigated and survived the long and weary trek through the desolate desert that is the NFL offseason.

    Mark my words: time flies and before ya know it it'll be week 12. Cheers to the start of a new era for da bears.

  • In reply to ben in norcal:

    Halas used to preach 'practice as you would play'. Perfect practice makes perfect. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail etc. We have a weightier roster than we usually do though. Look at the OL, the safety position, the linebackers, and now ... we have decisions to make at receiver. Before, we were just looking for guys to pull on a jersey to play receiver. Now there's questions to be answered.

    We have an awful lot of guards and tackles we know little about. I've only heard good things about Jonathon Scott and James Brown. Neither looks to even start, all things being equal. Was Slauson any good? Have you seen his mug shot? Why does Webb get to start at RT when he was rated as being the worst RT in the league? No fkn way Taylor Boggs ever starts at center, but can Edwin Williams not do a better job than the man with no knees, El Robocrap ?

    Is the Conte/Wright pairing our best? Lac said Steltz is always in the right place and Hardin was 'flying around'.

    The real battle is at receiver for me. Beast and Baby beast, mark em down. The Pearl, he gets a jersey. I have Shabba on my team. Joe Anderson is a baller. 3 tall guys, two shorties. Then who do you keep even if you're keeping six receivers? Weems? What happens if Hester gets hurt returning? Terence Tolliver is 6'5, 205lbs. We just drafted Marquess Wilson (6'3)..

    How many receivers did we carry last year, five? I have no feelings on Weems as a receiver, but assuming he gets cut, then you're also saying goodbye to the draft pick Wilson and 6'5 Terence Tolliver. Terence Who?

    This guy.

    Tell me we don't need a guy like that on the roster.

  • In reply to ben in norcal:

    +infinity x's some number we have never heard of.

  • I am bummed by Trestman's Bourbonaiss schedule. A bunch of morning drills and... basically nothing else.

    There is one Sunday in there I may take the kids and make the trip down, but I expect to see nothing except the guys in pads and maybe some deep ball catches with routine applause.

    Last year my only impression was that Peanut looked beat up and old, and she how that turned out - he put in another Pro Bowl season. So, Jeff's right - there is no reason to bother going down there - except I'm a fucking Bears fan and this is what we do. We go and watch meaningless drills because we're fans and we don't want to go to any stinkin' MLS games.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    To say nothing of wasting time at MLB games.

  • Favorite actor Farina.
    Dandruff - tons.

    Brats, chops, dogs, they're done.


  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    look at you. making a pop star appearance once in every while.

    so high faffluent.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    who makes more appearances, Willie or Jeff?

  • Ha!

    The new yob, multiplied by duties (doodies) of the old yob, leave little time for the internets.

    When I get home, it's baby time until 8pm. From then on it's a steady diet of Dexters, Ray Donovans, Breaking Amish, and food shows.

    Jeff has no excuse.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Dexter's getting good again. Deb walking into the cop shop to confess was a moment.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Keep 'em wantin' more!

    Never be the last to leave the party. Unless you're banging the girl who's having the party, I guess.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Yo - I'll be in Omaha next week. How's the kiddo?

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Kid's good. She loves some strawberry yogurt. And Yo Gabba Gabba... but maybe it's more that I love YGG and she'll just stare at anything I put on the TV.

    The whole homestead was sick for about a week... then I caught (and still have) this goofy "cyclospora" bug that's infecting midwesterners like fried mayonnaise balls. So, still, as of today - I have "watery, and sometimes explosive, diarrhea".

    Real nice.

    Today, for the first time in my life, I had to provide a "stool sample". In essence, I pooped in a plastic bucket and spoon fed the fecal matter into three tubes. Classy.

    I'm out of town in Denver until Sunday. When do you get in? Is it work-based or PARTY OMAHA STYLE-based?

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Mostly work-based, but I'm sure I'll be out and about. Although, given your symptoms, I'm not sure I want to share an appetizer platter with you any time soon, maing.

    YGG got me through the first couple of years - trippy.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    fuck that YGG shit maings. Not polluting my kids with that freakshow shit.

    Jesus, have some pride in your children's intelligence.

    Just kidding, except that YGG is a fucking freakshow.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    But it's catchy.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    YGG? Have to check that out. The old lady got a job, so I come home from work, she goes out to work. Got the twins until the small hours of the morning and then up a few hours later for work. FML. It's a steady youtube diet of Peppe Pig, Lalaloopsy, curious george ... and the fucking care bears. But then Bears are cool, right? Two year olds aren't the mae west at working laptop pointers so yours truly is changing the videos every few minutes.

    Peace to the parents. (Eric, take note!)

    Has the season started yet?

  • Also, we want to see if this guy's training table was at BMarsh's house or at Burger King. If he comes in flabby, it's a big strike 2 for Emery.

    I will now break the DBB BR rule and self-deduct -45 blog points.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I have to believe that all the training and guidance by bmarsh will steer him in the right direction.

    Jeffery was my one pick from that draft that I thought was a great pick and a really smart play. I really hope he works out... because he's a badass and I think he has the potential to be a bmarsh-lite talent.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I'm much more interested in Long. Alshon has shown us he has the chops to play in the NFL at his position, but can Long?

  • In reply to gpldan:

    i think they already reported that he looks like he gained muscle on his frame and is in shape.

  • First of all Joe Anderson IS going to have a break out year, so get your fucking popcorn ready.

    Second, to say training camp is meaningless is plain wrong. This year, perhaps more than any other in recent memory, will be critical to the success of the Bears this season. New coach, new players, new schemes, new language, etc. this is where Trestman makes his mark. You don't want to show up Gabe Carimi? You're fucking traded. To say this implementation and assimilation process is meaningless is just ignorant.

    Where you ARE correct is when you say the team won't be showing any secret sauce to the public. Die Hards like GPLDan and others really won't care as long as they are entertained and have access to the players.

    So instead of saying the preseason and training camp is MEANINGLESS, why don't we just say, "Don't read too much into what you see in public practices." Or, "The preseason record means nothing." But to say this entire camp and preseason will be meaningless is just plain wrong.

  • In reply to Shady:

    But you must admit - the entire offense - the signals, the play sets, the audibles, the whole system is going to be drilled, implemented and scrimmaged up at Halas Hall in the indoor fields away from cameras.

    Last year Lovie let 'em hit at Bourbonaiss. This year I don't think we'll get live hitting.

    The Pre-season GAMES we will see how the OL is gelling and how the linebackers run. And how Jeffery's hands and cuts look. So no, it's not meaningless, but Bourbonaiss this year especially will be much ado about nothing.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I'm sure they will implement much of the offense at Bearbonnais as well, but yes, most of it out if sight from the public. I think the point Jeff is trying to get across is that fans shouldn't let what they see at practice and in the preseason set expectations for the season, and I couldn't agree more. But saying it's meaningless, particularly this year with a new system, is just false.

  • In reply to Shady:

    Another small factor might be the interaction with the fans.

    There's a lot of players on a one year prove it deal.

    So for example, If D.J. Williams at these practices performs well and a lot of kids are going up to him and asking for his autograph and such, it might endear him to Chicago more next year. He might say, "yeah, this is a cool place, and I'd like to stay here, even if it's for a little less money than that shithole in Detroit."

  • In reply to Shady:

    Shady and the Joe Anderson thing. I dont know how much of it is for real and how much of it is schtick but I love it either way.

  • He's the perfect guy to backup the pearl. Tolliver and Shabba to backup The Beasts. Hopefully. Wilson, the draft pick, we need to win now - everybody knows it - he's no problem to cut.

  • Big AA got his own show - the Bears hooked him up. He'll do the Channel 50 pre-game show.

    AA has lots of charisma and it would be nice to see him transition to be the new Jiggets.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    you're welcome.

    hee hee

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Yeah, I heard something about that. I'm looking forward to that.

    He might need a more "journalistic" partner, as is usually the template.

    I would love to see Waddle and AA work together. Two former Bears, one knowledgeable, the other hilarious, chatting it up before kickoff.

    That's a show I'd tune into every week.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Outside of the fact they're both incredibly obese black guys (or is it incredibly black obese guys?) they don't have very similar personalities.

    I like watching Jiggs taste his victory kool-aide, but outside of that silliness he brings the info big time. Spice Adams is a comedian and while I enjoy his videos, tey have little to do with the Bears I worry about him taking this job seriously. He is brilliant with his dry humor, but when it comes to getting my Bears (and other) news, just cut the crap and give me the facts... However, his diet starts next week so.... Bang! Bang!

  • Also, I'd like to thank some of you Jabrones for checking out the little piece I did at Artoo's blog. It hit 300 views, and I didn't even have to post any boobage!

    Maybe my next one will be on boobage (note to self).

  • Maybe you can interview tobi about Virginia Madsen's boobs when she was in HS. Did she show any cleavage at the prom?

  • In reply to The Fifth:

  • i hope trestman implements the flea flicker. that should be a nice play to run 3-4 times a game. really keep the defense on their toes.

    and hopefully he brings back the ron turner fullback dive. that play was unstoppable!

  • In reply to evantonio:

    Should have been Hester's signature play instead f the one yard bubble screen and fall over.

  • i think the punt return should have been his signature play.

  • In reply to evantonio:

    Touche. Of course.

  • Blogfader....don't worry soon the 18# games with 2# preseasons and the 34 teams will soon be implemented.....that is all..

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    and the 58 man roster...welcome to GoodFook's new NFL

  • In reply to lobotobear:


  • btw...the administrator of CN needed to approve this message and my previous my message to the Administrator...FUCK YOU!!!!'s that feel...

  • This blogsite is not mine. The content that is posted occasionally is not mine. I am nothing special. Who the fuck cares what I think anyway?

    With that being said....what the fuck is going on here. It's getting a little crazy when there are more posts about why there are no posts than posts about the main subject matter of this site.

    I would love to have guest posts on here but as I said before it's not my party.
    Alot of us have some insightful if not mildly entertaining shit to talk about but it's annoying to always here about why the moderator and main content provider of this blog doesn't fucking write.

    Have you noticed that the same people post here all of the time and the only time you see new idiots is when there is some contest or fantasy thing going?

    If there was some actual content regarding the Bears and the players on the team and related subject matter that injected some passion into alot of the guys that never post but stop by to read once in a while then wouldn't that make Jeff more money while making the blog more entertaining during the down months?

    Joe Anderson IS, ironically, a perfect subject to write about. The Bears have some great supporting cast story lines going on right now.
    Joe Anderson - this guy impressed the coaches and his teammates so much that even Lovie admitted that he was wrong and was about to start suiting up. Too bad he waited a full season too long. This guy is a fucking pit bull, headhunting, texas fucking wild man that know's he finally will make the team because a new group of coaches won't have to save face by keeping off the field.

    Marquess Wilson - what a story here. A 2nd or 3rd round talent that dropped way down the boards after some attitude problems. A true WR with speed, height and hands. With the addition of 10lbs of muscle you've got a young, cheap, more talented DA that you can develop for years. Watch this guy come into camp and vie for a spot.

    DA,- a journeyman WR that has chemistry with Cutler and excels on West Coast type crossing routes with the size to present problems for undersized DB's. A damn nice 5th or 6th WR to have.

    We can talk about shit like this because it does indeed matter. It matters because some of these guys will be the future of the Bears at certain positions and talking about these types of storylines beats the hell out of reading about how the owner of the site doesn't like to do anything besides in season analysis.


  • It appears Adam Oestermann hijacked the account above.

  • In reply to gpldan:


  • Dear JAD,

    Really???? Thinking I'm a Newbie? Really?? Just because one has not posted in recent is a Newbie??? Have to disappoint, you can ask many I have been here since the early days before CN...I am sure you can get your rocks off blasting those who may lighten the mood, btw what you were bitch'n and moaning about in you first paragraph is exactly what you don't want..WELL FOOK MI!!!

    Sure in do time I will engage as the season progresses but until then I'll wait in the wings just to piss you off...

    p.s. Have a nice day.bbbbwwwwaaaaahhhhhaaaaa

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    he wasn't talking about you lobo.

    He was talking about willie (i keed I keeeeed)

    I get you johnny. I agree, but since it's FRdoubleE we ain't got no rights.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    whassup...... MB!!!!!!! good?...

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    sup my maingses. yes sir... hope all is well with you too.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    dudes, i wasn't talking about anyone in particular, just frustrated at the lack of content provided by Jeff when in my opinion,there are more things that could be discussed or at the very least are some things to talk about.
    I re-read my post and it looked like I was sniping on Willie which was not my intent.
    You guys know that you've been here for years and I don't mind new guys unless they are new trolls or have something negative to say about some aspect of the Bears without providing adequate supporting facts..

    I was actually just trying to point out that even more people would become regulars if it wasn't always such a sausage fest of regs due to lack of fresh content. Additional content, polls, discussion, etc would provide more reasons for other people to become involved that maybe would stay on the sidelines when we're gittin all political and religious..

    I don't cheat on the blog unless i'm drunk and i love that you guys all stick around. I appreciate that Jeff even has this site. I just am ready to move beyond the offseason and it's time to talk about my son Joe, among other things.

  • Did you also father Harvey Unga?

    Are we having side bets he's on the roster come September?

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    Down Lobo, down! Easy boy. The man of many names was expressing a frustration many if us share regarding this site. It blows during the offseason. It takes a special kind of idiot to hang around the comments section during this period between the draft and the start of the season. It's brutal and we all share in the frustration. Things will return to normal soon enough lobo, soon enough.

  • In reply to Shady:

    Damn you and your cool calm reasonableness and logic today. Damn you.

  • In reply to Shady:

    O.K...boyz.....I get it....long off season, preseason not here yet....just getting jacked for the season....haven't been able to read the blog lately mea culpa Joe...

    and as for Joe Anderson...will see, I believe LDL's antics put him back, MW will be a great weapon..and as for Arrow...I don't think hell make the cut, not that he shouldn't be there just not enough openings on the team

  • In reply to Shady:

    I used to be that kind of idiot. And if Jeff followed Johnny's advice and posted a bit more often during the offseason, I think I could be that idiot again. But damn. I waste so much time thinking about, talking about, dreaming about, reading about, typing about the bears from August to January, that I have to take a break nowadays. There's so much more to life than this blog.

    But I'm sad that I feel my 'reg' card may have expired.

    Most of us have come here daily since as early as, what, '06? I don't even know. It's been a long time. I guess my Da Blog interest has waned a bit, and that makes me sad too. But whateryagonnado? The lure of the interwebs in general has taken a serious nose dive for me.

    I still love you guys.

  • And we you, Doc. And we you.

  • Group hug.

    You going to come out to Chicago for the 12/29 game this year?

    I'm thinking if a reunion is going to happen, that would be a great time to do it.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    No. I'm on the five year reunion plan. Too spendy for the Nitty.

  • No worries - when is Seattle a road game again for the Bears?

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    2015. Well, that's not THAT far off.

  • Kids right? To have or have not.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    I might be in depending on how things are going. I might have to be in chi on biz anyway.

    I got the feeling last time that Chi wasn't really doc's speed.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Chi was great. Night Clubs aren't my speed. But you're right in general. I'm happier the further I get from any city.

  • yep, I know doc. I'm with you most of the time.

  • In reply to Shady:

    I am that special kind of idiot, but man, this offseason was brutal.
    In a good way, I think.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    The coaching change kept things fresh, but after a while things got stale again and it started to smell funny.

  • In reply to Shady:

    Same thing happened to my Bears pestilence scarf.

    It holds a place of honor in my office, Shady. I just wanted you to know.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    And by "It holds a place of honor" you mean it's being used to wipe off the dust accumulation on your computer screen.

  • In reply to Shady:

    Are you trying to say my house is dusty?

  • In reply to Shady:

  • meh. it's the offseason. jeff is always pretty absent this time of year. and you know what? that's ok. it's his blog and his rules. if we don't like it, we can always find somewhere else to go and play.

    but we won't.

    we'll stay on this shitty CN site even though we were promised we'd be off it before the draft. we'll stay on this borked mess of a blog network even though our comments are now moderated so we'll never really know for sure if we're first.

    and why will we stay? we'll stay here because this is where the conversations happen. because as much as the site is about jeff, it isn't about jeff at all. it's about the people down in the comments who write their own thoughts and views and spark conversations that don't really align with what jeff's got up top.

    that's why it doesn't matter what jeff writes. because we're all writing down here.

    and please note i don't include myself when i say "we're all." i'm also pretty absent in the offseason because, well, shit. what's the point in coming here if there's not any new material to read? =]

  • In reply to evantonio:


    Most of the time I dont even read what jeff writes. I'm here for you idiots. Does that make me crazy.... cause if it does I loves me some crazy.

    I cain't quit you guys!

  • In reply to evantonio:

    Well, at least Jeff doesn't insult our intelligence with "fluff" crap during the off-season, like 'Top 10 Bear uniforms of all time' or some ridiculous countdown (hmmm, I think I just got a new idea...)

    HOWEVER, IF he weren't so adamant about being a one man show, I'm pretty sure me, Artoo and Ender would chip in a piece from time to time in the dog days of summer (and others too. Didn't Jeff owe GP or Shady an article?)

    Just a thought, Jeff.

  • Want me to chip in a piece? Here... Extend Cutler Now!

  • well, therein lies the rub. everyone thinks he can chip in a piece, but this is jeff's baby. and if he doesn't want to sully it with someone else's voice/style/top-10 quickest sacks of the chris williams era, that's his right.

    no one is forcing you to buy a t-shirt.

  • In reply to evantonio:

    Well said my friend.

  • Some people .. .a lot of people ? are frightened to post things on the web for fear of retribution. To each their own.

    So we cut Shabba, Tolliver and Weems to keep a rookie receiver ? Shabba has done it for us before, or as well as could be done with that line and Cutler on his back. Tolliver looks like the real deal, dare I say a more polished version of Alshon. Good problem to have though.


  • In reply to Fresno,Ca Bear Fan:

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    For some odd reason I read it like this:

  • I discovered Shadys real name is Matt Eurich.

  • I'm just a dog -- that's the way I describe my ability on the field. I'm not stepping out of bounds for nobody. I've been in the weight room. I'm very physical. I'll go up and get it. I have a 42-inch vertical. I'll go up and get it if you need to be thrown up like that. Short yardage, I can get the first down. Whatever. I can run routes, 15 yard routes, come out of my break. I can do pretty much anything.

    Oh Joe - you had us at hello.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    You didn't post the other part of the interview, which surprisingly we hear little about...

    I also have a hhhuge gigantasaurus cock which I like slapping women upside the head with. Usually it's just one, but sometimes two at a time. When I go to massage parlors, they ask ME for happy ending. They give me a tip, and send me home feeling relaxed like I did a service. It's nice doing things for people, ya know?"

    This message brought to you by the letter "P" as in "playa playa!"


  • For MB:

  • In reply to Shady:

    actually, I think the one above it is for me... actually.

  • Joe walks into the showers and Major Wright has to sneak out the back. Probably.

  • In reply to gpldan:


    and I know Shady's real name, and it's not Eurich.

    It's Moshe Greenburg. He's Chinese.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

  • In reply to Shady:


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    You know there are Chinese Jews? When I was living in NYC, one of my landlords was a woman from Taiwan. I have no idea why it came up but she mentioned a couple of her friends from college over there were Jewish. And I have no idea why I did but I asked if they looked Jewish. She replied "Not to you but to us they do." I'm not even sure why I'm even mentioning this because it has absolutely nothing to do with Joe Anderson....

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    that made me laugh.

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    awesome. to them they did... would love to see that shit.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I actually have a brain cell that remembers us having a lengthy discussion about Chinese Jews a year or two ago. I'm pretty sure NBIT presented us with some interesting historical background.

    I mention this because it is a rare football blog where the existence of the Chinese Jewish community gets mentioned once.
    It is only DBB where that would come up twice.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    bang bang

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    I like Chinese Jews ... but after half an hour you're hungry again.

    Thank you, I'm here all week etc.

  • anti semite

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Can we get back to Joe Anderson now?

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    there was a chinese kid in my hebrew school class when i was younger. we all thought it was the coolest thing ever.

    the best chinese food i ever ate was in peru. for whatever that's worth.

  • In reply to evantonio:

    i used to work with a Chinese guy from Jamaica. His accent was classic.


  • One of the main reasons I like Joe Anderson is the big hit he put on some poor Packers player last season and the fact that he turned down starting spots on other teams this year because the Bears gave him his first NFL job.

  • +1

  • Fucking plus ones from his dad. Sorry pops.

  • lol, if you can't rely on family who can you rely on?

  • Starting spots on other teams?? Like who?

  • I can't wait to see Joe Anderson play this year. He is a class act for not going anywhere and staying with the bears after they were the only team to pick.him up. Also, (dont kill me MB) Webb might step his game up this year with the help of Kromer and co. I read that they were actually impressed with his game so that has to be of some value. In addition, the UDFA DT Zach Minter, looks like an exciting prospect. Can't wait to see Stephen Pae mauling dudes too. Super "excite" this year!!!!!!! BTW: NO DBB T-SHIRTS THIS YEAR?

  • whoops:

  • Haven't posted in awhile, but have a story y'all might appreciate. I was at the ACC celebrity golf tournament last Sunday up in Lake Tahoe. Quiet day, not much of a crowd. My buddy and I pretty much the only ones at the 14th tee. I knew Urlacher was playing with Rodgers unfortunately. Then the Rodgers jerseys started flowing in, sure enough here comes Urlacher and Rodgers (and Carlton from fresh prince of Bel air)... They get to the tee box and I get a chance to talk to Brian, he actually engages me in conversation.

    Me - hey Brian, how you doin?

    BU pretty good, pretty good.

    Me - Right on. I'm gonna miss seein you out on the field this year.

    BU - tell you what, I am going to miss being out there too.

    Me - I bet. Hey congratulations on your career, you were great man.

    BU - Hey thanks for comin out here and the support man, I appreciate it.

    Me - hell yeah. Too bad you're play in with THIS guy (as I roll my eyes at Rodgers who is standing two feet from us)

    BU - (chuckles and starts his practice swings while waiting around)

    Rodgers never cracks a smile, just stands there with arms folded looking like a douche. BTW he blew right past two 5ish year old kids looking for him to acknowledge him in anyway at all, were crestfallen when he didn't even slow down...

    All in all a good day, BU was in a good mood and talked to Robbie Gould bout 15min later, great kid, very polite, his leg is feeling great, and he is not a huge fan of training camp, but it's 'all part of the deal, as he said. Very humble, likable guy, asked bout me, where I,m from etc...

    Oh yeah and Jim McMahon was....drunk? In a fog? Lost? Wondering how he got there?


  • In reply to RenoBear:


  • In reply to RenoBear:

    lol, Rodgers is probably pissed his restaurant he owns with Ryan Braun is straight fucked.

    awesome story man.


  • That restaurant deserved to fail on the basis of its idiotic name alone.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    amen to that

    Just watched Forte, Cutler and Marshall highlights while my wife watches season 4 of Party of Five.

    Officially pumped. This is the year we take the NFC North back.

    Time to plan the December blowout. We'll be 27-0 by that point.

  • party of five?!?!?!?

    That suicide inducing show from the 90's??!? Jesus christ... on a bike

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I had forgotten how fucking depressing it was.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Wasn't there a piece of hotness in that?

  • Fuck that guy.

    He might be a great QB who's rich beyond any of our wildest dreams with any gay dude he wants (NTTAWWT)... but he'll always be a fucking cunt of a douchebag.

    Fuck that guy

  • In reply to MB30SD:

  • In reply to gpldan:

    loves me some dave grohl

  • In reply to RenoBear:

    I love Lake Tahoe. And Alfonso Ribeiro.

  • In reply to Shady:

  • In reply to Shady:

    His wife is SMOKIN hot.... So is Mark Mulder's wife too, BTW. I chatted her up for a bit, very nice, got to stroke her arm for a bit while she showed me her see through mesh coat UV protection thing...good times, good times

  • Well hell, all us west coasters should invade that celeb tournament next July... It's a good way to get stoked for the upcoming season. As long as Romo andJordan aren't there, the douche fan factor goes down considerably. I gotta say though, I grew up in Des Plaines idolizing Jordan, and I have zero desire to ever meet the guy, everything I've ever read is that he's a colossal asshole with an ego the may not fit in Lake Tahoe...

  • In reply to RenoBear:

    As player, before he started winning rings - he was not that way. His first few years in the league, he would bum rides home after games with sportswriters and was a very humble kid.

    Now perhaps he is an asshole, but I think that guy from NC is still there - but everybody has wanted a piece of him for so many years, he's not that nice anymore.

  • In reply to RenoBear:

    Go easy on Mac!



  • Great title for the article. I'm back for another season.

    So, whatever happened to branching out from this ChicagoNow business? Weren't you going to go back to being independent?

  • In reply to Perno:

    How's the penis and mustard sandwich business these days?

  • In reply to Shady:

    Laughing my fucking ass off. Way to dig deep Shady. Perno pops up for half a second out of the shadows and immediately gets the Penis and Mustard Sandwich treatment.

    Welcome back Perno!!!!!!

  • In reply to Perno:

    yup! we'll be off CN before the draft. mark my word!

  • In reply to Perno:

    Tony Romo : 'Sup?

  • Wiener kept sending junk shots to chicks even AFTER he was made to resign over it? Whoa. What a dick.

    Also Eminem's new record is out. It's called Chapter 9 Mile.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    dude's got serious issues. Why's his wife still with him?

    Speaking of 9 mile, I tricked myself into renting Spring Breakers last night (thought I was renting dead man down).

    I was pissed until the opening credits. It's kind of a fucked up story, but it kind of comes together in the end... and franco is pretty damn good as a rapper/gangster. Oh, and there's LOTS of titties.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Do you get to see Selena Gomez rack? The Bieber bags?

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Not really. You do get to see the other chicks tits and lots of ass. And a BUNCH of starving waitresses trying to break into acting as topless extras tits.

    Franco was actually really good, I have to admit. Worth the watch for the entertainment, just don't expect oscar worthy.

    Commown y'all... why you actin' 'spicious?

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I would wear her like a horse's nosebag.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Selena Gomez titties?

    The end credits of Dead Man Down has an awesome song BTW.


    And in other news Stephen Paea went toe to toe with a gorilla in a bench press competition.

  • In reply to Shady:


    How about you race a football team devin you useless fuckstick. Jesus.

    The reason he agreed to do this is because cheetahs don't hit. vagina.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Sometimes even the most docile animals can be intimidating.

  • In reply to Shady:

    hilarious. wtf was that thing doing. Talk about... mad cow.

    BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH... get it?!?! Get it?!?!?! Mad Cow

  • In reply to MB30SD:

  • More Rodgers douchery

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Oh snap, MB already posted that one. Damn I'm ignorant.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    seems to be a pattern GP. I'm going to start charging you a drink for every repost.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

  • In reply to MB30SD:

  • In reply to gpldan:

    hahahahaha. nice one.

  • Best. Food. Invention. EVER.

    One word..... Frozen. Beer.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Nah, nope, not gonna work. I ain't got time to bleed...or to wait for my beer to melt. How am I supposed to get drunk by the 3rd inning if my suds are still frozen?

  • In reply to Shady:

    OMG... how can you even say something like that... you're dead to me.

    No frozen beer??! Did you watch the video... the one dude pounded his beer while the other guy slowly enjoyed his frothy, fluffy frozen beer.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    If I want to drink a frozen beer I'll go to a Cubs came in April or a Bears game in December.

  • In reply to Shady:

    matter of parliamentary procedure my friend., it seems that you won't go to a Bears game in dec... seemingly.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Don't be ridiculous, I went to the blizzard game against NE and the NFC Championship game in 2010 and froze me nuts off both times. When you guys went last year I had typhoid fever as evidenced by the scarf of pestilence I gave to Posse. You know I can handle my cold weather, you're just still pissed about me not buying you a brewskis.

  • In reply to Shady:

    yes I am.

  • In reply to Shady:

    That's right - I got the pestilence scarf AND free beer.

    I'm Shady's favorite!

    So, you're saying you are going to the Packers game this year then?

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Yeah, so that's what you're saying!??!?! Well, is it!??!

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    I thought the plan was to go to Lambeau this year and taste the Fudgie fan's tears of unfathomable sadness when we wipe it up with their faces.

  • I KNOW willie loves the ICP:

    then there's this:


    our first totally useless and worthless power rankings of the 'season'

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Not the first. PFT has been doing a ranking series for the past couple of weeks. I think we were #14.

  • Guy brings home a bunch of roses for his wife. She goes "I suppose I'll have to spread my legs now." ... he says "Haven't you got a vase?"

    You can change that one for the kids, MB. Make them daffodils.

  • hahahahahaha...

    well played sir, well played!

  • RenoBear -

    I'm just not going with smokin hot here:

    Now Wes Welker's wife?

    yeah, ok.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I thought the exact same thing when I google imaged her. Yuck.

    Welker's wife is nails, as is romo's and decker's.

    Must be nice to be a football star... although I have to admit, at least those guys are good looking dudes. It's not like a Ric Ocasek (sp?) deal

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Again, why would you get married if you were an NFL QB? Okay, Cutty has an excuse, he got her up the stick. But Romo? Rodgers? The flange on offer must be like Michael Douglas in the Eighties, or being Zico in Brazil, Julio Iglesias wherever .....

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Vivica Fox is still looking FINE and I'm pretty sure she's 60 or so.

  • Sac, that is one thing you and I can definitely fucking agree on.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    And who the hell told that paraying mantis that Tannehill married that she's good looking? Good gawd.

  • Sac, that is one thing you and I can definitely NOT fucking agree on.

  • GP's break out Fantasy picks

    Torrey Smith
    CJ Spiller
    Black Unicorn
    Jordan Cameron

    book it

    Are we going to play that auction league again, so I can watch Artoo pay like, a gizillion dollars, for Eli Manning again? Because that rocked.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Actually, If I remember correctly, he unloaded something like $100 on Rodgers (RODGERS!) and another $80 on Foster, and had to wait about an hour to even afford another bid from the blue-light special bin lol

    It was an interesting strategy. It's not as if Rodgers and Foster didn't produce, esp early on. I only lost like 3 times in the auction league, and one of them was to Artoo and his blue-light specials.

    Rodgers and Foster just went off that, and when those guys go off in the same week, they can score like 80 points just by themselves.

    Maybe he goes all in for Brees and AP this year.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I was all over Torrey Smith last year, I think he was all my teams. And bupkus. Zilch. Nada. Unicorn, oh yes. Whoever that Pittsburgh rookie back is too.

  • Porn time...

    BAC Mono with a 285bhp Ford Cosworth 6-cyl sets the Top Gear track record. The Stig fights the oversteer nicely

    Oh God help me do I want this car for a day at Laguna. I'd probably die but damn would it be fine...

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Holy fuckstick that thing looks terrifying. Looked pretty fucking squirly maings. Would have been awesome to see an onscreen spedo readout while he was driving.

    Oh, and spring breaaaak foevah bitches:

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Does that thing have the steering wheen from the classic arcade gane Road Blaster?

  • Jebus...

  • dude, wtf!?!?!?

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