Still Collecting YOUR Chicago Bears Stories...

Still Collecting YOUR Chicago Bears Stories...

We received a solid number of Bears stories the first go-around but not nearly enough. I know there are great tales out there to be told. It is time for you to tell them.

Here is the BEARS FAN STORY PROJECT. 

THE BREAKDOWN

In the early 1970s theatre director/choreographer Michael Bennett was given a sizable amount of money from Public Theatre founder Joe Papp to workshop a musical based upon the lives of Broadway dancers. Bennett gathered a collection of hoofers into a studio on Lafayette Street for a few months and they told stories. What emerged from those stories is the musical A Chorus Line - one of the most successful theatre pieces ever created.

Sports fans have great stories about their relationship to their favorite team. I've found Bears fans especially do. And now, because of technology, they are capable of sharing them to the world without having to gather in a studio at the Goodman Theatre.

I want to compile those tales. Will I ultimately turn them into an evening of theatre? Maybe. If I do your stories will receive all the credit they deserve. Will I simply post/air them on this website? Perhaps. That would certainly be the easiest way to share them. Will I compile them into a volume to share with the fans? It could happen if we receive enough tales of note.

 WHAT DO YOU DO

Send me your stories. You can send them in one of three forms: written, audio, video. There are no restrictions or limitations on the stories. They can be as long or short as you want them to be. The only rule is they must involve the Chicago Bears and you.

Email me the stories - jeff@dabearsblog.com.

GET THE OLDER FOLKS INVOLVED

We don't want these stories to be limited to folks under forty. You know, the ones who spend times on Twitter and on blogs. We want it to be all-inclusive. So get your fathers and grandfathers involved. Go over to their house and record a story of theirs. Then send it my way.

My hope is that we can create something special here. Something truly unique. But there is only so much I can do. Now it is on you. The fans. I look forward to checking the inbox.

Comments

Leave a comment
  • MB you should have plenty of stories, you're like what, 80-something right?

  • In reply to Shady:

    Turns out MB is actually Silvio Burlesconi

    http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-202_162-57590707/berlusconi-convicted-in-sex-for-hire-case-sentenced-to-7-years-and-barred-from-office/

  • In reply to Shady:

    That's what i.talian hookers look like? I'm in!

    Shady, I just turned 75 last year, please don't date me like that. I still have a lot of juice left in the tank.

    You young bucks and your all-night rav sex orgy parties... living in the big city, spending your time rockin it out with a different girl every night... wait...

    you live in the burbs and play video games every night don't you? Well, you're really good at it, so you know... you've got that going for you.

    Cheeky little shit.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Might need a hedge trimmer to find your way around though.

    Bang! Bang!

  • In reply to Shady:

    so cute that your phone is working... at work. Now get back to work and sell those 6 shares of google for mr. ashworth lad.

    Disco bush is always classic.

    Now run along and don't forget to say hello to our little friend in the next cube, doooooooooooood!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Stop trying to get me fired. However if you succeed, I'm moving to San Diego to come work for you and do whatever it is you do. But from what I can tell it allows you to play games during the day, workout in the afternoon and go to Chicago a few times a year. Not a bad deal.

  • In reply to Shady:

    you are more than welcome to come sleep on my couch for a night... maybe two.

    You wouldn't want my job... it might not be 9-5 like summaya stiffs, but the stress between work stress and survival stress is VERY different.

    And yes, I don't put boundaries on 'get your shit done'. 9-5 is for pussies.

    lastly, my PS3 died yesterday and won't start up. So I am effectively finished with video games... until I have enough cash to piss away $300... which won't be any time soon. $300 buys my kids a backyard bouncy house. Bang! Bang!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Not gonna lie, 1 day of bouncy castle > any amount of PS3 game time.

  • In reply to Shady:

    exactly.

  • In reply to Shady:

    I would make a joke about MB not having to duck to get in.

    But he is getting way more strange and I still want to crash on his sofa in a couple of months.

    So I won't.

  • In reply to Shady:

    I'm the fucking national average damn it.... 5'9" is NOT short.

    ...is it?

    *SNIFF*

  • In reply to Shady:

    And I'm at the 50th percentile for weight...so f-ck off, Shady! I'm not fat if MB isn't short!

    Slow news day.

  • You should put in the story about how Hampton's girlfriend tried to fuck John Daly and when Daly's girlfriend got upset and tried to toss her out, Daly went nuts and trashed his own house, but Hampton did nothing.

    Because that story is wild.

    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1138497/8/index.htm

  • I wonder if Lt Uhura knows about Jar Jar Binks

    http://www.etonline.com/news/135443_Star_Wars_Creator_George_Lucas_Weds_Mellody_Hobson/

  • In reply to gpldan:

    what in the fuck... that is the strangest looking couple I've ever seen... and I don't at all mean because they're mixed race, I mean each of those two people is just a pretty strange looking human being. Love jumps the ugly barrier (a few billion in the bank prolly helps too)

    Can someone please:
    1. Download the app Face Craze
    2. Do a face meld of the Lucas'
    3. Post it.

  • Season of destiny climaxes tonight.

  • In reply to Shady:

    We pahhhrked our cup in hahhhhvahhhd yahhhd, braaaaaah

  • This is funny AND disturbing at the same time: http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/showbiz/2013/05/29/fod-will-ferrell-between-two-ferns.funny-or-die.html

  • These look like bad ass Zombie Apocolypse vehicles:

    http://au.businessinsider.com/these-massive-vehicles-are-a-colossal-waste-of-taxpayer-money-2012-8#ixzz2Wm3AIHOO

    The army is scrapping 2,000 (two THOUSAND) of these bad boys in Afghanistan:

    http://au.businessinsider.com/us-militar-destroys-billions-equipment-in-afghanistan-2013-6

    2,000 of those trucks? Damn. I hope they at least pull the blocks on those, that's millions and millions of dollars worth of cummins diesel.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    jesus, what a fucking waste man. ridiculous.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Smvh.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    That's nothing. Hell, if they are $1 million *each*, that's chump change for the Defense Department.

    The total cost would be less than a SINGLE B2 bomber.

    Just a little perspective on how ludicrously costly our military has become.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    yeah, but the B2 makes other countries go all shitty pants on themselves.

    worth. the. cost.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    Military. Industrial. Complex.

  • In reply to Shady:

    You can never have too many :

    a. aircraft carriers
    b. nuclear subs
    c. stealth bombers
    d. ice cream sandwiches
    e. all of the above

  • In reply to Waffle:

    Mmmm stealth nuclear ice cream sandwich bomber carriers...

  • In reply to Shady:

    delicious!

  • In reply to Waffle:

    I absolutely disagree.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    how can you argue with stealth nuclear ice cream sandwich bomber carriers dave?!?!?

    I'll take two!

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Um no they could scrap up to 60% of the 21,000 vehicle fleet. So thats about 12,000 of those bad boys at $600k a pop. Now I didnt go to math school so I'm not gonna do the math, but its a lot.

  • bang motherfucking bang!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDdguwKzyWE

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    That movie looks terrible.

  • In reply to Shady:

    smhv

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    You did it wrong.

  • In reply to Shady:

    no sir, YOU are doing it wrong

    You know, since I fucking coined the term... don't try to hijack my genius and sell it as your own. Guniff.

  • wow, that is awesome. Congrats Jim Kelly!

    http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1665440-bills-legend-jim-kelly-undergoes-successful-surgery-to-remove-cancer-in-jaw?utm_source=cnn.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=editorial&hpt=hp_t2

  • For all you guys that don't live in Chicago but are a fan of hockey and if you have a chance tonight, try to catch the Blackhawks/Bruins game. Tonight will be absolute mayhem. Guys are playing with concussions, paritally ruptured spleens, broken ribs, etc.

    All fucking heart from both teams.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    Well yonny... I'm going to go watch it tonight with a little bit of a hang-nail on my left pinky finger.

    #allheartmaingses

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    good on you to end the MW3 madness (even if it is because it broke). I've been trying to kick that habit but still find myself occasionally firing it up for a little session. I should probably use that time to actually improve myself.......

  • In reply to Waffle:

    I dunno maings, I had the same feelings. Shouldn't I be reading hawking or degrassi or Kant or some shit with this time... but then, it's one of the only things that lets your mind be free.

    I actually think of it like playing LB... there is not a lot of thinking once the ball is snapped, it's all instinct and reaction. Gives the mind a rest. I think it's kind of a big destresser for me. I miss it already. Oh well.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I accidentally left the game on and my wife saw the amount of time i've played the game. She was pissed. She now knows that the time I spent on that game, even if after 9pm, couldn't resulted in a fucking Masters degree of some sort if I'd spent the time studying.

    I think i'll try it and see what happens. Got 90K I can borrow (have) for tuition?

  • In reply to Waffle:

    meh, those who can't do go to school.

    Tell her you're doing it baby! School of hard knocks baby! YEAH!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Easy there big boy. Easy.

  • hahahahaha... not you Doc. the Maths is very functional in the real wor.... oh wait...

    Look, you've picked academia as your path, there is NOTHING more noble than trying to teach our hopelessly disinterested and listless youth something semi-necessary for the workforce.

    In all seriousness Doc, you are doing saint's work my man.

    (saints that get to look at hot poon all day... bastard)

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I think I miss the MW3 madness until I play and experience the thrill that is a 1:30 kill:Death ratio and realize that my kids need me more than my cartoon corpse needs another bullet to the brain.

    Who has time for that shit anymore?

  • yeah, I think if my family was still in tact I wouldn't have wasted the months of time playing over the last year. It was a little bit of a salve I think Disconnection from my shitty reality and all that.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    According to Kan't moral imperative, spending your time reading Kant is actually immoral.

    At least that's my take.

    FUCK THIS NEW JOB I DON'T EVER GET TO READ THE INTERNETS ANYMORE AND WHY DOES EVERYONE ASK ME QUESTIONS THAT I OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I JUST STARTED AND I JUST WANNA READ THE INTERNETS BUT I DON'T GET TO BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY RESPONDING TO EMAILS ABOUT STUFF I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BECAUSE I JUST STARTED AND I SHOULD JUST BE READING THE INTERNETS.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    Make that Kant's, not Kan't.

    Which is kinda cool anyway.

    FUCK THIS MORE EMAILS I DON'T WANT EMAILS I WANT INTERNETS AND BLOGS AND COMICS AND BOOKS AND NOT EMAILS ABOUT STUFF OF WHICH I DON'T EVEN GET YET BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

  • In reply to Who is Willie Gault:

    congrats on the new gig.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    No, man. No.

    I know your heart is in the right place, but.. just... no.

    Shit sucks, dude.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    hahahaha... damn man. you get a gig at oracle or sumfim?

  • In reply to Waffle:

    Game starts at 2am here. I'm up at 6am for work. Fuck it, I wanna see Chicago win.

  • Atomic runs! Nobody escapes death poop!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JFxPKze3Wk

    (I know, I'm evil.)

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Surprise bitch!

    Dude, I know that was a fake vid, but just watching got me pumped (and it was really funny).

    I'm so fucked for life. I'll end up getting a new system when it comes out. Somehow.

    Damn it.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    PS3 1 year later? That's bullshit.

  • My PS2 still works (apart from the memory card).

  • I just watched John Claton say that if Jay doesn't get it done next year the bears might bring in Josh Freeman.

    wtf?!?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    fuck that noise. If Jay sucks it up we have to try and snag a QB in the draft.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    his thought was that we'd be picking too late to grab a real day 1 starter as a rookie.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    That is the dumbest fucking thing i've ever heard.

    Dude, we have fucking done Cutler a disservice haven't we. Fucking wasted his talent by giving him dogshit to work with. Now people calling for his head when it's starting to come together. The guy, after this year will have virtually all Bears QB records....so naturally we should replace him and start over. SHAKING MY FUCKING HEAD.

    Fuck that nerd John Clayton.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    dude, I was looking at him going... my god, I wonder if that man knows what a real vagina looks like (non-paid for I mean).

    What a sad little man.

    Al, what says you about our littler chicken little?

  • In reply to Waffle:

    +1...nail, meet hammerhead.

  • Hey, if I didn't say it already, THANKS for the donation, maing.

  • I want this: http://www.splinterworks.co.uk/limited_editions/vessel.php

  • I want so very badly to go to the playoffs and have success this year and for Jay to play like he always has except now with real weapons and a fucking playcaller and O line. I want him to break all the records in Beardom and then break the fucking bank to stick it to all of the fucking cocksuckers who rationalize EVERY OTHER QB's struggles with claims that they don't have the pieces to succeed. What about our pieces...our pieces of shit? Now we actually have real pieces. I wonder what Cutlers numbers would look like with 3 or 4 years of a real OC , reall WR's, a real TE, a real LINE and a real playcaller.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    fucking Josh Freeman? So he can start from day one in a real system with real players? fuck that fucking noise.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    I'm going to ask that you temper your outlook on our oline, I fear that you will kill yourself if it doesn't go perfectly... and I am still VERY escared that one or two guys going down will spell disaster for that unit still.

    No doubt it's much imporved, we just got fucked in the draft with the absurd historic run on OL in RD1 and 2. Emery did his best this year, but that line is still a B- line at best.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Carimi's gone. That's addition by subtraction. No I will not buy you Yoda!

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    do. or do not. there is no try.

  • Fucking Hawks guys, unbelievable season.

  • Josh Freeman. Shyeah.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOKociU8t_Q

  • H A W K C E ! ! ! !

  • Shady, did you go?

    http://galleries.apps.chicagotribune.com/chi-130610-chicago-blackhawks-fever-fans-pictures/

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I'll go when the Cubs finally win the World Series.

  • In reply to Shady:

    exactly. shutin.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Don't look at me, I'm hideous!

    Depending on the time, I may end up at the ticker tape parade on Friday. Any details yet?

  • In reply to Shady:

    do no, i'm in Sd and I couldn't give a smaller fuck if I was a midget... but you should 100% go... and hook up with the first girl who will.

    Get out of your shell myboy. I know Addy will miss you, but common maings. Lets me agree with your moms in asking, "are you married yet!?!?!? Is she Jewish... she better be Jewish!!!!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    "

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Mawwaige ain't happening anytime soon, too many cautionary tales, including yours. Luckily my "new" GF understands this well.

  • In reply to Shady:

    "new" meaning, "blow up"?

    (sorry maings, couldn't resist. Just make sure your picker is spot on and don't let love/consistent pussy blind you to the red flags)

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    She's actually an ex I got back together with (I know, I know smh).

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    smhvv

    you are ALREADY ignoring the big red flags. Must be some good nana. Just watch yourself maings.

    prediction..... pain.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    An ex?

    Oh boy, Shady...

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Hey it's the summer time, you know how it goes. It'll be over again before the Holidays.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Yes, I know exactly what that's like... it's like planning an awesome day at the beach and then the morning of, you fill your pockets with as much sand as you can.

    Summertime dude... why in thee fuck are you bringing sand to the beach. And old sand at that.

    SMHVV.

  • Congratulations, Blackhawk fans!

  • Thanks maing!

  • what a fucking waste of money/time/focus: http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/17/travel/ghostly-sailors-and-sweethearts-gallery/index.html?hpt=hp_bn10

    smhv

  • WTFUCKINGF

    DaBearsBlog @dabearsblog
    Izzy Idonije joins the Lions. The love Bears fans felt for him will erode quite quickly.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Smh fack, fack, fack!

  • In reply to Shady:

    I think this was meant as an 'if' statement... I can't find it anywhere not even on the lions or bears sites or izzy's twitter account where he's all about the Hawkce.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    http://sidelionreport.com/2013/06/25/detroit-lions-sign-free-agent-dl-israel-idonije/

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    motherfucker.

    Thanks BS. Damn it, I really liked izzy.

    I'd wish you good luck, but you joined the lions, so fuck you!

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Now I hope Izzy turns out more like Alex Brown - old and ineffective.

    If he would have joined another team out of the NFCN, I'd prob still root for him. Now, a pox on his family!

  • On a follow up, I'm very curious how much he settled for, and how much the Bears offered.

    Izzy will be good mentoring their new DE Ansah, and maybe even be able to show cheap shot Suh and Fairley how a true professional behaves (unlike Bosch, who was also dirty).

    Lions added Bush too, and he seems to have matured into a leader type vet.

    Lions would worry me this year, if it weren't for their douchayne Coach who I know will somehow fuck it up.

    Maybe this is how the other fans felt about us when we had Lovie...

  • thanks for the lovie joke.

    I know canada will just hate me more now.

    semi-colon, close parenthesis.

    ...Hey! How's the new gig goin'?!?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    was that an "if" Jeff???

    I can't find it anywhere.

  • paella

    http://www.chicagobears.com/news/article-1/Bears-players-congratulate-Blackhawks/3dcec2a3-5906-40ba-800a-fce3d147a3b3

  • The last 5 minutes of that game was a giant FU to Boston.

    Didja think you had it? Didja? Didja?

    BOOM - TIED!

    Did you think this was going OT? Didja? Huh? huh? huh? huh?

    BOOM - WE WIN! PAAHRK THE CUP IT'S WICKED GOOD!

    Good night Beantown.

  • http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2013/06/25/lions-sign-dl-israel-idonije/

    ...not really worried about it...

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    Sait it aint so Izy!

  • Sac..age was what hit Izzy...I think he saw the writing on the wall ...to bad he joined the pussies...now he can go fuck an old "Cougar" from Mo-town with syphilis.....bbbbwwwwaaaahhhhhaaaaa!!!

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    I just hate seeing any Bear go to an NFC North team. I'm REALLY thankful we wont have to see Lach in a fudge jersey.

  • Wow this stat is ugly.
    According to ESPN Stats & Information, Forte has converted only 12 of 98 goal to go attempts for touchdowns since joining the Bears in 2008. Bush filled that role last season, scoring five touchdowns in 11 carries.

  • Can you say "O FUCKING LINE"!!!!!!

    Forte has never been a grinder of a back...that's what fucking "Clutts" was to be in my eyes and Bush...Double Deuce is and always be an off the tackle back and reverse direction back...

  • Forte is a horse who can block ,catch and run with a pigskin in his hand. Matt Forte is that kind of back , All this goal to goal stuff is a bad stat what did the guy do to get the bears in the position to score those points. A grinder yea between the tackles yea , one od the best all purpose backs YES, thats a the kinda back Matt Forte is

    Frank Deleo
    Bronx NY

  • In reply to frankie5134:

    he sucks at blocking Frankie. We needed a back like Clutts for 4th downs... which was the original point.

    You are 100% right that when forte isn't being sent into the middle of a abjectly turrible line, and is given creative plays on the outside he's undoubtedly one of the best. I just hope the crew we have this year can put all that together and actually, finally utilize forte like he needs to be in order to get the most out of his specific talents.

    MB30SD
    San Diego, CA
    USA
    Earth

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    meant 3rd, 4th, and goalline.

  • and BTW....blogfader...

    really? "THAT" fucking pic for "Stories"...with the "FudgePeckers" in it....ugh

  • I guess Izzy felt the amount by "DaBears" was insulting:

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/chi-israel-idonije-detroit-lions-20130625,0,7621703.story

    guess "DaBears" a 2 for 2 with those players who feel insulted...anyone else want to step up and move on and be so called insulted?

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    Izzy was jacked around by the Bears.

    Play tackle. ok
    Go 3-gap. ok.
    Play DE. ok
    Be the NT when we go into a 3-3-5. ok.
    Play special teams and wedge bust. ok.

    If he spent his career on the Giants, he could have been multiple Pro Bowl. He had big time talent.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    had being the important word?

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Bears rescued him from Browns practice squad and actually paid him coin. I don't think they jacked him around. No one knew what he was when he was younger.

    The Bears didn't know either but they knew that he could play so they paid him and he earned it.

    Then they found a way to bring in a younger, cheaper DL guy with sick upside in Sedrick Ellis and COULDN'T afford to pay Izzy the 2.2M that he wanted. I guarantee you he settled with the Lions for a ball hair higher than the Bears offer.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I'd say 'big time talent' is a bit strong. Even under Marinelli's tutelage and opposite Pep and Melton, he was only an average D-end. I liked the guy, because he was a team guy who had to work for his spot in the league, but a big time talent he was not.

  • I agree with all of this, Doc. I liked him too. It's a shame he ended up on the Lions, but that's the way it goes sometimes.

  • I always liked Izzy. I loved it early in his career when he was the wedge buster on kickoffs. I wish I could remember the exact quote from Mike Brown. It was really funny.

    He's one of those good guys that is great in the community and the locker room. He gets every last drop out of his talent. I'm more afraid he will bring their D-line together by example. It's not like the Kitties have a lot of high character guys in their locker room.

  • hee hee: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=K6-J3IrI4cc

  • after about how many seconds would you use this thing for target practice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DV0MjF7HbPc

    btw, I wonder what the good old boys over at epic mealtime are up to these days (hint: probably something to do with lots of bacon group therapy):
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QNGGJMScyKM

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    my god they're all getting so fat.

  • Looks like MJD just had a gold digging bitch to deal with, not a real issue

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nfl/jaguars/2013/06/25/maurice-jones-drew/2456321/

  • In reply to gpldan:

    MJD is a such a homo...

    But so is claiming that someone dislocated your jaw and gave you "spinal injuries" by punching you in a bar brawl. Have you ever seen most guys throw a punch? Yeah, not exactly like Roy Jones.

  • A few childhood memories of Bears training camps. I grew up about 45 minutes from Lake Forest, so Pops would take the family down for one or two practices each year.

    In 80 or 81 we were watching the linebackers practice. The old man tells us, "look, there's Otis Wilson, he ain't ever been blocked." Otis heard him, turned around, and just glared at my Dad. I guess when Otis was drafted, he was interviewed on a local sports show. One of the questions was about how he wards off blocks. His answer was something like, I don't know, I ain't ever been blocked. No one can block Otis.

    In '81, my Dad was huge on the Singletary pick and told us to watch him in practice. He said Singletary was gonna be All-Pro one day. So after practice, I asked Mike for his autograph and if he was gonna be an All-Pro some day. He replied, "I'm just concentrating on making the team, son." The other thing I remember about '81 was how huge Keith Van Horne looked compared to everyone else.

    In 81 or 82, I remember waiting for what seemed like forever for Payton to come out after showering and get his autograph. I was standing by myself close to the exit, probably 30 yards away. When he came out, a shitload of kids mad rushed towards him. A lot of the kids were bigger and older than me, so I got pushed back about 4 or 5 kids deep. After signing the first 2 or 3 autographs, he pointed at me and reached out over the other kids to sign an autograph for me. As he pointed at me he said something like, you look like a nice kid, grabbed my paper, and signed it. At 11 or 12 years old I thought that was the coolest fucking thing in the world.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Pretty sure I've heard you tell those stories before, but they're worth telling again. Golden.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Wow. After GP meeting Mac on the train last week, now a Walter story. Wow, cool.

  • Hey, I sold Ron Turner a pair of jeans once.

  • In reply to Shady:

    I wish you had put a fucking black mamba in there: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flEG4fpzRCA

  • In reply to Shady:

    I hope you poured some crotch-rot in there .....

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Love the Otis story. I'm sure your Dad and me would get along! I remember the hype about Samurai coming out of Baylor. He broke a bunch of helmets. YIKES! Love hearing Walter stories, esp involving kids.

  • Here's a story for ya Jeffy poo. The first Bears game I went to was at soldier filed in December 1979 I think. You guessed it, our boys were playing the Cheese.

    Anyhow, the score was 3-3 and it was halftime. I had to take a wiz real bad so off I went to the lou. Being a young buck and never having been to a game before, I had no idee that it was going to take so long just to take a Piss. As it was, I was freezing my soon to be man sized nuts off so I kinda welcomed the opportunity to move around with the possibility of regaining the feeling in my toes, fingers and other various exposed body parts.

    After what seemed like an eternity, I was able to make it to the pisser after standing belly button to asshole with cheese heads and Chicagoans alike for over an hour. After managing to not piss myself, I did my business and was able to crawl at a snails pace back to where my buddy and his family were, only to realize the Game was over and I had missed the Bears game winning field goal in a dazzling display of offensive firepower and our boys edged the cheese 6-3. Let me tell you, it broke my heard thst I had missed all the action that day And I vowed never again to take a wiz when the Bears played the cheese.

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    one word for you trac....

    Gatorade. Bottle.

    Also, you were a little bit spicy in this one... does the good lord usually allow such language publicly?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Love it MB! Having a lawn care and landscape business, I ALWAYS have empty Gatorade bottles in my vehicle. If not, when I stop to gas up it's the first thing I buy inside. Some properties there is just no safe place to piss. In high traffic areas, if no kids are walking on the sidewalk, just open the passenger door, piss in the bottle, and dump into the lawn. Bada bing, bada boom. You gotta make sure no kids are around. If one of them sees you pissing, you are "exposing" yourself and will be labeled a sex offender for life.

    Sometimes I use the "praying" technique. I kneel down by a piece of equipment, like I'm working on it, and take a piss. Kind of like the Tebow position, except I'm holding my cock and shaking off the dew at the end.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    You guys are bad.

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    Trac, I started Tebowing before Tebow was born. I worked at a nice Golf Club on the grounds crew back then. There were plenty of places to hide and piss on the course. The Tebow move was used back then to smoke a joint when there were golfers around. Another guy or several would show up to smoke a j, and we would pretend there was an equipment issue. One guy would get in the Tebow position and hit the joint, drop it on the ground, and the other guy or girl would get down to "inspect" the equipment. They would hit the j, and so on and so forth. I hope some loser dweeb at the National Science Association isn't reading this post.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    the kneel to piss move has been used in rugby since the begining. Trac, you should know this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-P3ZZbwbRY

    or you can just fucking piss in your pants and not give any fucks whatsoever: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qb9oB5NLS9U

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Trivia: First person to piss on the moon?

  • buzz lightyear?

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Covert joint-smoking story. Nice!

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    well done corm, well done lad.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Coming from Iowa and always riding bikes leads to a lot of outdoor whizzers. I don't even get off the bike, just pull over on the shoulder and have at it.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    In my drinking years I didn't even bother getting out of the bed.

  • Uh-Oh! Not good. One more reason to be happy about sobriety!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    he he

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    Trac, i've noticed that you always address Jeff in the pejorative. Is there a reason for that?

  • In reply to Waffle:

    oooohhhh... protective!

  • In reply to Waffle:

    You see what you want to see Mr. Waffle Sir. That's been my experience. ok?

  • Izzy was one of my favorite Bears. The Lions have a good line now ... I just hope we beat them by a lot more than the FG he's bound to block against us.

  • Further to GP's momentous collision of paths last week with the greatest quarterback ever, Jim McMahon (2 Lombardis, fifth highest winning percentage amongst all QBs ever), I found this pretty good interview with Mike North. 20 mins.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Pp12TQVITQ

  • Jimmy rolled with Sega. My man.

    In fifteen years he made more than a million dollars only once. Team? Minny-soda.

  • "green bay peeeaaaackers."

    The accent always kills me. Awesome.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOi557H6ux8

  • damn man: http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/crime/2013/06/26/ac-zimmerman-transformation.cnn.html

  • jesus Kluwe, there comes a time when you should just shut the fuck up you whinny little bitch. it's enough: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1684215-raiders-chris-kluwe-says-usa-is-a-nation-of-bigots-advocates-for-change?utm_source=cnn.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=editorial&hpt=hp_t5

  • this is why a simple old fashioned bar fight isn't advisable any more: http://tracking.si.com/2013/06/26/browns-rookie-charged-attempted-murder/?sct=hp_t2_a2&eref=sihp

    First degree attempted murder for punching a guy?!? I imagine that he tried to kick and beat the guy while he was KTFO on the ground??? That's the only explanation I can come up with.

    Obviously not condoning this, just baffled at the charges based on the description of the altercation given.

  • Hernandez is done...at least for this season, right? Can't travel out of state while on bond, plus not sure many teams would want that headache. Though some might the way he can catch/run.

  • Hernandez just got cut by the pats. damn, he's done... in life. moron.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Thug. Life.

    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/video/nfl/20130626/nfl-aaron-hernandez-arrested.sportsillustrated/?sct=hp_t2_a2&eref=sihp

  • btw, watching a little of Wimbledon online... watching larcher beat the shit out of sharapova. My god are those chicks kidding with the moaning every time they hit the damn ball. So fucking annoying.

    On another note, I bet they sound great in bed.

  • Pats fired Hernandez today.

    They must have a contractual "punk ass" clause, whereby they can invalidate any bonuses or payments if your sorry ass gets jammed in a cruiser under arrest, even prior to conviction.

    Not to stick up for him, but that is lame. Just another way that the NFLPA rolled over and got bitch kicked by the owners.

    I'm sorry, but nobody should get fired for being put under arrest until a conviction is rendered. No independent contractor should get fired for being put under arrest, unless such arrest leads to the inability to perform the duties contracted.

    But I bet these player contracts confer rights to the owners to clean out the player locker if they so much as have Columbo come around and ask questions. And yes, I am self glossing 5 points for a Peter Falk drop.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    aaaaand, here's the tie-in: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/thumbnail_570x321/2011/06/peter_falk_princess_bride_2011_a_l.jpg

    Bang! Bang!

    You're welcome my man.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I always liked Falk, but I just saw him in one of the worst movies ever made (imo). Falk was pretty good in it, the rest was like this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZHO3_PHtgs

    Bang Bang.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    my favorite sammy movie of all time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_rJg1BAEbQ

    and here's the original: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoXw17yIevI

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    The best Columbo is the one where he tracks down and gets Johnny Cash to confess to being a bad man.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I'm sure the Patriots are probably just

    (wait for it...)

    "Aaron on the side of caution."

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Like many other times, I agree with you GP.

    To be honest, I don't really like this trend in "morality" taking away a man's right to work.

    I mean, even shit like "domestic violence" which we all look down on, shouldn't mean a guy should get fired from his job. Stuff like that is never black-and-white (my step bro got "domestic violence" because his wife whacked him with his own hockey stick, so he fended her attack, pushed her down, she hurt herself then called the cops. She tried dropping charges cuz she knew she was wrong, but too late...in Cali, once the charge is made, it gets prosecuted no matter what thanks to O.J.), and taking away a guy's job only will make that person an unemployed wife beater, which can quickly turn into an alcoholic unemployed wife beater, til one day he snaps, kills, gets killed, or ends up in prison forever.

    Then, instead of having an asshole at least working, paying taxes, paying for anger management/therapy and providing for him and his family, we now have a dude in prison costing us tons of money.

    It's up to the employers, I understand, but we in society have to at least give ppl the opportunity to work, esp when s/he has not even been convicted.

  • Bwahahahaha

    http://deadspin.com/white-sox-blow-lead-in-ninth-hawk-harrelson-goes-silen-581680853

  • Rightfully so.

    I saw the play. It was absolutely a ridiclous way to blow a lead.

    It wasn't even Bush League. It was Little League.

    Beckham chasing a pop up he had no buisness trying to field, punctuated by neither pitcher, Reed, nor catcher, Flowers, taking charge of the play and calling Beckham off.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    I've personally coached little leaguers who know better. I can only imagine how Hawk would have reacted if the Sox actually lost the game. Entertaining stuff.

  • In reply to Shady:

    ....uhhhhh, we're talking about fucking baseball here, right?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    is that the sport where the ball is little, white and round? Or is that golf?

  • In reply to gpldan:

    aren't they pretty much the same thing from a 'watching it on tv' standpoint?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Bet you can't wait for those father son catches...

  • In reply to Shady:

    yes, totally in for that... and watching my kid play. Watching the pros play is fucking so boring.

    I was at the pads/dodgers game last weekend. Hardly watched one pitch/play. that game sucks compared to fb.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Attention span of a gnat. I meant to include the video below in my original smart ass comment to you btw.

  • In reply to Shady:

    yes, I have 0 patience. ZERO.

    I addmittedly need to work on it

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7wjN/volkswagen-passat-playing-catch

  • A friend of mine who lives in Boston just offered me his game worn Aaron Hernandez jersey for $100. I told him if there's any blood on it he may need to turn it in to the local authorities.

  • Farewell, Izzy. Always a favorite.

    All hail the Chicago Blackhawks!
    2 Championships in 4 seasons?
    In Chicago, THAT is a "dynasty" folks.

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