Audibles From the Long Snapper: Hester, Real Bears, Gannon

Audibles From the Long Snapper: Hester, Real Bears, Gannon


There was talk across the NFL world this week the Bears are preparing to part ways with Devin Hester this summer. Here is a piece of an article from

¿Pero es un regresador de patadas que tiene garantizado su lugar en el plantel?

John Mullin de escribió que Hester está trabajando solo para tener el papel principal de regreso de patadas en las actividades del receso de temporada.

Otros jugadores como Earl Bennett han regresado patadas en las prácticas y el entrenador en jefe de los Bears, Marc Trestman, dijo que Hester está compitiendo para ganar el trabajo de regresador de patadas.

Got all that?

I am firmly against the Bears releasing Hester prior to the 2013 season for two reasons. (1) I think there is significantly more gas in the tank. (2) I think allowing Hester to free his mind of the offensive nonsense for the first time in a few years will return his focus to being the greatest kick returner in the history of the game.

And despite what many fans and media types believe, I believe seeing the #23 ready to receive a kick still makes opposing coaches nervous and all it will take is a return TD or two before punters starting booting balls out of bounds and kickoff men launch the squib party. Hester is as much a mental weapon for Chicago as a physical one.


...and this is my new favorite bear. Thanks to the folks over at Deadspin for posting this earlier in the week.


Just thought I'd share this quote from Moon's recent column.

“I was fortunate,” Gannon said. “I worked with Marc a couple of different times. I worked with him early in my career in Minnesota and I had a chance to work with him again at a point in my career, where I was really having the most success.

“The big thing that I would encourage the quarterbacks is just get to know Marc on a personal level, on a professional level. Know why he’s calling plays in certain situations and the fact he’s going to put you in position to be very successful each week.”

I've written about it several times but it's worth restating. The relationship between Cutler and Trestman will be the defining factor of the 2013 season. Everything else is secondary.


Leave a comment
  • konnichiwa bitches.

    First of all, let him go.

    second... that's all I got.

  • I have no idea if there is anything left in the tank, but Ive seen enough to know there is nothing left in the heart. He showed he has no passion or heart for the game these past two seasons. Once they lined his pockets with money the decline of Devin Hester went into overdrive. If any team would offer us a fourth or better I say make that trade now. I certainly would wait to see if he has anything left before I just would cut him loose. His quotes during the off season told us a lot about his attitude, and thoughts about being a Chicago Bear. I certainly hope the staff isnt patient with him, if he gives himself up when someone is within 5 yards of him, cut that coward loose!

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    Bang! Bang!

    Exactamundo my main man murph!

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    If Hester didn't return kicks last year, would we have lost any more games. It's really that simple. He gone from being a difference to an average returner in my opinion.

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    What he said.

    And I strongly disagree that the Cutler-Trestman thing is the keystone of the upcoming season. If that line doesn't get fixed it won't matter if it's Bill Walsh and Joe Montana on the sideline, the offense will stall.

    Any burst Hester had is long gone. If we can get a fourth rounder for him, so be it. We have to start accumulating picks to counteract the ten years of self-immolation on draft day.

  • I'd like to see Devin chill, stay and just worry about returns. The "Hester as receiver" experiment failed and been laid to rest. Let Devin be "Ridiculous" again. I too believe, with the receiver angle out of the equation, there IS still some tread on that tire. Nothing said in anger months ago is etched in stone. More like written in the sand.

  • Concernig Hester: Frankly I don't give a d...

    I am more concerned with our O and D than jaw jacking about a guy who's time has come and gone. I'm also curious to see how ST's fits into the big picture this year but I don't think it's healthy to rely on ST's too heavily like we have in the past. One things for sure. If oh offense can't start putting up more points than we have in the past, forget about it.


    He hits for a mil if you just drop him.

    What's going on now in the press is a PR war between Hester and his agent and the Bears. Bears are dropping hints that they will eat that hit and walk away but also to the rest of the NFL: make us an offer.

    I think he's represented by Lammi. They have worked in some crazy stuff into his deals in the past, such as "no slot" clauses and stuff that I'm sure Trestman is not keen to inherit.

    They signalled with Urlacher: no clubhouse cancers allowed.

    I'm pretty sure they want to dump Hester.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I think the time for honoring himself is over. He he.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    If I owned the club, Hester would have been gone the same day he admitted he'd just been picking up paychecks. A million dollar hit is a small price to pay to send a message to your spoilt, over-paid roster of whiny professionals. Respect the jersey or ship out.

  • Tony Soprano croaked. :(

  • In reply to gpldan:

    James Gandolfini, Age 51. Done too soon.

  • In reply to gpldan:


  • Devin's decling impact as a returner has nothing to do with becoming a receiver. It isn't because he's been too busy practicing offense. He was great simply because of his natural gifts of raw speed, the ability to cut without slowing down, and his singular ability to anticipate holes before they are blocked up. That's it. He didn't get better as a returner with experience and years in the league "practicing" returns. He was great when he showed up as a rookie. He didn't have to think. He caught the ball and ran as fast as he could. Period. We really need to stop using the receiver position work as an excuse to hide the fact that his body and his instincts have declined.

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    His instincts for scoring a TD haven't declined, they have just been superseded by another more powerful instinct in Hester: FEAR.

    That combined with slowing down, and yes, being a bit more fatigued because of WR duties, has lead to our current incarnation of Devin.

    Passion seems to be gone too. Remember when Hester used to jump around in the sidelines, getting all pumped up? Not anymore.

    That's a bad mix of ingredients, like taking a shot of tequila after wine...

  • I can only comment on what I saw last two years. An indecisive KR who ran backwards or parallel more than he hit the seams. He also let way to many balls fly over his head. Even Joniak started commenting on air about Hester's fielding and angles. I disagree with Jeff's sentimental opinion based on the distant past. 3 years ago is a long long time in the NFL.

  • You guys kill me. You're like politicians. Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes true. In 2011 Devin had 1 KO return for a TD (a 98 yarder against the BiQueens) and 2 PR's for TD's. His punt return avg that year was 16.2 yds/punt. The second highest in his career. Yeah he sucked last year and looked disinterested. The year before was a very good year for him.

    BTW MB, profootballtalk? Really? The official gossip site of the NFL. Weren't any quotes available from the Star or the Enquirer?

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Canada, don't believe us, take it from the horse's mouth. Hester essentially admitted he just collected a pay check the last two years. How would you react if an employee of yours said, "Yeah, I just did enough not to get fired."

    Then, he threatened to QUIT not too long ago. I mean, yes, it's understandable, he loved Lovie, but Jebus, Briggs was as connected to Lovie as anyone, and no one heard that from him, or Peanut.

    The fact that Devin was still somewhat effective TWO years ago, even half-assing it, is more a testament to his natural talent.

    I'm an optimistic guy, so I still think we should give Hester a shot.

    Then again, a lot of folks thought the same about Lach.

  • Lach deserved a shot, but his agent fucked him. Royally.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    weeeeeell looook who the cat druged in.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Well, it didn't drug me...but the presence of the TracDaddy was just tooooo much to resist.
    You never answered my text message, maing. Just like a woman...

    That definitely should get me a SMAW to the face response.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Been hoping to hear from you Brownie.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Yep, If we gave anyone a shot or a bit of love-cash, it shoulda been Lac. We owe him. We don't owe Hester ... not for the last two years. He bit the hand that feeds.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    In the end, #54 hung up 'em up because he knew the tank was empty.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    He hung them up because his agent thought he'd get the Bears to negotiate down from his ridiculous asking price, and they said to fuck off.
    If the Bears would've bit, Lach wouldn't be retired.

  • WTH? Did "pay check" just get auto html'd by CN, or do I have some program running in my background? hmmmm

  • Plugin.
    What browser are you running?

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    I'm running Firefox with add-block plus. Must be a plug-in.

    Recently I downloaded a program that "downloads all content" like youtube, etc...I usually don't download stuff like that, but I thought I did my due diligence.

    I guess not. Gonna try wiping it off my computer.

  • If you are running IE - please stop. For the love of humanity.
    Or go to your add-ons and start disabling them.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:


  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:


    Firefox and Opera I heard were the best - so I just went with Firefox.

    Yeah, it was a VSO downloader.

    Funny, I installed it last month and it never did it b4. I guess bad plugins are like bad women - they don't show you how fucked up they are til it's too late!

  • Get your ass on Chrome and never look back.
    I only use IE for corporate apps/services and only because I have to.

    +1 on your last observation.

  • Season. Of. Destiny.

  • In reply to Shady:


    ...or SPURZ?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Spurs should have won that last damn game.

    Now, we'll probably once again be graced with this image.

  • The anointed one tried really hard to choke that game away for the Heat. He is absolutely anti-clutch - and that's the reason he will never ever win a Jordan replacement contest.

    Seriously - he was terrible.
    As was that image.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    he was fucking horrible... cept for draining that last tree

  • yeah, was at a bar with my buddy who HATES the heat and lebron.

    spruz pissed that game away. The skinny white dude was fucking TURRIBLE last night.

    Bosch was the man though.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I can always be a wee bit jealous of Ray Allen for getting to play Jesus Shuttleworth, a role I was born to play frankly...but HE is the guy that will put them over the top this year.
    Popovich fucked up by benching Duncan on that game tying three by Allen.
    It didn't help that the Spurs couldn't hit a 3 to save their lives.

    And that Bosh got away with an insane foul on the final play. You don't ever get to run body-first into a shooter in the act.
    It just shouldn't happen. It's the most frustrating part of being a basketball fan - the officiating is very easy to fuck up without -looking- like you're fucking up because if it was called consistently, the games would be 2-on-2 by the end.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    yeah... there were crazy fouls at the end... the white dude got fouled badly... and I don't know sheeeit about bball.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    At least the 'Hawks got off the deck and made it a series again. LOVED watching them do that in BAHston.

    "TurnaBOOT is fair play".
    See, I speak Canadian, too.

    Seabrook shoots and skahs!
    Time tuh head fuh the, cah, Bruins fans. Remembuh wayer yuh pahked? Have a nice evenin', tho'.

  • At this point, if we get something of equivalent value for Hester, take it.
    The question is, what is that?
    I honestly don't know - I don't even have a really strong feeling about it at this point (much as a lot of other Bears news since the draft).

    If not, he can earn his HOF spot or he can blow it. It's entirely up to him.
    So, I'm not sweating it. He was a fluky pick that paid dividends for years, provided some of my favorite memories both live and while jumping on my couch, and I won't forget those...but as with Lach, money talks, bullshit walks.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    "At this point, if we get something of equivalent value for Hester..."

    Another 6th roiunder, like for Carimi?

    The League saw the same Hester WE did last year.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:


  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    "And"... so why should anyone else want to surrender a draft pick for him? Especially if they're hearing the Bears might cut him?

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Did you read my post, Al? I said IF, and I also said I didn't know what you'd even ask for at this point.
    So, don't trade him if you don't want a 6 or 7 for him, and see what happens. Cut him in camp if he looks tentative. I don't care at this point.

    Shrugging my shoulders at whatever the fuck we're supposed to think is the right move here.

  • you're starting to sound very much like the blog apologist canada. You're one of my favs, but common senor... I calls it likes I sees it, without any bias or nostalgic bent... I believe that's all you're doing at this point.

    I found and used his quote from the first site that had it. The only part of that quote that was PFT's was the "he said". The only part of that article that mattered to me with the direct quote right from hester's own dumbass mouth.

    Dude's done my man... you saw him last year. This is football not accounting. He's got money, he's got a family, he's got everything he needs... football is a dangerous game that necessitates 100% focus and interest. He's lovie era... he doesn't want to be part of the new world order whatever the case.

    HeGone maingses.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    We'll see.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    hope not.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    So now I'm the blog apologist because I use stats to back up my beliefs. Sure. Whatever.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Don't sweat it, Canada. You know that reason abandons otherwise reasonable people on certain topics.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    awwww common maings, don't drive angry!

    The guy's just been dogshit and he 100% admitted that he's been collecting a paycheck.

    Common sense and experience with these guys tell me that there's a 75% chance he's going to be dogshit this year too. That frame of mind is really hard to overcome.

    And stats are garbage in these instances, you are totally and completely ignoring what you saw on the football field ALL of last year. Common now, you have to be a bit more fair canada.

  • And Jeff - that bear video is awesome.
    All hail Deadspin.
    "Ho-ly. Shit."

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Dude, did you see how fucking fast that thing shimmied 30 feet up that tree? Literally about 1.2 seconds.

    My god man... when being chased by a black bear running up a tree to hide is probably not the best move.

    Did you see the dude shaking at the end. Jesus, I would be too.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Yeah, they left the trickle of pee out.

    It was like, oh, hey nice bear down there.


  • In reply to MB30SD:

    You’re supposed to play dead, right? I was approached by a black bear while fishing once, ran screaming.

    The guy in the video was bow hunting from a tree stand.

  • If you play dead, they might slap you around a few times with those gigantic claws to make sure, or just to fuck around.

    I heard you're supposed to sing and dance, which will startle them away.

    But when a Bear is in your grill, my bet is that no ones going to become Fred Astaire.

  • I sing and dance like a wounded animal. Running was my best bet. The bear was after my catfish bait.

  • Lennay Kekua?

  • In reply to Shady:

    Actually, I was using Sucker chunk-bait (a Sucker is a bottom-feeding fish with a mouth like a suction cup). I had chicken livers also.

  • When I Muskie fish in October, we use live suckers as bait, anywhere from 15-24 inches long and a giant bobber. Fuck the 1,000 casts per catch shit. We catch way more Muskie with the live bait.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    If your group comes across an angry bear you don't have to be the FASTEST runner to make it out alive, just don't be the slowest.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    That hunter isn't more than 15 feet in the air. The bear is about 1 year old. He's more likely to lick you than kill you. Would I have been scared? Fuck Yeah! The guy must have been bow hunting or else he probably would have blasted the little guy.

  • Have any questions for Tom Waddle?

  • no. no I don't.

  • How serious is the restraining order against that Irish guy in Thailand?

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    I seriously wish I could have Chris ask that question. How fucking hilarious would it be if he replied "How did you know I had one on a Irish Guy in Thailand?"


  • If you don't ask him, we will, 'Too.

  • ask him if he's gonna grow a stache this year with Cutler!

  • My non-meat-head question would be:

    Will the Bears O rank in the Top 15?

    I feel that if the O ranks in the Top 15, the Bears will be serious SB contenders.

  • Oh, easily. I have no doubt on that. Zero. I think they are top-5.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    That's a great Waddle impression.

  • Is that what that is? I thought it was a reflection of MBHaP’s faith in Long & Webb.

  • It's a reflection of my faith in the receivers we now have and the fact that our TE, for the first time in several years now, can catch the damn ball.
    It's a reflection of my faith in the QB we do have and the removal of the coach we used to have.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Well it’s nice to see that kind of confidence. If Cutler goes down, and da Bears finish top-5 in offense with McCown at QB, Trestman will be a God to me.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Top 5 is a tall drink of water.

    Last year's Top 5 Os:

    1. Pats
    2. Saints
    3. Lions
    4. Broncos
    5. Redskins

    I think a more realistic goal would be in the 10-15 range:

    10. Colts
    11. 9ers
    12. Panthers
    13. Pack
    14. Giants
    15. Eagles
    16. Ravens

    Part of being a Top 5 O is bad D. The only Top 5 team that had a decent D were the Broncos, but Manning does take the foot off the pedal till late in the 4rth.

    No, I think the 10-15 range under a whole new system would be gold for us, esp if our D remains in the Top 8.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Here's the list at

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    If we finish top-five WITHOUT losing Cutler, Trestman will still be a god to me.
    But I think it can be done. The skill positions are loaded compared to any other offense we've had since...the mid-80's?

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    It's the offensive line manes. It's all. About. Da line.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    And to Butch's point, the Bears don't NEED a top 5 offense if the D is still playing above average. Most of the offenses in the top 5 have poor team defenses and have to win games via shoot out or collect meaningless stats in garbage time. See Megatron. I'd be plenty happy with top 15 next season.

  • Who was tougher than you Tom? (See: trick question. Nobody was.)

  • Is Hester done?

    Only Hester can answer that folks.

    You can wish and dream all you want but the fact is if he has no interest being a Bear anymore or even playing football anymore...all the wishes won't mean shit.

    If Hester is done then let him go. Keeping him just for the sake of keeping him is not enough to warrant a paycheck. If we were privy to all the close door conversations between him and the front office we may have a better idea on where his head is at. Since we don't, then I'm trusting the front office to make the correct decision on what is best for the Bears...not Hester...not the hopes of fans.

  • Goal recap (in video)

  • Quick question:

    Has Jeff ever advocated changing the status-quo?

    He was for keeping glitchy, keeping Lack, keeping Hester, giving Melton a big deal, keeping Kreutz.

    Jeff is the anti hopey changey guy

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Maybe he's afraid he won't bag an interview down the road. See how hard it is to maintain journalistic integrity?

  • I think keeping the GRMOAT would be wise, but it appears the Bears aren't interested.

  • Hey, does anyone know where the Bears rank on this?

  • Bottom ten.

  • Since I know a few of you are into cars I'll let you know that I picked up an 85 GMC 3500 with a 454 in it yesterday. Straight old man owned. Still has the owners manual and the original tools. Gonna tune it up and see what she can do. (I'm guessing about 8mpg)
    But its super clean for the age.

  • But will the chicks dig it? Hee hee

  • It can do quite a bit with a 454, that's some beef right there. Nice truck.

  • In reply to ben in norcal:

    Get the headlight grill. Is it a dualy?

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Haha. No BILLET! This things all original and I plan to keep it that way. Standard cab reg 8 foot bed, non dually. Take a turn and hit the gas and its hard to not have the tires chirp.
    Wanted something to put the kayaks in. I was tired of having to go back and forth and back and forth with one truck.

  • I also have an 88 Blazer what I'm going to try and paint myself. It'll be my first paint project so we'll see how it goes. I'll try and post pics.

  • If you have decent equipment, aren't trying for anything crazy custom and most important of all, you spend the appropriate time on the prep work, you should be mildly impressed with your results. I painted a friend's VW years ago and I was like "Wow, did I do that?. Not bad...""

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Thanks Tobi. I'm kinda nervous about it but it's a 4 wheel machine so she'll most likely get scratched up again anyways. But yeah I've been watching a lot of how to vids on youtube and some of those guys get some pretty good results. I'm looking forward to seeing how she turns out.

  • Hey 4ever! Did you notice how nobody with a top 5 offense won the SB? Hmmmmm.....

  • It's getting pretty sad out there. A young man is murdered and here is a representative article of the concern:

  • In reply to Waffle:

    Good Lord. The really sad thing is there are probably way too many people out there who are actually served by that article...

  • Whoa, i just read that neighbors are now stating they heard gunshots at 3am and Hernandez and his boys rolling into the house shortly thereafter.
    Tthat fucking idiot Aaron Hernandez, if he's smart, will flee the country in the next 12 hours to a non extradition country with a couple fat stacks. Homeboy is about to be an accessory to first degree murder.


    Too late Aaron, initial charges are in to at least get something on the books while they solidify the rest of the charges. Time to strike a deal. Your career is over pal. Another awesome NFL soap opera in the making. I'll never understand it.

  • Tebow to TE. Like we said.

  • Belicheat: "Let's see, "Gronk" is falling apart. I better sign Tim Tebow and make him a tight end, just in case Aaron Hernandez screws up big time."

    Actually, criminal charges not withstanding, the Pats have RARELY had both of those tight ends healthy at the same time of late.

  • So what is the story with the guy (I haven't really done much reading)

    His krew had a fight in his house? He was running a gay brothel? What was going on? Did he kill the guy, or one of his krew?

    They pull up and drag the body into his car and dump it a few miles away? How stupid. Get it on a boat and have it sleep with the fishes. I'm sure he had access to a damn boat. Big Pussy style

  • In reply to gpldan:

    he's done... fucked

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Tides. You wouldn't want it taken in and washed up on the shore. Apparently.

  • W.....T....F...

    Dude, lay waaaaaaay the fuck off the heroin. Jesus.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor's TED talk was the best I've seen so far. Life affirming stuff.

  • that was a good one maingses.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    That made me want to do LSD even though I never have.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    just watched it again... she's a trip... but I guess you would be going through that.

    Fuck, I hope I never have a stroke. Would rather have a heart attack.

  • Bring out the brain!!

  • Bang Bang!

  • what the fuck is going on in this fucking country?!?!?!?!

    Jesus christ.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Seriously... Is it sad that all we can do is hope that it doesn't happen to our loved ones or near our loved ones?


  • scary stuff man. gonna start having to wonder if going to the supermarket is going to be the last trip you'll make.

    Or get a CC license somehow... which is basically impossible for non-law enforcement in our state.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I am almost done with my CCW license training. My CCW training is almost done. I want about 30 hours on the range before I even take a weapon outside of the house.....and even then I can't see it leaving my car.

    I was running a couple weeks ago a little after dark and a group of teens were gathered on the corner about a mile from my house. As I headed towards the pack I heard one guy whisper "watch this" and he started to move into my way. I stopped in my tracks and said "watch what?"

    As I said it the kids started moving towards me, 3 of them. The kid in front stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed my brass knuckles.

    I told him that the 3 of them could whip my ass but that one of them was going to be a brain damaged vegetable by the end of it with one fucking punch to the head and that they had to decide who it was going to be.

    There was a lot of shit talking but I was able to walk around them and nothing happened. I was lucky that they didn't have any weapons but you know what? Fuck them. My fat ass was fucking running, not gangbangin on the corner.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    jesus man.

    fuck that shit... glad I live in homoginizedland.

    Dude, move. Fuck the big city.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    Where, approximately, do you live?

    That sounds decidedly 35th and Halsted to me.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I live in Beverly but foolishly decided to change up my route and head down Western towards Blue Island since it was still not quite completely dark.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    "i got your rainbow cone right here, motherfucker! the pistachio nut is de-lish!"

    No, wait. That was a terrible line. Forget that.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    and good for you on the CC license. Protect your fam maing... just make sure the kids can't get a hold of your heat and kill you.

    Mine are all locked up and are 8' above ground. Haven't taken them out of their cases in over a year actually, but they're there in case. Don't know if I would conceal carry even if I could, but sounds like you need to.... sheeeesh.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    i actually live in a neighborhood of Chicago with very little crime. It just that the areas around me to the north, south and east are uh....a little dicey for guys with bad tans if you know what I mean.

    I have a safe in the wall that no one can get to that is a safe place to store a handgun. I have made a solemn promise to myself that I won't end up on the news by getting shot by my 4 year old.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    that's a good promise... and even better one is that the kids don't get shot/shoot each other. Can you fucking imagine that... jesus, I would just kill myself right then and there.

    Fuck me, I can't even think about that stuff.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    Things are scary when you get old. 20-30 years ago you would have tried to hang out with those kids.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    I had a similar situation last summer. I was stumbling home drunk at bar time by myself in a not so well lit area. About five or six young punks run across the street laughing and making comments as they were walking behind me. A couple guys started walking up on each side of me, with the leader on my left. I just veered right into the leader, moving him out into the street, and with a big smile right in his face I asked him if we were gonna have some fun tonight. He backed off, and they turned around and walked away.

    I got jumped or rolled 3 times when I was younger by gangbangers. Since then, I decided not to be scared anymore. I just act a little crazy and welcome the confrontation. That's saved me three or four times since then.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Apparently ... criminals are only afraid of one personality type. Psychos. .
    Going temporarily insane and acting like a psycho could save your life. Or y'know, get you shot. Very quantum. Nice.

  • Some are warriors, others just plain stupid, some a little of both. I prefer the latter.

  • It's the "Die Hard 3" gambit.

    Or as they say in Batman Begins, you will always fear someone who has less to lose than you. Criminals tend to be poor, so they don't have much to lose.

    However, bat shit crazy people have already lost their sanity on top of everything else, so yeah, they're at the bottom of the hierarchy.

  • I knew a guy, white as Wonder bread, who learned spanish fluently and lived in a cuban neighborhood in Chicago. He got the shit beat out of him once, for having his Cuban girlfriend. He tried - oh how he tried - to assimilate. He was a school teacher in the fucking grade school, for fuck's sake.

    But they didn't want him. Did NOT want him there. Did NOT like his girlfriend.

    So they beat him up again. Robbed him again.

    He lasted through 3 robberies before he gave up and left, went to the burbs and got himself a white girlfriend and wised up. I think they told him next time they were going to kill him.

    So - you know - racism is a two way street.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    and is oh so fun no matter which ignoramus it comes from.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    My office is on the northside and I can't tell you how many times I've been flashed gang signs and been called "pinche gringo" which, I believe means, "awesome, successfull, perfect haired white person".

  • In reply to Waffle:

    No intent to offend, the characters' race could be reversed and it would still be one of my favorite movie scenes:

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Gran Torino Baby!

  • Best TED talk? Peter Weyland

    Egotistical? Sure. But he made the talk in the future and sent it back, so as card tricks go...

  • Yo MB. I'm not one for posting images of the female form per se, this being a blog dedicated to a certain Chicago sports team. This is a one-time-only response to your endless bevy of blonde bimbettes. This is a brunette bombshell to balance the force, my friend.

    (lies prostrate before her altar, a single burning candle on either side of her image)

    Her name is Thelma and that's all I know.

  • Play three card monte with us:

  • In reply to gpldan:

    better than coffee.

    I was just checking in before my day starts and i'm treated to cat daddy and others? nice.

    Here is my thought of the day: HAWKCE...that is all.

  • In reply to Waffle:

    What a slugfest huh Waffle? Someone said this was going to be like a heavyweight boxing match till the very end. They wuz dead on. I love what this Cup series is doing for the sport.

  • In reply to gpldan:


  • Man this is a boring time in da blogger zone.

    Caught Phil Emery's interview with Millsy on Sirius this week. Listening carefully to his comments, it was obvious Cutty and Tice and Lovie did not have a good relationship. Emery believes the most important relationship in the team is the one between the HC/QB. That gents, is why Lovie got canned. When Cutty was acquired from the Bronco's, Lovie's goose was cooked. Emery has gone all in with Cutty and in my opinion, and a majority of his moves have been specifically designed to solidify the QB position. Cutty better get along with Trestman & Co. or Phil will take it personally. Something tells me Cuttys not gonna like it if Phil looses his cool. No doubt about it, Cutty had better kick it up a notch. If not, I now tend to agree with some of you who think he will be traded under the franchise tag if he has a bad year.

    I also think I've figured out Phil's drafting tactics over the last 2 years. Outside of the Jeffrey pick, it seems Phil likes to go dark horse in order to try and combat picking so late in the draft. Pretty gutsy if you ask me, and I likey.

    My last point, God help Emery if the team sucks this year.

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    Phil likes to go dark horse in order to try and combat picking so late in the draft. Pretty gutsy if you ask me, and I likey.

    Phil as GM acts alot like Phil the lifetime scout.

    His career must have been full of advisement that went unheeded. He may be selective recalling all the Troy P types he put up there and his team didn't take. So now, he's the man in charge, and he's going to show us all what brilliant drafting is.

    Every single major Pro Football writer has graded our last two drafts as a C, but Emery is going to show us all what a genius he is.

    Ok. I'm waiting. Here what I see from last year, though, that leads me to think the guy may be a dork:

    Chicken Dinner may not even make Trestman's roster with concussions and a bad foot.
    Jeffery seems to have a conditioning issue, maybe likes his Big Macs, either way, let's see how he comes to camp.
    Hardin is a bust
    Erod is a spectacular bust, I guess I'm just happy he didn't shoot anybody.
    Frey? Nothing so far but this is his year.
    McCoy - same deal - let's see him break through or call it

    I'm not so sold on Phil.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    To be frank GP, my foot is on the same ledge yours is. I just haven't looked down yet. Lol. I can definitely see major implosion and all I can say is, Waffle may call in a prescription of prozac just to be on the safe side.

    My gutsy comment certainly had its reservations in my mind when I pressed the send tab but until I see a circus act on the field this year, I'm gonna just have to close my eyes and hope.

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    I'm with you guys. We've been down this dark alley concerning our O so many times, I'm not getting my hopes up until I see something positive. I like Emery in every phase except the most important one, drafting. It's way too early to say he sucks at it but he's not exactly off to a great start.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    When do we start being critical? 2 of the last 3 years, we had to wait for the halfway point before the Bears got their offensive game plan out of the shitter. Remember when Lovie let Martz put Forte on the shelf for the first 6-8 games in '10 &'11?

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    This whole year is a pass. They could go 2-14 and we'd have to give it all a pass.

    Year after that and 2015 you expect big things.

    They kicked Lovie out because they wanted greatness one more time for Ginny before she makes it to the endzone in the sky. Tick tock.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    10-6 last seson? And we allegedly just got better, so it's playoffs or thereabouts for minimum expectations. We'll see how Briggsy is at calling the D.

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    Week four.

    If we haven't shown any signs of moving the point of attack forward by then - I don't know, in the general area surrounding Roberto Garza, say - or the pass pocket is continually imploding from the center straight back into Cutler, then we don't have a lot of options and I will no doubt mention a certain Mr. Schwenke along with a few choice profanities on this here l'il blog of ours.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Yeah, I'm cautiously optimistic.

    I was on Da Board the last two drafts, so I vividly recall most of our initial impression.

    Phil's first draft was, "Who?" Then we all had to go back and research who the fuck Chicken Dinner even was because PFW had like a 4rth round grade on him, and only a few mock drafts even had him in the 1st going to a 3-4 D.

    Then the 2nd, everyone was rosterbating, "We're going to go from no TEs to having TWO studs" or, "Damn, that a top 5 talent is there for us in case this Melton situation becomes too expensive. Floyd." or "Patterson, gots to be Patterson. Dude can replace Hester and learn the WR position"

    But instead, we got an old rookie who just learned how to play football.

    So yeah, I think "underwhelmed" is the word I'd use to describe it. A "C" sounds about right. Kid brings home a "C", you try not to look too disappointed, but you let him know, "Better get your shit together, son."

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    You like gutsy for drafting players? I'd rather pick 4 good players than end up with nothing while trying to be gutsy and finding some diamond under a rock.

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    You can make diamonds in laboratories. Can this modern twist help us to develop players? The Bears front office has brought in a statistician to crunch numbers, I like. Moneyball?

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    I don't know Trac, he's left us without a center, and by implication, a backup center. We'll see. If the team sucks it'll be because of the o-line and there's an obvious cause for concern in the middle of it.

  • For you GP.

    Every once in while I come across pieces like this that lifts my sails.

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    I like Seifert ok. He's a four letter guy I can stand.

  • Why in thee world do these guys go to sleazy strip joints? I have never seen the attraction.

  • It's like Waffle's incident on Western Ave.

    Except it's road rage. In Florida. And the guys are lawyers.

    Decrepit.... lawyers... that fight. I am *SO* in...

  • In reply to gpldan:

    man i wish training camp started tomorrow

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Never hire a lawyer the drives a VW Beetle?

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    My bad. I meant to say, "Never hire a lawyer that drives a VW Beetle?" Sheesh!

  • The 85 Bears still inspire me. Even after all these years. hoo ya!

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    You've gotta watch all the video's. This guy is awesome, I love it.

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    That was funny about Moore, the Pats right tackle. He got fined pretty much his whole salary for being overweight, and was actually locked up during the week to stop midnight binge eating.

    John Hannah started the superbowl with a broken neck?

    The five families that run football declared that it was verboten to cut Hampton at the legs. Respect.

    Holloway surmises Dent was on 450k that year. He actually made 90.

    Yup, the Ryan fatties got daddy's playbook, but they didn't have the #50.


    Hey Dave... would you trade emery's entire 2011 draft for Kuechly? Rookie of the year and lead the fucking league in tackles!?!?

    I like baby marsh, but not that much.... especially given how the lach situation turned out.

    Can you imagine what phill would be called today if he would have traded our draft for kuechly... a genius maybe? Hindsight's 20-20 I guess.

    (and yes I know it's BR... go back down from the page above and there are TONS of bears in the top 35. Surprise pick at #47. WTF!?!?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    It's not hindsight, we all wanted Keuchly. I said it then, that he was the closest Lach clone since, well, Lach. Willis too, but he has a different game, more like a Singletary.

    Trading up probably would have cost us a 1st, 2nd and 3rd, and we were missing a 3rd that year, so no Shea, no Alshon, and no, let's say, Kasheem Green (even though he was a 4rth, he had a higher grade to him).

    Some might argue that's too much, esp when MLBs can be had for cheap in FA (like D.J.)

    However, would we trade Alshon, Green and Shea today for Keuchly?

    Things that make you go...hmmmm....

  • I would have before the draft. None of the three mentioned are key players that would adversely affect us if they weren't here. For Alshon we've got Terrence Toliver or Chris Summers or Shabba or whoever.

    Kuechly as your mike? Priceless. Straight from Urlacher to the next HOFer. How sweet would that be?

  • You guys gotta let me know what you thought of Hollaways videos above. He was an all pro LT for the Patriots and he offers up some really awesome inside the NFL scoop on the 85 Bears and the character dynamics that made the 85 Bears. I did not know that Mongo was cut by the Pats. There was so much he talked about that I'm gonna have to watch it again.

    He said Hampton was a made guy and that the five families of football respected his toughness so much that the put the word out to not let anyone touch his knees in a game.

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    I just watched 1-5.

    Ryan's legacy of having Singletary drop into the low zones and deck any TEs that tried to release inspired the team to build around Urlacher.

    With today's TEs that can run Vernon Davis style, putting 9 in the box today is suicide.

    The Pats only hope in that Jan '86 Super Bowl was to get the fastest guys and try and beat Frazier and Richardson over the top - but the Pats made to the top of the heap in 85 by being an unstoppable running team. Well, 9 in the box quickly dispels that, especially when you bring 2-3 off the edge every play and make the tackles start to cry and have nightmares for 3 decades, as happened here.

    You think back to Mark Bavaro and Emery Moorehead, man those were 5.0 40-yard guys, big lumbering brutes. Kellen Davis would have been a superstar and in Canton were he around in 1985.

    Shit, Moorehead probably did the 40 in 6 seconds. You could go to the refrigerator and come back later with a beer when he ran the length of the field.

    Game is too fast to sell out to the blitz like that anymore. It was great while it lasted.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Cap Boso. Jim Thornton. We've always had some of those big beefy TEs. Now we got the Unicorn to bring the.pain.

    I can feel a season-opener where we rip the Bengals 44-13 and then rape the Vikings before winning two on the road and coming home for the Saints game.

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    I thought they were great (all 15). Did a little poking around on the internet after watching them and found that he's a pretty successful motivational speaker as well as being a former first round draft pick out of Stanford. I also noticed he's left-handed (southpaws always notice other southpaws)...

  • I guess they didnt listen about those knees, since he had surgery after surgery on them.

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    That came later Murph. Hollaway said that his knees were in such bad shape that if anyone wanted to, they could have easily ended his career anytime they wanted to. He said looking at them made him want to puke.

    He said after every game, Hampton used to go into the trainers room and ask for two double cheeseburgers which consisted of two bags of ice on the top and bottom of each knee.

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    the dude in the video has a VERY high opinion of himself. A little annoying to listen to.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    That's not how I read it MB. He was speaking with authority. I had no problem with that. What he wanted the viewers to know was that he wasn't some washed up UFL player speaking out of his ass.

    I loved the insight he gave when he referred to McMichaels temperament after the Pats cut him. He thought that had a lot to do with Mongo going Psycho.

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    I loved those vids, Trac. Thanks for posting it. He seemed to know what was going on with the 85 Bears, even brought up the bad blood between Ditka and Walsh and how the Fridge as HB was originally and FU to Walsh.

    Also said it took 2 years for Walsh to finally figure out the 46. That's interesting, because I wonder if it'll take about 2 years to figure out the option/pistol.

    It took about 2 years to nullify the Wild Cat.

    This is year 1 and a half for the read option in the NFL (Tebow was more wild cat), so I'm very curious if this is the year that Ds contain it.

    Then again, RG3, Wilson and Kap are extraordinary athletes who can throw.

    Like the Vid said, if it wasn't for Singletary, the 46 doesn't work, so sometimes talent makes certain schemes possible.

  • I had to laugh when he talked about Singletarys eyes.

  • Hossa to play

    Take care of bidnezz then get the Cup in Beantown. How you like dem applez braaaaah

  • can you guys believe that an old, southern white lady used the n word in the past?!?!?!?! I am shocked.


    In other news, who fucking cares.

  • they are playing the casey anthony show on tv... I had to switch it off... I remembered how fucking sick that case made me. I can't believe they let her off man, can't fucking believe it. fucking disgusting.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Fucken A, MB. Witch.

  • horrific what that 'mother' did to that beautiful little girl man, literally churns my stomach that the woman is still walking this earth.

    Hopefully karma is a real thing. fuck.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    That's how I feel about terminated pregnancies. There, I said it.

  • In reply to TracDaddy:


    but one was a 4 year old little girl maings, and while I understand your POV (and don't agree with it for the most part), they are a little different.

    Remember back to when your little girl was 4 and think about what little Caylee went through. It is different.

    I get that at their core they're both a life, but one being 'sentient' makes it different.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I see what you see +

  • The Detroit Lions suck.

    that is all.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Ha. Couldn't have said it better myself. I'm so bored I've really been having to fight the urge to troll.

  • Long after the conversation has shifted....

    I think Hester can have a great season this year. He's older, yep. Slower? Yep. Vilified by fans and media for the past couple of seasons? Yep. Poisoned at the Deion Sanders Altar? Yep.

    Everyone remember the big holdout where he rode around training camp in a wheel barrow? All the while, listening to Sanders tell him how much he was worth, how to game the system, yadda yadda.,

    But, he's had some time to grow and see things more clearly. I think the biggest difference will be if he's changed his relationship with Sanders from Hero to Yesterday's News. Otherwise, you're all probably right, he's going to wind up hoping he's decent trade fodder in 2014.

    I'm pulling for him.

  • Hester is yesterday's new. Sure he might still pose a slight threat but I bet he'll fade away.

  • Alright guys, it's that time again...I have about 4 months to go before I rappel down the side of a 28-story building and you guys were awesome enough to contribute last time (for which you have my eternal thanks, even though I froze my nuts off).

    Please consider making a donation - whatever you can spare, helps.
    I'm giving away some prints of photos I took the last couple of years, but in order to see them, you need to be a friend of mine on FB. Some of you have that contact information, some have my personal cell # - for everybody else, post a message to me on that firstgiving page if you want me to send you thumbnails of the prints to see if you're interested.

    OK - done shilling until next month, beyotches!

    PS - if we go 2-14, I'm not giving the FO a pass! F-ck that!
    If we go 2-14, I'm skipping the rappelling line and just walking off the ledge!

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    I'm in...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Way to set the bar HIGH, maing! Thanks!!!!

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    no, fuck that... you're getting lazy in your old age. do something new for the chilluns... like that unassisted highwire walk across the grand canyon.


    (oook, I'm in too)

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    My wife and I give to a couple of select charities every year and usually keep it there. But, when I read your post then went to the site, I thought, "Hell, this is original. He's flinging himself off a building to raise some bucks for Special Olympics? How many people do that?

    Good on ya partner.

  • Thank you, sir!

  • Cutler to Martellus. Touchdown. Cutler to Marshall. Touchdown. Cutler to Forte. Touchdown. Cutler to Shabba. Touchdown. Cutler to Jeffrey. Touchdown. Who do you stop?



  • It's good to know that MBHP will be played by Jason Segal in "DBB: The Movie"

    I will, of course, be played by Nick Nolte.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    irish played by Gary Busey!

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    I think that's a given.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    can I be jason stetham?

    Or jason bourne?

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I'm OK with that.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Samual Jackson would play a great waffle.

  • In reply to TracDaddy:

    Dennis Farina as Johnny Waffle, hes older but could definitely play him! He could capture the true essence of our Waffle!

  • let's not squabble canada... just buy me one of these dogs (the yoda one maybe) and we'll call it even


    grunt grunt.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    He would be horrible at broadcasting. When he tried to be personable, his personality still sucked!

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    So many baby mamas, so little time...

  • I'm wondering if the Patsy's would now consider parting with a first or 2nd rounder for Hester.

  • MB, what actor could play Doc? Dont say Cheech Marin, hahahahha!

  • In reply to #76 Mongo Murph:

    dude from 30 rock

  • Nobody has mentioned it yet, but the Bears are getting analytical.

    "One example of situational football Tanney likely will study is short-yardage plays broken down by down-and-distance, location on the field, time remaining and score of the game. That information will help them decide whether to go for a first down or kick a field goal, for instance, on fourth-and-two at their opponent’s 14-yard-line with less than two minutes left in the first half.

    “What you’re trying to do is figure out the probability of success of taking the chance or not taking the chance in terms of a successful outcome not only in that given situation but what it could mean in terms of the overall game,” Emery said.

    As far as scouting, Tanney will add to the Bears’ existing scouting process by creating a composite evaluation from a player’s physical, psychological, intellectual and medical data, helping to determine where he is now and projecting where he’s going to be.

    In filling the position, Emery was seeking someone who possessed a football background, the ability to communicate, and advanced math skills along with prior successful work experience in a relatively new and growing field.

    He found the perfect candidate in Tanney, a former quarterback who spent the last two years as manager of football products and sports analytics for STATS LLC, where he helped create and manage many of the company’s advanced football statistics for NFL and collegiate football analysis. "

  • In reply to Shady:

    I hate to sound like Hawk Harrelson here but analytics in football is for pussies.

    This game is about exerting physical dominance over your opponent and outsmarting them using your plays and players vs their plays and players.

    I don't have to be a fucking adwizard to know that if we are running the shit out of the ball and we call a playaction on 3rd 3 and pop the ball into our huge fucking fast as balls tight end that the LB may be cheating the run and therefore would give Cutty the window to quickly get the ball into Bennet's hands for a first down and maybe more.

  • you guys remember this story... they got the guy:

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I farted in your general direction on the new thread and now it's simply lingering. I'm going to request a pointed response from you shortly.

    KIDS! listen to the rap mu-sic...

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